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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that not wearing a poppy counting as a uniform disciplinary issue is wrong?

193 replies

Bogeyface · 04/11/2016 23:18

DD's school have said this, and yes I have checked with the school.

Dont get me wrong, no issue personally with poppies. However I dont think that the school can insist on pupils wearing a poppy to the point that they can be put into isolation for not wearing one, can they?

A poppy is an act of remembrance and if a person has no reason to wear one, or prefers not to, then how is that any of the schools business? I dont wear one, but I buy 2 crosses every year for my grandfathers graves who both fought and suffered horribly during WWII. I remember, I just dont wear a poppy.

DD has chosen to wear one, but says that most of her peers wear them because they have to, not because they care. There have been no assemblies or lessons about why poppies are worn and what the represent so she thinks that in the main this rule is pointless.

OP posts:
HarmlessChap · 05/11/2016 11:21

No matter how worthy they may consider the cause, it is outrageous that a school should decide that you (via your child) must make a donation to a charity of their choosing.

Creatureofthenight · 05/11/2016 11:24

That is ridiculous.

insan1tyscartching · 05/11/2016 11:53

Dd's school is expected to wear a poppy for Remembrance Day. There are no sanctions as such but your child needs to be able to explain their reason for not wearing one.
Ds and dd work for Local Government and they are required to wear one from November 1st.

Enkopkaffetak · 05/11/2016 14:16

but your child needs to be able to explain their reason for not wearing one.

I sincerely hope that "Because I don't wish to" would be enough of an explanation.

CheerfullyIndifferent · 05/11/2016 14:35

I hate the sparkley/knitted ones that give no money to the RBL.

I wear a sparkly one, I bought it from the RBL online shop. Hmm

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 05/11/2016 14:45

It's a symbol of remembrance. That's all it is. Nothing else. And quite frankly I''m pig sick of people making it in to something it's not.

The problem is it has been hijacked by political groups, not least the UK government. This is why I don't wear a poppy anymore. However I still take the time to remember and donate.

NotYoda · 05/11/2016 14:52

Maybe write on a sticker "This month I donated to a homeless charity / visited my grandfather's grave/ went to church . Happy? " and stick it on their jumper.

WLF46 · 05/11/2016 15:00

We are at the point where not wearing one is seen as making a statement or protest.

Personally I have worn one in the past, but am refusing to this year in protest at them being changed to "stick on" ones rather than the traditional ones you put in your buttonhole or pinned on. It is a shameful money-grabbing exercise, trying to embarrass people into purchasing multiple poppies in the event that they like to change their clothes each day.

But to answer the post, yes it is fair enough to force children to buy and wear one. School is not about children making a protest, it is about education and development, so they should be forced to wear one AND learn about the symbolism and meaning of them.

randomer · 05/11/2016 15:03

I'm sorry but I don't get compulsory poppies.
WW1 millions of young conscripts killed..,tragic
not the same as someone who joins the armed forces as a career choice, fully aware of what they are doing.

user1471493472 · 05/11/2016 17:04

Er, no one fought for freedim in World War 1. It was an imperialist war.

Frankly I'm shocked that poppy shaming has become a thing. It's so fascist.

user1471493472 · 05/11/2016 17:04

*freedom

UncontrolledImmigrant · 05/11/2016 17:10

no child of mine is ever going to be forced to donate money to a charity that provides support to personnel who may actually have dropped bombs on their family during some of this country's military interventions

I will not disrespect anyone who chooses to do so, or disparage them, or begrudge them but ffs allow me to refuse

allegretto · 05/11/2016 17:13

I have always worn a poppy but won't be this year as I hate the attitude around them now. I am still making a donation but this poppy shaming goes against everything the poppy stands for.

CrowyMcCrowFace · 05/11/2016 17:21

I seem to recall in our last World War, it was t'other chaps who liked compulsory badges.

I don't wear one. Have no issues with anyone who does. But would take vocal umbrage to this.

SukeyTakeItOffAgain · 05/11/2016 17:30

Jon Snow expressed it perfectly.

The thing that irks me about the BBC's stance is that they only seem to take it for fear of offending people, not because they're genuinely remembering those who died in conflict. It's as though some PR people in an office sighed heavily and said "Well we could do without that hassle. Better make EVERYONE who appears on screen wear one." How is that remembrance? And how does anyone know from whether I have a paper flower attached to my coat how much I respect/don't respect. It's insane.

I will not be wearing a poppy this year. People died in the name of freedom.

SukeyTakeItOffAgain · 05/11/2016 17:33

user I believe that recent revisionist historians have said that actually Germany was far more of an aggressor and we more at risk from them than was accepted in the 60s etc. "Imperialist war" and "lions led by donkeys" could be a real simplification!

Anyway....

Rinceoir · 05/11/2016 18:23

I don't think anyone should be expected to wear a poppy (no matter what their reasons for not wearing one!). It should of course be personal choice.

I choose not to wear one, it has been commented on in my workplace which irritated me. I would wear one if it was truly an international symbol of remembrance; but the funds raised go to the British Legion which supports on British veterans (which is fine, but it's not actually supporting those injured in war internationally).

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 05/11/2016 18:34

but it's not actually supporting those injured in war internationally

It's the British legion.

user1471493472 · 05/11/2016 18:45

Sorry Sukey, I disagree. The British Empire was hardly a shrinking violet in 1914. All those poor working class men who died as cannon fodder (or be shot as shirkers), not to mention the colonials (white and brown) too. But the arms manufacturers benefited!

Remembrance is always couched with "the glorious dead" rhetoric. Until it comes with a message of regret and pacifism I won't be wearing any poppies.

MrsBernardBlack · 05/11/2016 18:49

I'm sure this has already been said several times, but it is contrary to everything the poppy represents to force people to wear one.

CrotchetQuaverMinim · 05/11/2016 18:50

I also don't think it's right that they should be forced to wear one, or to give any kind of explanation why not. Their beliefs don't even need to come in to it - it's not like they need to be conscientious objectors for something otherwise required.

Teach they what the poppy represents, and encourage them to donate and wear one if they want.

I am told I have to wear one for a performance we always do around that time of year. It's not specifically for Remembrance though. But poppies are required. I'm not sure why or what they'd do if anyone refused; I don't mind enough to make a fuss about it, but it does irk me a bit, kind of like we're just being politically correct for the sake of it to make the organisation look good, and so that we all match nicely, which seems a rubbish reason. I would be highly unpopular to say anything about it, and it's a hassle I don't need right now, so I won't, but it doesn't mean I don't think it is a bit hypocritical. The rest of the time, I often do choose to wear one, but sometimes it's fallen off, on another coat, etc.

Rinceoir · 05/11/2016 18:51

Yes Piglet and I'm fine with that. But I'm frequently told by colleagues that it's for all those injured in war, whereas in reality it isn't. I don't have any issue with the RBL fundraising, it's just not a charity I personally choose to contribute to. I don't like being made to feel like I'm making a statement by not wearing one.

SukeyTakeItOffAgain · 05/11/2016 18:52

That's fine, I actually agree with you re poppy wearing.. I've already said I wont be wearing a poppy this year because of this ludicrous poppy shaming. Read the first post I wrote.

I was just putting it out there. Britain couldn't have rolled over in 1914 - it was unthinkable by the standards of the time, which were terrible of course.

user1471493472 · 05/11/2016 18:53

most of the wars fought by Britain have been to challenge or take down groups whose ideologies forced people do do things... It's almost an Orwellian farce.

Actually Sukey this is the revisionist history we've been experiencing more recently, thanks to Murdoch's media reconstructions of the War. Completely ahistorical and ignoring the frontier wars fought for land in the colonisation of Australia, Pacific, America, Asia, Africa. Not about freedom.

World War 2, yes about freedom. None of the others.

SukeyTakeItOffAgain · 05/11/2016 19:02

Do you think that soldiers join up in the name of freedom? (WWII aside)

Loads of men will have volunteered in 1914 to give the Boche a jolly good lesson in the name of King and Empire, but again it's just the standards of the time, isn't it, and then there was enlistment.

Why do people join the forces today?

All very complex.