To Not Want the Ex Wife dictating the Atmosphere in my home all Wknd

[gttob]

Just that really, although I guess this is more DH issue. He needs to manage his reaction better.

One text and the whole house is in chaos, shouting, dsd grizzling again the minute she arrives, other children retreating to bedrooms to hide from her and the general mood.
She seems to be able to dictate the mood in this house from miles away. And I've never even met the woman!!

The lady in the co op even asked what was the matter!

One text that's all it took. Am I really being unreasonable to want a nice weekend without this drama and upset from someone who is not even here!

Pretty much bacon :(

So he's basically emotionally abusive, but you think the blame for this should be shared between his ex and child? Would they also share the blame if he turns violent?

It's not really surprising his poor child has issues is it.

bogey

That's what I meant.

It seems to be like the girl has good reasons for being upset. Her DF is being a twat and the other members of the household don't seem to care that she's most likely genuinely hurt by her father.

So, describing this as grizzling is actually quite shocking.

*it seems to me

Sorry that should have been "Pretty much Spunky"

Xpost, sorry my fault

I agree, it is shocking and horrible and I think that the OP is disgusting for just being bothered that her weekend is going to be ruined. Not an ounce of concern for how the poor girl must be feeling.

And she had to blame the ex and the DD otherwise she has to face up to the fact that she is married to an utter twat.

I would like to add that I am a SMum defender on here, not part of the "all step mums must hate their step kids if they say one bad word against them" posse. But I cannot defend this at all.

Tbh I feel sorry for the dsd. She comes to stay with her dad, he's in a stinker of a mood, her step/half siblings bugger off to their rooms to avoid her, her step mum is pissed off and drinking wine/Mumsnetting.

Think I'd be Grizzling too.

semi normal Yep me too, grizzle just made my hated list

Lunar1 - exactly.

bogey

I xpost constantly....

The H seems like an emotionally abusive twat (it's hard to judge if the ex is the same) and the OP seems to be content to believe that DSD is at least partially responsible for the bad mood.

I agree. The OP sounds terrible.

Sitting around whilst the DH is behaving so badly that her own children hide and his own daughter cries.

Btw, I don't believe "all stepmums" hate their DSC either. My aunt is a stepmother and she has a good relationship with DSC and is respectful of their DM. This stepmom however...?

If one text from this woman causes your kids to clean their rooms

Is there any chance I could PM you my number, so she can send a text to my phone?

Btw, why are the children cleaning their rooms?

Are they trying to avoid further conflict by having tidy rooms or...?

Well quite.....

Sadly I suspect that the exception is proving the rule :(

Is your partner 7?

What a fucking prize he is

bogey

Exactly.

I won't write what I actually think of the OP. Mumsnet would probably delete it anyway...

Meh. Not a good night for step mothers on MN. Put the kids first and your relationship-related tantrums on the back burner.

I think the thread title is a bit unfair. It's your moody husband who si ruining the weekend. He can choose how he reacts to his ex wife's text about your
step daughter having nits or whatever the issue is. Women always seem to get blamed for everything.

Teenagers need to be cut a bit of slack. Plenty kill themselves. It's an awful stage and even worse if your awful parents have forced a divorce on you and new partners you had no choice over etc.

She still hasn't said what the content of the text is??

FFS, this woman could potentially be sitting on the cure to untidyness/clutter and she's not even willing to share.

Poor child, the absent parent has access and is in a mood, her step siblings avoid her and the step mum thinks she is the root of all problems so is already drinking despite in being the middle of the day. She should have stayed home with her mum. No wonder she's upset, everybody by their actions has very clearly made the fact that she is unwelcome.

OP, a severely warped view & another dig, at another ex, where we all seem to know who the common denominator here is, except you

Wow. No matter how annoying the xw is, it is worrying that he allows* himself to get so agitated. He can't regulate his emotions at all (whether they're reasonable reactions or not)