To ask for you to talk to me about exercise

[rainyinnovember]

I am fat.

I was A Nice Size until Dc1 then put on weight and thought I was huuuuuuge.

I lost it. Then it slowly went on after DC2. By the time I had DC3 I was pretty fat. Now I'm really, properly fat.

I've committed to lose it (long story which I won't go into but I've just been told off by my own child ) but I'm wondering about exercise.

The problems are, firstly I am big enough for exercise to hurt a bit. I don't mean normal aches and pains but actually 'shit, ow, I can't move.'

I hate swimming. Don't mind the sea or lakes or rivers but bobbing up and down in a pool is not for me. And you get wet. And cold. And hungry.

I can't run, I really can't. Even when I was quite young and healthy and energetic I couldn't run.

So, any ideas people? Not Zumba or aerobics ... I'm as coordinated as a seal on ice and as flexible as a paving slab so yoga/Pilates are out.

I go to a dance class. I go because I like dancing, but I also go because I've made friends there. It's the social aspect for me! We keep in touch and check which classes we're going to that week. We celebrate good stuff - weight loss,,engagements, birthdays, and commiserate the bad stuff - divorces, etc etc.

There are some very large ladies that go - and I'm no skinny Minnie either. (Size 16 on a good day, 18 on a bad) We all just get on and dance our stresses away. Some people have great rhythm, and others don't. It doesn't matter.

Nice chat? TICK
Bit of a Boogie? TICK
A chance to de stress? TICK

It's become part of my weekly routine. It also helps that it's on a sprung dance floor, so minimises joint problems.

I think you need to explore different options and see which you enjoy. It could help with your overall negativity

OP you sound like me... But eg if you walk fast eg 30 minutes no stopping so you're slightly out of breath as you walk, if you do that twice a day for 2 weeks you'll see results. Especially if you cut out the snacks and eat cleanly. You do not have to cut out carbs just reduce portion size, fat and sugar. Replace chocolate with fruit. If you really want to allow yourself a snack or treat once or twice a day eg 2 finger kit Kat or small glass white wine. Otherwise nothing bad. Drink water if you feel hungry as we can mistake hunger for thirst.

OP also years ago I went to the gym, had a brief 'induction' and show around, the instructor asked me what would I do normally at that time of day and I answered normally "watch eastenders!", I personally did not suit gyms, I've tried but prefer classes but no one is forcing you to do anything you don't want to do!

I go to a Clubbercise class, it's just dance but it's in the dark so no one can see when I do the wrong moves/go the wrong way/fall over my own feet. I love it & I mentioned it to a friend of mine who said it gives you 14 extra points on WW (this is more than an other activity apparently). It burns fat really quickly & it's fun. There's loads of classes try googling - good luck with your weight loss.

Exercise doesn't get easier you just get faster, better, able to lift heavier weights etc.
You will need to get out of breath, it will hurt, you will be sweaty, uncomfortable and yes possibly a little peckish afterwards but it is the ONLY way for exercise to work .
I'm up now just about to go for a run, it's cold outside and dark, I'd much rather be in bed but I have high cholesterol and a family history of heart disease so I'm going to run for my health.
It becomes like brushing your teeth , second nature and necessary.
It doesn't matter what exercise you do, get sweaty and get stuck in.
Good luck X

There's nothing wrong with eating after swimming. It's what you eat. Also what you eat the rest of the time.

You can add more walking to your day. Get a fit bit or something and walk 10.000 steps a day.

You need to accept that it will require some effort to make a change. You said in the OP about your child making a comment about your weight, is that right?

If that's the spur you need then you need to tell someone's in RL that you're going to get fitter and then make it happen.

I get the sense that you're holding back because it is daunting. I think telling someone in RL is the way to make it real.

Get a kettlebell and look up a couple of circuits online. 20 minutes with a good sized kettlebell 3 to 4 times a week and a brisk walk with the dog everyday, and you're making an excellent start, and you will feel yourself getting fitter.

I like the kettlebells because it can combine weights with cardio (the kettlebell swings are amazing) and swinging a big old weight around is kind of fun. Plus, you can do it at home.

I'm not sure what you want us to say. We have all suggested loads of different types of exercise and you have an excuse for all of them. None of us are born good at a sport (well maybe a few lucky ones are!). You need to work at something to become better at it and enjoy it.
Exercise has so many benefits and your confidence would soar and you'd feel great about yourself.
Speak to the doctor about which exercise he would recommend for a lady of your size. There really is an exercise to suit everybody.
I really wouldn't suggest turning up at parkrun and walking the whole way from the start. The volunteers give up their free time to help at parkrun and wouldn't be too impressed at someone not even attempting to run a bit of it.
Good luck!

When I started I was 7 stone overweight. I have arthritis in both knees and knee replacements were being discussed. I also had high blood pressure and blood sugar - I was 29.

I started off with doing the wii fit, I did it every day - for the first few weeks 10 minutes of that and I was exhausted. But over time I got better and better. A friend then suggested I ran - I laughed at him. But then I thought about it and gave it a go, my first runs involved very little running but again I got better over time - today I am going on a 10k "social" run, I know chances are I will be the slowest but I don't care!

I am now a Normal weight and my knees are better than ever. It hasn't been easy but for the benefits it has been more than worthwhile.

I go to the gym now too - I have tried classes there that after a few I don't like so I have changed to something else as nobody is going to like everything!

To make real changes you have to turn your can't into cans.

Have been doing the lean in 15 body coach book with Dh. I eat the meals but don't do the exercises and lost 6lb in 4 weeks, dh has been doing the exercises, 15 min daily and has lost a stone. The food is really good too!

I am uncoordinated and hate exercise too.

My breakthrough was gritting my teeth through a workout one day and thinking "god, I really don't enjoy this AT ALL" and then still getting the happy hormones in the shower after. (Oh! It's okay if I hate working out!)

If you're holding out for exercise that you enjoy while you are doing it, you might never find it. But if you lower the bar to something you can comfortably do even though you are less than thrilled all the way through the workout, you might be more successful. The happy hormones are really nice!

Have you seen the 7 minute workout? It's something you can do at home and you can do it every day, it's only 7 minutes and you can build up the reps as you get stronger.

Otherwise, for low impact on joints: exercise bike or cross trainer (the thingy that looks like you are skiing). Don't just focus on cardio, it's weights/resistance training that help people lose fat (muscle burns calories more than other body tissue, so building up your muscles means your body needs to break down fat tissue just to keep you ticking over)

I don't get happy hormones, never do TBH.

Anyway no worries. Might be best to move on now? :)

Aww, that's a shame. Some people don't.

Walking, over different terrains if possible, is a good start! You can start at your own pace the build up to moving faster or over longer distance. HIIT is great, very good for your metabolism - could you find a beginner class or one where the instructor can show you low-impact exercise versions? Classes tend to be short too. I use a website called Fitness Blender and work out from home - it's brilliant. It's free and the couple that do it are very knowledgeable. There's a myriad of workouts, all different durations and levels incl HIIT and strength training ( which is also important for health and weight loss). I think the key is start small and slow so you can find something you enjoy, then you'll commit to it and build up your stamina. Good luck!

@RainyInNov:

Don't answer this if you don't want to. Do you binge eat?
It can take yrs to develop a bad relationship with food & yrs to (kind of sort of maybe) fix it. Some people need a 3-prong approach, to change: physical activity habits, diet habits, and emotional relationship with food.

To get started it might be worth starting with YouTube videos. I've been following Lucy Wyndham-Read as she does 4 minute work outs that are for any ability. She seems to be doing monthly challenges atm too & as they're literally a few minutes long it's not too difficult to fit them in the day. You don't need any extra equipment either which is a bonus

I agree with Sirzy a good friend of mine did the Wii fit and walked more. She also had to change her diet as she's a diabetic (not the insulin type), she has worked into being fitter and healthier.

Exercise isn't the best way to loose wight. Exercise makes you hungry. Its mainly diet, then introduce more exercise into your lifestyle.

Eat less, try and be a bit more active e.g. walking more. Then when you have started to loose weight do something for fun - maybe you'll like spinning, maybe swimming, maybe a boxing class, maybe weights.

Weights. Wightlifting changed my life. And my figure!

Start reading around NerdFitness for their Basic Newbie Workout, try that out, then the better you get, the heavier weights you'll want to try to keep putting the effort in.

In my opinion you really need to clear your mind of "can't". All you say in this post is "it sounds nice, but I can't", "I'd love to, but I really can't". All I read from you is "I can't". Stop that or nothing will change. You can. Believe in yourself. Take baby steps, go on your own pace, but go. You CAN do it.

I took up bodypump in the summer because I was fed up with my size. I'm making steady slow progress on weight loss but it's really changing my shape. It takes time and hard work but it's worth it. I'm delighted! Using my fitness pal app helped me be more realistic about my calorie intake too which also helped.

If you like ice skating, what about roller derby? Probably the most all-inclusive sport in the world, and you start very slowly. Levels the playing field for everyone because even the fittest people have to get used to the skates. You don't have to go in for the full contact side if you don't want to.

My team range from age18-60 and from a size 6 to a size 28. Actually being on the larger side is a definite bonus for a roller derby player!

Can't recommend this sport highly enough!

yy to Body pump. But start with very low weights and don't worry if it takes a few sessions to get all the techniques right.

Walk Parkrun.

Some gentle yoga / pilates to help your posture and balance.

Go power walking. I have lost 4 stone since March this year with a combination of walking and watching my food/calorie intake.

Less stress on the joints and you burn just as much as you would do by running.

Get a fitness band (I started with a cheap band) and set yourself daily targets. It really helps.