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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

First person to ever be pregnant in the whole wide world.

188 replies

User1234567891011 · 08/11/2016 11:49

Don't get me wrong - pregnancy is the most extreme thing I can think of happening to a human body without even getting to the whole birth part.

I know complaining and grumbling is completely within the right of any pregnant person and it is normal for there to be pain etc in pregnancy.

However. How many of you have ever had to listen (mine is over FB and in person) to someone who acts like they're the first person to ever be pregnant (you know what I'm talking about). Moaning and complaining constantly over the tiniest of things, even if they're not exactly pregnancy related they somehow become because of it!

Example: ''My headache is so bad, pregnancy is so hard, I didn't realise it would be this awful! I'm going to have to go to the doctor to get some strong painkillers''. This is at about 6 weeks. Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
User1234567891011 · 08/11/2016 17:09

If I unfriended her she wouldn't be able to message me about shift swapping but I have just asked OH how to 'unfollow' people so you're still friends but don't see what they post! Woohoo! Although now I'm worried the whole ''You didn't like my post'' thing will be directed at me. Confused

Like I said, I know pregnancy is hard but when someone has form for these things and needs to announce everything to the world via social media and in person (and competing to be the worst off) you can see the how she is FPPE [first pregnant person ever] That's right. I'm acronym-ing it haha! Loving all these stories though, keep them coming.

True to form her update for this afternoon before I unfollowed is: A scan picture she's already posted 4 times and the message: ''3 more days until we find out if I'm having a big strong boy or a lovely girl. Can't wait to meet you baby, you're going to be hard work but worth it all!'' - Typo free for you all.

OP posts:
Pretenditsaplan · 08/11/2016 17:43

I have the same on my fb... Only it's about a puppy. Not her first puppy just the latest in a long line of dogs she's had till she got bored and traded up for a newer model. Last week was the obligatory "I can believe it's been 5 weeks since 'little man' had his balls chopped off". I go give up

Pretenditsaplan · 08/11/2016 17:44

*I give up. (Stupid gloves)

OhPuddleducks · 08/11/2016 17:49

Wait til the baby gets here. I have a normally perfectly rational lovely friend who has a six month old WHO SLEPT THROUGH EVERY NIGHT FOR SIX MONTHS and is now waking every three or so hours (so behaving like a baby). Honestly I can't believe the fuss she is making. After six days she was "so sleep deprived" she forgot to ask about our friend's dad who was in hospital and having a major op. Kept moaning on about how she had even started to go to bed when the baby did. Shocking.

Sorry. I know I'm off topic but had to get that off my chest.

ovenchips · 08/11/2016 17:54

Christ, that's an annoying update from your Facebook/ colleague frenemy. Is it her 20 week anomaly scan she's referring to? If it is, its main purpose is not a sexing scan to find out if she's having a 'big strong boy or lovely girl' but to check the foetal health. I was holding my breath and hoping the gods were on my side when I had mine, as very aware I wasn't guaranteed good news. The sex of the baby was just an afterthought.

Some people really need to be voted off the island.

travellinglighter · 08/11/2016 18:18

: ''3 more days until we find out if I'm having a big strong boy or a lovely girl. Can't wait to meet you baby, you're going to be hard work but worth it all!'' - Typo free for you all.

My big strong boy is 14 and the jury is out on him being worth it.

For the record my ex had hyperemesis from about five minutes after conception until five minutes before birth(I got the blame). She's medical and any whiny mothers get told how she resuscitated a junkie with multiple stab wounds in a car park at seven months pregnant only occasionally turning away to throw up. They tend to stop whining(probably cos she's quite scary).

SpaceUnicorn · 08/11/2016 18:25

3 more days until we find out if I'm having a big strong boy or a lovely girl

But what if she ends up having a big strong girl or a lovely boy?! What will happen then???????????

Original poster
User1234567891011 · 08/11/2016 21:12

Sorry guys, 3 weeks, not days. But still. Also she is 13/14 weeks now, she's paying for a private scan to find out the sex earlier than 20 weeks apparently so she can start buying things early. I thought it was hard enough to check at 20!

OP posts:
jayisforjessica · 08/11/2016 21:20

We had a girl like this at work. "I can't do x, I'm pregnant!" "I can't do y, I'm pregnant!" "I can't do z, I'm pregnant!"

Well, what CAN you bloody do? Because it seems like you want to stand there getting paid to do sweet bugger all while we pick up your slack. And we can't ask for cover because the department has limited shifts and you're taking up the hours that could be given to someone who will actually HELP us!

OhtoblazeswithElvira · 08/11/2016 21:21

So a pregnant woman is excited and happy and wants to share her feelings with you because she considers you a friend. How awful for you OP Hmm If only there was a way for you not to be subjected to this horrific barrage Hmm

Should we get rid of the pregnancy board, the monthly buses, the hyperemesis support, in fact the whole MN site? Does it get on your nerves?

Original poster
User1234567891011 · 08/11/2016 21:26

OhtoblazeswithElvira If you had read the whole thread you would see she is sharing with everyone, not just me. This isn't happy excited sharing - this is over sharing and complaining about every little thing for the attention. The only thing talked about by her, she is also has the worst of every little thing.

I didn't say anything like that and to suggest that I did is stupid. I know people who have been pregnant and not felt the need to share every tiny detail and complain about everything (and from the others on this thread its clear that I'm not the only person to experience this) I am happy for both them and her.

OP posts:
Mouthofmisery · 08/11/2016 21:29

I'm the first person to ever be pregnant! This pregnancy is crap and worse than my others and it's all consuming! I'd love to meet someone who moaned more than me about it but I doubt I will!!!!

whifflesqueak · 08/11/2016 21:32

I think I was probably a little like this with my first Blush

only to my family and v close friends, mind. and they must love me because they never rolled their eyes in front of me

Marmalade85 · 08/11/2016 21:33

The first mention of my pregnancy on Facebook was a photo of my newborn son

OhtoblazeswithElvira · 08/11/2016 21:35

I have read the whole thread. That is what it boils down to IMO.

youarenotkiddingme · 08/11/2016 21:43

She isn't the only person ever to get pregnant - because a colleague of mine did too.

Life stopped. Just like that. It wasn't a awful pregnancy she just couldn't possibly do anything because she was pregnant.

DarkDarkNight · 08/11/2016 21:44

Yup, had one of those at work. She used to sit and stroke her belly while cooing and making googly eyes.

She had an annoying nickname for the baby and a pregnancy-related excuse for everything. The worst thing was her explaining things in great detail to people who already had children, grown up children in some cases.

It really taught me how not to be when I was pregnant.

MaddyHatter · 08/11/2016 21:49

mine was the one who on a joint trip out called time early because she was 'tired'.

All she did was moan about how tired she was and how she couldn't possibly make it the 5ft from my car into a coffee shop and i needed to take her home right then because it was sooooo hard and how i couldn't possibly understand.

Bearing in mind i was pg with no2 and had severe SPD and was stood there with tubigrip from knee to armpit and reliant on crutches to walk, and had been driving her around all morning....

But i had no idea...

SheldonCRules · 08/11/2016 21:54

Had a few of these, it's even worse since FB was invented. It usually follows what feels like an eternity in wedding planning Grin

Then there's the precious flowers who can't surely be expected to actually work or do anything in the house or who send their poor OHs out at all hours for non existent cravings.

ShebaShimmyShake · 08/11/2016 21:59

I used to hold my belly all the time at work when I was pregnant, because she was a hell of a wriggler and kicker and you could see the bump moving from across the room. Made me incredibly self conscious....

Namechangeemergency · 08/11/2016 22:37

I have five DCs and no one was particularly interested in my pregnancies.
Even with my first it was treated as if it was a massive mistake and I don't think anyone congratulated me.

So I tend to cut women a bit of slack however self absorbed they are about their pregnancies. It is usually the biggest thing to have happened to them and causes all sorts of craziness.

Plenty of people get a new car and don't stop blapping on about it for months so its not surprising that a woman will be so astounded at the fact she is pregnant she thinks everyone else will be too.

I think there is a bit of a trend now to pretend pregnancy and the birth of your first child is no big deal. You see it all the time on MN, calling women birthzillas/pregzillas for wanting time alone with their newborns or not wanting to decorate their MIL's spare back bedroom when they are 9 months gone.

I think pregnancy should be indulged a bit. I know its not an illness but its not the same as not being pregnant either is it?

I am sure she is a right PITA and YANBU for thinking she is but it doesn't really matter does it?

I have no personal axe to grind. I had easy pregnancies (although the first trimesters were HORRIBLE) and the births were a doodle (apart from the first) so I was up and doing school runs straight after etc blah blah.

I just smile and nod and look sympathetic when women are a bit OTT about it all. Even the most normal of women can lose their minds a bit with their first baby Smile

hanban89 · 08/11/2016 22:47

Haha SMEG your SIL is my SIL. she also had the worst labour pain than anyone in the world. If my labour pain was as bad as hers, I would have had an epidural as well! I have to bite my tongue at times.

PetalMettle · 08/11/2016 23:01

Grin there was no clue on Facebook I was pregnant until ds was born

MidniteScribbler · 09/11/2016 02:19

I've got the first woman to ever breastfeed on my facebook. Every single time the kid eats she's sticking photos on facebook. She even does that live feed of the kid sucking on her.

And hashtags! #blessed #myperfectboy #boobiebaby #breastisbest #feedingthefuture #theonlywaybabiesshouldeat #breastfeedinglife.

Haworthiia · 09/11/2016 11:59

Urgh midnite - I mainly BF but have bunged ds the odd bottle - someone pregnant on my FB made a number of very unpleasant 'omg the ingredients in formula, my precious baby will only have my sacred milk' series of posts. I pointed out that BF is ace but you never know how it'll go, it can be painful and that it's not terribly nice to judge someone for feeding their baby...
Fast forward to post birth and that has mysteriously stopped - her baby is bottle fed so she can 'go out on the lash.' She is currently on a weekend away doing shitloads of drugs.

It is the one and only time I've ever hooked my judgy pants over someone's feeding choices... I dgaf how people feed but seeing her be so bloody awful to other ff mums then magically change her tune (she is now critical of BF mums) made me see red.

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