Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let my 16 year old go on a weekend away with 2 mates?

59 replies

Awks · 07/11/2016 11:53

My daughter is 16 and her and 2 of her friends want to go to Edinburgh for the weekend on their own. They all went to a festival this summer (but were loosely supervised by an adult). Now they want a bit more freedom.

She is pretty sensible but is just so young (her mates are 17, she's a younger one in the school year).

Letting go is so bleedin hard. I sort of know that I am BU but would you let her go?

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 07/11/2016 11:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dontcallmethatyoucunt · 07/11/2016 11:56

I went to France at that age. I'd let her

baconandeggies · 07/11/2016 11:57

Yes - she'll love it, and she'll appreciate your trust in her. Keep in regular contact and make sure of their plans etc. At 16 I was away to America on my own.

500internalerror · 07/11/2016 11:59

At 16, I had a week away with a friend to celebrate the end of exams. By 17, I'd left home. Let her go.

TheNaze73 · 07/11/2016 11:59

I went to Ibiza for 2 weeks at that age. I would have no problem with this

Sparlklesilverglitter · 07/11/2016 12:01

At 16 can you actually stop her? She is turning in to a young woman so I think you would be unreasonable not to let her go

They need freedom to grow up! It's Edinburgh anyway not the other side of the world

Yoarchie · 07/11/2016 12:03

How sensible are the three of them?

Seeline · 07/11/2016 12:03

How far from home is Edinburgh?
How long will she actually be away?
Where will they stay?
What do they want to do there?

Hastalapasta · 07/11/2016 12:06

As cities go Edinburgh is pretty safe. I was traveling on my own at 16, and had left home. Let her go, she will love it and thank you for it.

DixieWishbone · 07/11/2016 12:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AndNowItsSeven · 07/11/2016 12:08

16 and year 12 which she must be if her friends are 17 then yes. 16 and year 11, no.

EatTheCake · 07/11/2016 12:09

It is hard to let go but you have no choice. She is turning in to a young woman OP

Give her the freedom to go, let her know you trust her.

Edinburgh is lovely

Lucyneedssleep · 07/11/2016 12:09

Would depend how sensible they are really but even if they aren't not sure you can stop her really, I had my own flat at 16 and went to Ibiza for a week at 17.

SmilingButClueless · 07/11/2016 12:12

If they are all under 18, then they might find it difficult to find somewhere to stay. I don't know whether Scotland is different? Other than that, though, I'd let her go.

Coffee3 · 07/11/2016 12:14

I'd let her but give her the information needed to keep herself safe. E.g. If she gets lost the emergency £20; knowing she can call you anytime for help; details of local hospitals; writing down where she's staying; a knowledge of being wary of drink spiking , safe sex and not wearing expensive jewellery etc
I know that sounds scary but young ppl need to experience life for themselves and a weekend in Edinburgh is likely just the beginning! As long as they have a travel plan and you know where they're staying; ask her to text you each day and trust her. She'll appreciate the trust

TupsNSups · 07/11/2016 12:15

At 16 I had my own home and was a MUM.

Give her some freedom :)

TheProblemOfSusan · 07/11/2016 12:17

I went to Abersoch with some mates at 15 in a sort of loosely supervised fashion. Also there's only so much trouble you can get into in Abersoch. It was a really great experience for learning how to go on hols and be responsible.

Edinburgh is a bit different but I reckon at her age not too bad. Can you arrange specific checks in times with her? Eg a message at breakfast, quick chat at lunch, message before bed?

If that was a condition of going and extension of trust it might work, not sure if I mightve found it a bit clingy or not. But then we only had payphones and had to walk there up hill both ways, etc etc.

Chiliprepper · 07/11/2016 12:21

I would let her (assuming she is generally a sensible 16). Where will they stay? I would make sure the hotel/hostel allows under 18s to check in- most will, but many won't.

Mindtrope · 07/11/2016 12:31

I would let her go. Edinburgh is a very safe city.

KC225 · 07/11/2016 13:03

Aside from the 'letting go' thing, you know her better than us. Is she sensible? What are the mates like?

EasterRobin · 07/11/2016 13:11

That's a nice small trip for her to learn from. Make sure they are staying somewhere suitable, won't separate when they are out, and know what to do if things go wrong. Then stay awake all weekend worrying because you're a mum.

hellsbells99 · 07/11/2016 13:15

I wouldn't have a problem with this. 16/17 year olds are way more sensible than a lot of 18 year olds because then alcohol and clubs become involved!
My DD went to London at a similar age. They stayed in a hostel. I confirmed the booking to ensure no problems - they had to stay in a private room and not a dorm.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 07/11/2016 13:16

I think YABU - she'll be off to uni next year!

BestZebbie · 07/11/2016 13:24

I went to Berlin for the weekend with one friend at that age, and Amsterdam the year after (then left home, still aged 17). They will be fine in Edinburgh.

noeffingidea · 07/11/2016 13:29

I'd let her go, assuming she doesn't have any kind of special needs. I tend to see 16 year olds as young adults rather than children. It's the way I was brought up in the 70's.