First person to ever be pregnant in the whole wide world.

[User1234567891011]

Don't get me wrong - pregnancy is the most extreme thing I can think of happening to a human body without even getting to the whole birth part.

I know complaining and grumbling is completely within the right of any pregnant person and it is normal for there to be pain etc in pregnancy.

However. How many of you have ever had to listen (mine is over FB and in person) to someone who acts like they're the first person to ever be pregnant (you know what I'm talking about). Moaning and complaining constantly over the tiniest of things, even if they're not exactly pregnancy related they somehow become because of it!

Example: ''My headache is so bad, pregnancy is so hard, I didn't realise it would be this awful! I'm going to have to go to the doctor to get some strong painkillers''. This is at about 6 weeks.

[ThisIsReallyNotMyName]

I would love my best friend to have the opportunity to moan about being pregnant, but she'd just gone through her 3rd failed IVF attempt.

[Casschops]

....but I still love my pregnant friends and know that to them it's a journey that they are in and want to share. Go out, buy them some paracetamol and give em a huge hug. X

[Casschops]

Those of us who have become mums via other routes find it hard to listen to all the pregnancy related updates, the scan pictures and the morning sickness updates. We can't announce on Facebook or anywhere that we have even got a child as this could have serious repercussions. We sit back quietly and thank God that we are privileged to have the child we have.

[MauiWest]

Facebook is not an email, what is posted is not addressed to YOU! The world doesn't revolve around you. The whole point of FB is that you can unfollow, or even unfriend someone. If you are not interested by some posts, then ignore. It would be rude, or at least unreasonable, to email or text YOU specifically with endless details. You don't care, fine, just move on. Moaning and bitching behind someone's back because you are jealous (of the attention she is receiving) is pathetic. You are only seeing the updates because you want to, no one is forcing you

[PinkyOfPie]

I'm the first person to say that a woman should have a right to moan about pregnancy. It's fucking hard, and I can't bear the idea that we should smile sweetly and shut up about it when it's fine to moan about any other medical condition. Don't get me started on the nob heads who say "it's pregnancy not an illness"

However...there's a difference between venting to your OH or best friend or mum, and posting constant Facebook updates to your 'friends' (most of whom are not actual friends but people you have known in your life) about every last detail of your pregnancy. The former is acceptable, the latter is sheer attention seeking and sympathy grabbing.

My 1st pregnancy was a walk in the park. Birth not so much. I'm now on pregnancy no 2, and it's been 7 months of hell - various complications with both me and the baby, and what feels like endless hospitals visits. I like a good moan to those near and dear to me (they do ask as they know the extent of the problems we've faced) but I wouldn't dream of sharing everything on Facebook. because most people would not give a shit anyway, that doesn't offend me, it's the truth.

I have a friend who I've known since I was born pretty much and I've often wondered if I met her know, would I like her? She's on pregnancy no 3. Her 1st pregnancy was the worst ever, daily updates about various ailments (TBF she was a hypochondriac all through school so this wasn't a great shock). 2nd pregnancy was the same, and since having kids she is very candid (on FB) about how skint they are, how hard she finds having kids and how sad it is that she can't afford a 3-bed so her boy and girl have to share a room. Yet that's all forgotten when (tried for) baby no 3 is in utero. She asks me frequently about my pregnancy but only as a hook-in to talk about herself. I feel like I could say "it turns out I'm actually carrying a goat that will be born with 8 eyes so pretty depressed" and she'd reply "that's nice, I'm sooooo tired and the kids are driving me mad honestly never have more than 2!" 🙄 When I meet her (which is rare as we live miles away) she isn't the least bit interested in my life and finds a way to steer the conversation back to her. When I did the obligatory "we're expecting a baby" text with DD1 she replied saying "how lovely but I thought you weren't ready for kids yet?". This alluded to a conversation we had a whole year earlier, she was a new mum and asked if me and DH had any plans for a baby, and I said "not just yet, no". That response quite pissed me off, what possessed her?!

It's not even pregnancy that's an issue, it's the over sharing in general and assumption that people give that much of a shit about the fine details of your life. It's all a thinly veiled attempt to attract to "oh bless Hun you're a wonderful mum and amazing keep doing what you're doing" type comments. They may as well post "I'm poorly, pay me attention"

[ovenchips]

NameChangeEmergency You're exactly right I've come back for a little read.

I think we are just going to have to agree to disagree and leave it at that!

Really am orf now.

[Mrsgingermum]

She's just prepping for baby group, where it's "my Archie walked last night" "my Fred walked at 8 months" "my Hatty walked, talked and got her first degree at 5 months". Sorry but really annoys me.

[Namechangeemergency]

You are not posting anymore because I haven't agreed with you and you are accusing me of being impossible to debate with?

I suspect you are still reading.

You posted that those who didn't think the posts were fair or pleasant could only think that because they didn't understand the sort of people who were being posted about. You then described the sort of person they were about.
You also describe how FB is supposed to be used. What it is for and what it isn't for.

I can't see how my post has failed to understand that.

Why is it more unlikely that everyone on this thread is devoid of empathy than that everyone they are posting about have personality disorders?

Neither scenario is likely at all.

I didn't say that FB is a journal. I said that people can, and do, us it as one and there is no law, rule or even reason why they shouldn't.

[Totallybonkersmum]

If she bothers you that much I'd suggest that if it's health related that she sees her doctor/midwife ASAP.
If it's regards equipment to buy, I'd tell her to look at reviews on line and to do price searches online too.
Just keep bouncing the ball back. After all, you're not medically qualified are you? You're not up to date on the best pram, cot, etc to buy, either are you? I'd suggest she googles it.
Just keep bouncing that ball back ALL THE time. She'll soon get the message!
Remember, however, how you felt when you were pregnant. Maybe they've been trying for this baby for a very long time, maybe she's had numerous IVF's and this has finally happened. She's still in a state of shock. I remember when I first got pregnant the first time. I was in shock, feeling a myriad of feelings, whilst hubs just said "oooo", even though we were trying. I felt devastated. I don't think I've forgiven him even now! You don't know 100%, what's behind her behaviour. She's probably feeling really nervous, marvelling at the ability of her own body, maybe going through all that with her own DM and/or her own MIL. I'd refer her to the library too. I'm sure they'll have back copies of the best 'whatever item' she's enquiringly about. Tell her to go off shopping while she's still got energy. Point her in the direction of the local NCT that cover her area; they're looking for new mum's! Plus she can get her name down for an NCT course birthing course as they do get very booked up, early on.
Is this her first child, btw?

[ovenchips]

NameChangeEmergency My last response on this thread:

You are referring to things I haven't actually said eg 'every person on this thread has a personality disorder' and it's no fun trying to debate with someone who does that.

As for your assertion that posting multiple posts on FB is actually the same as a private journal and not a form of social media because 'it's whatever the user wants it to be'...

Bye.

[Namechangeemergency]

'narcissistic traits' is just pseudo psychology.

Who says FB is not a journal? FB is FB. Its whatever the user wants it to be.

If someone is annoying or boring you just say it. No need to justify it with all kinds of cod psychology

It is ridiculous to suggest that every person discussed on this thread has a personality disorder.

[TheNaze73]

YABU. Just unfollow the twat

[ovenchips]

I think it's perfectly possible that everyone who understood what OP meant has had a similar experience with a solipsistic person when pregnant. I think there are enough of them about. People with narcissitic traits are certainly not uncommon.

If you are genuinely not familiar with that kind of personality type (where everything is about them) then this discussion is a bit moot tbh.

I don't understand your conflation with posts on relationship boards about standing up for yourself/ being a martyr. That is mixing it up with things that are nothing to do with this thread.

Someone can document every second of their pregnancy on FB if they so desire, but as the purpose of FB is to read others' posts and for them to read yours, (it's not a journal) you are also wanting others to share. If you go on about anything in great and self-absorbed detail, you simply can't expect everyone else around you to be interested in every bit, or feel entitled to be aggrieved if a scan picture isn't 'liked'.

I can't understand why I should have to be so understanding of such self-centred behaviour. And yet I am. I mostly always smile and nod and tolerate it. But I do recognise the behaviour for what it is - not empowering of women but solipsistic of person.

[Invictus72]

No sorry girl's!
The first woman to ever give birth is my sister lol
Younger sister of course
I've teenagers but never denied them Chocolate in moderation
But when i tried to give my sisters children some as a treat my head was bitten off me grrrrr
She believes in rice cakes,fruit and no sugar
Turns out her kids are little brats and mine were angels,haha

[Namechangeemergency]

oven there is no way that everyone moaned about on this thread is the sort of person you describe and there is no way that every poster moaning would know them well enough to be able to gauge their personality.

It could be that some of the posters on this thread resent other women banging on about their pregnancies because its not about them

There are mean posts on this thread and the general tone is unpleasant.
There is also quite a lot of ignorance about how pregnancy affects different women.

Physical and mental issue vary widely in women and pregnancies. The first is bound to be a massive shock to many.

If a woman can't be obsessed with what is happening to her during the biggest change her body will probably ever experience I don't know when she can

MN has form for labeling women selfish, obsessive, controlling etc if they dare to express strong preferences about their pregnancies, births, newborns, weddings or pretty much anything.
Yet on the relationship boards women are told to stand up for themselves, stop being martyrs, don't indulge their partners or parents .......

So what if someone documents every second of their pregnancy on FB? How on earth does it impact anyone else?

Its ironic to be annoyed at someone for moaning about something as massive as pregnancy whilst simultaneously moaning about something as trivial as an acquaintance posting on FB

[User1234567891011]

Thanks ovenchips you've hit the nail on the head.

[manicmij]

I suffered from sickness day and night for the whole term of both pregnancies, second one with twins. I felt so unwell I didn't have the energy to complain. This person needs to realise there are loads of other pregnant folk out in the world with a whole lot worse symptoms some life threatening to either the woman or child or both. Tell her, only when she has been declared to have some devastating condition will you listen to her complaints and (unless you are medically qualified)you are not the one she should be telling. Hopefully will shut her up.

[ovenchips]

I don't get the people on this thread who think it is being mean.

Have you never come across this kind of solipsistic person? They aren't having a particularly difficult pregnancy/ having a straightforward pregnancy but deserving a bit of sympathy. They are completely caught up in themselves and think that everything they are experiencing is innately interesting to others, purely by virtue of them experiencing it. It's all about them.

In this example it's a pregnancy, but could easily be their wedding/ any other life event. They genuinely think, even though they are experiencing/ enjoying/ not enjoying a life event millions of others have, it is more special and better because it is happening to them. And that others will then naturally be very interested because it's them.

It's a v unpleasant personality type who is like this and certainly not the majority of people who make reference to their pregnancy.

So no it is not mean, in fact people are mostly kinder to them than they actually deserve and put up with the constant self-referencing.

[alwayshappy101]

I once worked in a corner shop with one.she actually refused to lift any goods into the store.I could understand with heavy goods,but this one wouldn't even lift a very light box of crisps because she was pregnant

[Owllady]

This thread is in The Sun

[User1234567891011]

5moreminutes That is very true haha!

[5moreminutes]

User you wouldn't be the first (by a long shot) to do the #lovemybaby#feelingblessed hashtag along with a picture of your dog - you'd be in the minority doing it ironically though...

[User1234567891011]

I did unfollow her like I said, glad I figured out how to do it! Its making me laugh to see the situations you've all been in yourselves. I'm sorely tempted to upload a picture of my dog with ''Love my baby #feelingblessed

But...I still have to see her in work. Like I said on a previous post. She said she couldn't work near the window as she ''and the baby would get cold''.

[RandomName9]

This sounds like my sister... she's always been a huge drama queen anyway (sore throat maybe cancer/backache must have slipped a disc etc etc). She has had more scans X-rays & tests than everyone I know put together yet has never actually had anything wrong with her even a broken bone! Anyway she fell pregnant by accident with then 9month boyfriend, I already had a son, married, together 6 years & found out I was pregnant. She told the whole family I deliberately got pregnant to "steal her thunder" & didn't speak to me for a while!! Everything & anything that I said was invalid, if I got baby a coat I should have got the better more expensive version she got etc etc. All very tiring!! Fast forward to her 2nd baby & me & mum tried to arrange a baby shower for her. Her partner couldn't afford the place she wanted so she threw a strop told us to cancel everything & didn't speak to us for 3 months!! Some people are really only interested in themselves & what's happening in their lives!

[MauiWest]

what a mean and horrible person you sound. If they bother you, block on facebook and avoid in person. People moaning about others behind their back are worst than the actual moaners.