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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about the dog in the shoe shop

277 replies

GreatDaneBowers · 04/11/2016 21:55

NC because identifying.

In my town there is a kids shoe shop that also does haircuts for children. It's not a big shop, quite narrow.

Today I went in there for the 3rd or 4th time with my DD. And the owner/manager had her dog in there. A Great Dane. I'm not short and it easily stood ears level with my shoulder.

The dog blocked off the whole shop and stuck its nose in the pram, she made no attempt to call it off or ask me if it was a problem. I'm not scared of dogs but I'm not exactly confident of them either and this animal is beyond huge. I left pretty quickly (was going to browse and buy DD some shoes but didn't).

I don't know how regularly it is in there (I've not seen it in there before, but fairly regularly I'd say as it had been lying on the sofa in the hair cutting area, and had a blanket in the entrance), but AIBU to think that you don't want a dog that big just mooching around a shop that you have to take small children into? (Because haircuts and shoes require DCs to be present).

Obviously the blanket in the entrance is to signal that the dog is in there and I suppose people can vote with their feet if they don't like it (which I did). And I'm sure it's a lovely dog, but lots of children (and adults) are scared of dogs and even the most docile dogs could have an accident or snap, and this one is as big as a small horse!

OP posts:
Booboostwo · 05/11/2016 18:00

Simply saying that you know of an incident where those present failed to read the dog's signs does not prove that all dog behavior is unpredictable. Are you seriously saying that all dogs randomly do stuff for reasons that are entirely unknown even to people who study animals?

The omnivorous argument isn't even internally consistent. An omnivorous hunter tends to attack to kill and eat, he doesn't attack randomly. There would be no evolutionary benefit to being randomnly aggressive nor to injuring but not killing and eating prey. Aside from the little issue of domestication...

WackyWalrus · 05/11/2016 18:01

Are you in Edinburgh /Stockbridge OP or are there two places that sell kids shoes and do haircuts?

It didn't occur to me before it would be seen as an odd combination!

Aeroflotgirl · 05/11/2016 18:02

Exactly, responsible dog owners will totally understand, and will know this.

Greenifer · 05/11/2016 18:04

I wouldn't shop somewhere if I had to interact with a dog in order to do so. Dog sleeping behind counter or otherwise out of my way, totally OK. Dog in the actual shop area sticking its nose in a pram or in my way, no thanks. I would take my money elsewhere.

I am not scared of dogs at all. I just don't really like them. And yes, they do smell horrible unless you live with one and are inured to it.

merrymouse · 05/11/2016 18:06

Are you seriously saying that all dogs randomly do stuff for reasons that are entirely unknown even to people who study animals?

People who study animals are good at predicting behaviour.

Unfortunately, a dog in a shop has to cope with anybody who walks through the door.

Arfarfanarf · 05/11/2016 18:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FatOldBag · 05/11/2016 18:09

YABU, what a fab shop. I'd be in there all the time - so many shoes and haircuts! I love a shop dog, and great danes are lovely.

Mummyoflittledragon · 05/11/2016 18:10

Booboo. There were no signs. As I said. The dog was lying down and being stroked by the owner and gently patted on the belly by dd 15 months. The room was calm and silent. The dog moved its head up in a flash, bit dd and lay straight back down. No aggression. The dog saw nothing wron in its actions and was perfectly content to receive continued strokes from the owner until dd screamed moments later. The movement was monumentally fast and I actually thought it had nuzzled her.

Please tell me which signs I missed?

I have it on good authority that the dog thought itself entitled to bite dd as it saw dd a bit like an annoying puppy. The bite was to tell dd to leave the dog alone.

Aeroflotgirl · 05/11/2016 18:10

Exactly merry, it's a big dog in a confined space, what a child pulls it's ears or accidently steps on its tail, you have no idea how he will react. A dog like any other animal commands respect. A shop that is fir kid so, who can be unpredictable, the owner failing to recall the dog that was sniffing inside the babies pram where it should not be is not responsible. Yes tgat would be worrying, a responsible dog owner woukd have recalled the dog and apologised.

Mummyoflittledragon · 05/11/2016 18:14

Further to my last post, I wasn't that easy with dd being so close to the dog because there is something about it I don't like. I'd never seen it aggressive. Just very passive and incredibly quick moving. But the owner said they would hold of the collar and they didn't think the dog would do anything. In people pleasing mode, I agreed. And as I said, there was no aggression.

brasty · 05/11/2016 18:24

I had an old labrador who would never hurt a child. If there were children around, I had to closely supervise to make sure that the children did not hurt him, as he would do nothing to defend himself.

Original poster
GreatDaneBowers · 05/11/2016 18:35

Tried my best to keep it light, navy.

Just in case anyone is still in doubt. Even though the gigantic dog had head in push chair, at no point was I seriously worried about it injuring me or my DD. In the same way I'm not really worried that a big hairy house spider as big as my hand is going to jump on me and cause me scuttling injuries. I just was intimidated/uncomfortable/mildly phobic so I left, in the same way I will do everything in my power to not be in the same room as said spider.

HOWEVER: the fact that this fear is not uncommon makes it a little odd in a kids shoe shop. As a tank of tarantulas would be.

And when I said "have an accident" I was genuinely wondering what would happen if a dog that size fainted. (Do dogs faint?).

Nowhere near Edinburgh - I'm in East Kent.

I'm sorry some of you or ppl close to you were bitten. I do think it explains why many people are scared of dogs, even though by-and-large(!) they are safe. Like air travel. Safe but scary for many many people. They might be "wrong" but they can't just wish the fear gone because statistics don't stack up.

OP posts:
FerretFred · 05/11/2016 18:38

East Kent? I'm now intrigued! The kids are due a haircut!

Booboostwo · 05/11/2016 19:13

Mummy what you say makes no sense. Adult dogs do not give puncture wounds to puppies that annoy them. Which suggests that you are not very experienced with dogs which makes it all the more likely you missed warning signs.

emma6776 · 05/11/2016 19:24

Was just going to ask if you were in Stockbridge! I would have to start getting dd's hair cut elsewhere as she's terrified of dogs.

Mummyoflittledragon · 05/11/2016 19:36

Booboo Well you can beg to differ. However I am experienced with dogs and am a current dog owner and have been an adult dog owner for over 25 years. Obviously a puppy wouldn't get a puncture wound because it has thicker skin and a furry coat. A babies skin is extremely fragile and thin. Please tell me what warning signs I missed as there were none. No lip licking or tail movement, no body stiffness or barred teeth etc etc. Very very few dogs give no warning signal that they are about to bite. However, there are some, and this was one. As a dog owner, I am very aware of the potential signs of aggression. My old lab moved away when dd got too much and showed no signs of aggression ever. As I said, I never trusted the dog even when they first got it from a rescue centre at 6 months old.

Blackfellpony · 05/11/2016 19:45

I own large breed dogs myself but I don't really think shops are somewhere I would want mine hanging around. Too many things than can go wrong. I wouldnt be able to settle if the dog was mine for worrying about people mishandling them or the dog doing something it shouldn't.

Saying that I proberbly would shop there but wouldn't be interested in the dog, I feel about dogs as I do children- adore my own but couldn't care less about other people's Blush

2kids2dogsnosense · 05/11/2016 19:52

What breed of dog bit you DC, DragonMummy

Some breeds e.g. akitas are apparently very difficult to read.

Otherwise, perhaps the dog had an injury no-one was aware of any your little one accidentally caused distress (no excusing - just trying to work out why).

I firmly believe that no dog bites without reason. Unfortunately sometimes the reason is that the dog is nasty.

Booboostwo · 05/11/2016 20:08

Mummy the thicker skin is not the reason why a puppy wouldn't get a puncture wound, bite inhibition is!

Mummyoflittledragon · 05/11/2016 20:10

Border Collie 2kids. I know they can be very highly strung and have a nip reflex. However, the room was absolute calm. My lab was several meters away dozing off. The dog openly showed aggression to my lab when they first had contact. This situation settled a considerable time before I let dd approach the dog. As I say, I've never been keen on the dog but I was expecting some kind of warning. Border collies don't normally nip unless in a difficult or stimulating environment.

Mummyoflittledragon · 05/11/2016 20:24

Booboo It was a rescue dog. Perhaps the dog was bullied into suppressing warning signs by the previous owner. Bite inhibition is usually learnt early on in puppyhood, isn't it? So perhaps it didn't learn and the current owners would know nothing about it. The only person, who could answer this is the previous owner. It was one tooth mark and did not enter deeply. A babies skin starts to thicken from about a year I think, before this, it's pretty paper thin. Dd was only 1yr 3 months. The bite probably wouldn't have penetrated my skin on my hand for example.

MrsGsnow18 · 05/11/2016 20:26

I'm also thinking shoe shop and hair cuts is a weird combo! (Totally avoiding dog question as i'm dog crazy)

kilmuir · 05/11/2016 20:27

I have a Great Dane.
Take up a lot of room so surprised they have it in a small shop.

Littlepleasures · 05/11/2016 20:44

I love dogs but in my 30s developed an allergy to cat and dog hair which means in an enclosed room with either, my eyes start to get very red and itchy, then start to swell followed by sniffing and wheezing leading to an asthma attack after prolonged contact. I manage it by not staying long where there are animals and definitely not touching them. My friends know I'm not being ignorant by ignoring their pet, not patting their dog etc. One of my friends said her dog was non allergenic but it still had me in the bathroom within five minutes bathing my swollen eyes in cold water. For that reason I'm not a great fan of dogs in shops, pubs etc.

Shona52 · 06/11/2016 17:44

I could see it being really useful to have a dog for children who are scared to get their haircut like my ds who has autism. We are slowing working our way up to a hair cut but after a year of building trips to the hairdresser we still not there. As for getting shoes it 20 mins sitting outside the shop door before I could get him to just go into the shop. Took an hour to get him to have his feet measured try shoes on and pay for them. If there was a dog 🐶 in either these events I could see the result being much better. But it's a personal thing I guess

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