to feel annoyance when my childless colleagues keep saying how tired they are?

[sandyballs]

They don't know the meaning of the word

[ratclare]

i would of thought if your tired you are tired regardless of why ,children or not

[AitchTwoOh]

i've realised why i'm so baffled and irritated by this thread...

when i was coming round from the operation that took away my second ectopic pregnancy and my fallopian tube the nurse asked me if i'd enjoyed my christmas (it was NYE by now) and i said 'well, yes, i thought i was pregnant and was hopeful that i'd get to keep this one'.

the nurse said, 'well, you wouldn't be saying that if you knew what it was like - you never get a good night's sleep again. they're more trouble than they're worth'.

and i cried and cried and cried and cried.

and then, when i had recovered a little, i complained to her supervisor and got her a reprimand, the stupid thoughtless bitch.

and i'm sorry but all this whinging about not sleeping just really reminds me of her. tiredness is terrible but really, some people don't know when they're lucky.

[ScottishThistle]

Countess Dracula I'm with you there...I had Glandular fever whilst in the last 3 months of my NNEB course & I Babysat 4 children (ages 6mths, 18mths, 3 & 5) 4 evenings after college...I was dead on my feet!

[OrmIrian]

aitch - so sorry to hear about your loss and i can understand how you must resent all this whingeing but I really don't think it's altogether serious - just a lighthearted moan. Isn't it?

I also have to say that over the last 10 years there have beeb times I have been so tired that I haven't been able to focus, I've had endless migraines, I start to shake and cry at the end of the day. At one point I walked in and resigned from my job in tears because I simply couldn't take it anymore - something that was financial suicide at the time (my boss talked me round and was very understanding thank goodness). So tiredness can be a real problem and not just pointless complaining. But no, given the choice between a year of sleep and my children and no sleep I'd obviously take the children every time [sleep].

[GREATBIGSLOPPYKISSassangel]

are non-parents allowed to moan about tiredness if they've been doing extra work for Charity ?

[AitchTwoOh]

pmsl kickassangel...
and thanks for the empathy, ormrian... seriously. but maybe i didn't make it clear that the woman who said that to me was being funny too, so i suppose my point is only that we shouldn't assume that childless friends want to be childless. i know it's light-hearted but it actually quite got to me. doesn't sound like i've ever been as tired as you, though...

[ValenPann]

yes, you are being unreasonable, IMO.

Can I whiff the smell of burning martyr?


There is no 'hierarchy' of the deserving v. undesreving tiredness. Also, energy is usually expended in a way, whatever that is, to take up one's resources at the time. (like PArkinson's Law of work expanding to fill the time allowed for it's completion). And, people have differing levels of tiredness threshold. And I am unaware of childless people berating with-childs for their tiredness levels, they make suitable allowances IME. And peeps do LOTS of other things that bring tiredness on. And, tiredness is often a state of mind, soo, if one feels overwhelmed, it is pretty insensitive to come along and say "you have no right to feel that way".


just a brief response. No more. too tired..

[ValenPann]

and btw, man flu DOES count. 'Tis a devastating illness, which most posters, thankfully, will never experience.....








how far into this cheek will this tongue go???

[Caligula]

"energy is usually expended in a way, whatever that is, to take up one's resources at the time. (like PArkinson's Law of work expanding to fill the time allowed for it's completion"

I think there's something in that. I am going to be very smug now and share with you that I am not half so tired now at 40 with two children, as I was in my twenties when childless. And I think that's something to do with being able to cope with tiredness now. I used to be paranoid about it, desperately trying to get to bed before 10am and feeling really stressed if I was still awake at 11am and then waking up tired. I'm not sure if I feel any less tired now, but I know that it just doesn't bother me as much, I suppose I know that I can still function at a low level even when I'm tired.

[meowmix]

yeah my PA does this, in her case its because she has a overwhelmingly pathetic bf who she does everything for, and she's constantly telling me how she's tired, didn't sleep, has no time to do anything, in between her lengthyy personal calls and 1 hour break that just slips into 3 by the time I have time to notice. She tells me she doesn't know how I manage - neither do I but so far I haven't flushed her head down the loo, stapled her tongue to the desk or bludgeoned her with the coffee pot.

Ignore me. 80 hour weeks, 3 year old, DH with housework blindness and early pgnancy, longhaul flight on Saturday, visitors staying. I'm a delight to be with today.

[Pann]

"DH with housework blindness and early pgnancy"

[meowmix]

oops. no that would suggest hitherto unseen levels of multitasking from dh. I have the early pg he has the housework blindness.

[walks off muttering about smart alec ValenPan...)

[HermioneWeasley]

YABU to be annoyed. Having kids is a choice and is famously tiring. You don’t know about other peoples lives, demands, health etc and don’t get to be annoyed that they have tiredness that might or might not be self inflicted

[LovelyBitOfSquirrel69]

You could say that I'm childless as my 'child' has left home. But I'm a menopausal insomniac and never sleep well. So yeah, you don't know people's circumstances.

(And yes, you did choose to have them so stop whining).

[RFPO77]

@sandyballs

They don't know the meaning of the word

People who don't have kids are allowed to be tired. It's a bit patronising to assume if you don't have kids you don't know the meaning of the word. I have plenty of childless friends in the NHS for example who know exactly how it feels to be exhausted and run on little sleep. A number of childless friends who are carers for patent. You honestly need to get over yourself.

[JeniferAllisonPhillipaSue]

ZOMBIE

[Peoniesandcream]

Over 10 years old people!

[endlesscraziness]

As someone who's always struggled with insomnia and have worked block nights in the past; yes I knew exhausted before kids 🤷🏽‍♀️

[MyRiverThee]

I reckon I got more sleep with kids than without. When we didn’t have children, we were always out late, travelling or doing something. It’s not just kids that result in lack of sleep. Going out is a choice, having kids is a choice, deal with it. But you don’t get to own being tired just because you have children.

[strawberrysea]

@sandyballs

They don't know the meaning of the word

Of course YABU.
I absolutely cannot stand this victim complex mindset that some parents have.
Everyone gets tired, it's really not a competition.

[theemmadilemma]

It's not a competition. Parents don't have a monopoly on tiredness.

It's absolutely relative.

It's an expected by product of child raising.

[KatherineJaneway]

ZOMBIE

This thread is over 15 years old

[SallyWD]

I have one friend who's single, works part time, has no children yet she seems incapable of running her life, keeping on top of her laundry (one person!), shopping, cooking etc. She's always saying she's exhausted and has no time.
Still I remember complaining about being exhausted before I had children so I suppose I can't complain.

[TinaTeaspoons]

Parents don't have the monopoly on tiredness.
My sister has 2 autoimmune diseases and is constantly tired. Apparently chronic fatigue tiredness is on another level. DH has same conditions and seen the same effects. He is a father now but struggled before as well.
It's shortsighted to say only parents are allowed to be tired.