Is this taking the piss?

[Bluegreyblue55]

Name changed so not to out myself!

I'm a project manager, been working on a project for 18months, tight timescales and pressure, public sector.

Have a small team of staff who mainly aren't the greatest team players but are nice people - just not used to working in groups.

I've worked my bollocks off, I mean really worked hard, late nights, weekends, ruined evenings stressing about work etc and I've shielded them from the worst of the pressure always jolly and positive , fair boss.

Took them all out for Xmas last year at my own cost,always buy cakes coffees etc, we delivered our first phase of the project recently and so all good news, I gave each of them a gift and card and took them all out for a meal again at my own cost- drinks food etc.

Even the senior people on the team ( clinicians) I've bought gifts for to thank them for their help etc.

I've had nothing, not a card, not a coffee, flowers nothing at all, I am a generous person and I haven't given these things to recieve anything back but it's actually pissing me off now.

They have seen how hard I have worked and to not even give me a card I think is awful- AIBU?

You are clearly being paid very well if you can afford all that.

If you are the team leader why would they get you something?

Op did they say thank you in person? Many people don't write thank you notes/don't think to if they've already said it.

It's interesting to hear others perspectives, perhaps I'm an unusual boss rewarding my team like that- I think I'll save my money next time

Maybe they see your 'gifts' as acknowledgement or encouragment, not something that needs to be reciprocated. In the public sector wouldn't giving your Manager a thank you card or flowers be seen as a bit toady or try hard. If it bothers you that much, you can stop. Spend the cash on something stress relieving.

I'm not rich lol- the team is small five of us including me and so I see myself as part of the team as well as the manager, I suppose you're right I shouldn't expect a card etc, I suppose I just though that the four of them could get me something between them!

I'd expect to go to work and get paid, end of story. The boss takes us out, great bonus. Wouldn't think of buying the boss a gift for 'working hard'

I don't know , nothing at Xmas either - I just think it's weird lol it must be me!

I haven't given these things to recieve anything back

I suppose I just though that the four of them could get me something between them!

Which is it?

Not even a card or a coffee- Really?

A card for hitting a target at work?

Really?

Christ - and I thought "Congratulations on Passing Your Driving Test" cards were taking the piss!

are they appreciative of your gifts? I think that they're probably seeing you as the boss and that this is what you do - maybe stop doing it and find another way of showing appreciation

I would never expect anything from my team except a thank-you.

Try not to feel down or take it personally. They've probably told everyone they know that you're an amazing boss! I would! I don't think it would occur to most people, or not be seen as the done thing.

Wicked, I suppose I think it's good manners if someone has been supportive and understanding and recognised your hard work, to say thank you in some way, a card, coffee, Kikat anything

I'm former public sector. It would never in a million years cross my mind to buy anyone anything for doing their job. If someone did me a massive favour, then yes - but not for meeting objectives.

Are you a permanent member of staff OP? Or are you a contractor or consultant?

Milk an 18month in the making target hours of work and massive transformation change - a huge achievement for all of us hence my appreciation

I buy gifts for my team at christmas, but frankly I feel awkward if they buy anything back.

You could expect something, such as some kind words, card and/or present when you leave, probably organised by your boss or possibly your team. Rarely before, in my experience. As an employee, I would be appreciative of cakes for a meeting from time to time, certainly coffee (but would reciprocate), but mostly I would just want feedback on my input and a fair workload.

I think you are unusual. It's lovely, but I've never done anything other than stick a couple of quid into a leaving present at any workplace, either that or you all go out for dinner on expenses, I would have thought that was the norm.

I'm obviously either very soft or very out of touch lol we delivered our project and I wanted to do something nice for my team, I obviously just have to do me!

That's just bizarre, expecting a card for hitting a target...

I'm private sector, major milestones (awards, major releases, major clients aquired) are celebrated and paid for by the employer. Hitting a target for the team is not noteworthy - we might use it as an excuse to go for a drink.

I'd never send a card to my managers for doing his job and I certainly wouldn't expect one from my team.

Thank you all your perspectives- probably was just feeling a little sorry for myself !

I don't think it's a case of them not appreciating you. It's just different social norms in different workplaces.

I think that it's nice of you to want to show your appreciation in that way and I have done similar in the past with the teams that I manage. But really don't expect anything back - it just doesn't work that way.

I think this is a lesson learnt.

I've regularly treated those I manage - drinks or a small gift at Christmas - from my own pocket. I do this to show they are valued. I would never expect anything back from them. That's not how it works.