To Not Want the Ex Wife dictating the Atmosphere in my home all Wknd

[gttob]

Just that really, although I guess this is more DH issue. He needs to manage his reaction better.

One text and the whole house is in chaos, shouting, dsd grizzling again the minute she arrives, other children retreating to bedrooms to hide from her and the general mood.
She seems to be able to dictate the mood in this house from miles away. And I've never even met the woman!!

The lady in the co op even asked what was the matter!

One text that's all it took. Am I really being unreasonable to want a nice weekend without this drama and upset from someone who is not even here!

[Hassled]

Lunar - grizzling = whinging, wining, fake-crying, being pathetic and moany.

[ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged]

• gather = the

[longdiling]

She's being blamed for a heck of a lot considering you admit her text wasn't even that bad. What a powerful lady...

[twattymctwatterson]

OP are you drunk? Serious question, no one has any idea what you're talking about. You actually sound like you are having more of a moan about DSD's behaviour but it's not clear in any way what the issue is

[Frankley]

Your DH may have hidden many feelings about his divorce. If it was an upsetting and difficult time for him contact with his ex may bring it all back to him. Talk to him about it.

[VeryBitchyRestingFace]

I'm thinking OP has imbibed a fuckload rather a lot of plonk.

[gttob]

I wish I had drunk loads! No, one text caused chaos.

I'm tired of it and would like a peaceful wknd. It's a dh problem I'm fully aware, but she was also married to him so knows which buttons to push.

I'm sure everyone will feel better by tmrw

[MadMags]

I can't make head nor tail of this.

What did she say?

And why is it her fault that your dh is in a mood?

[Gazelda]

OP, start again.
Did DH pick DSD up from his ex?
Who sent the text?
What did it say?
Who's got nits?
Who's shouting?
Why is DSD 'grizzling'?

[BratFarrarsPony]

" knows which buttons to push."

not that old chestnut please.
the ex wife can send ONE text and send the entire house into a tailspin ?
wow she must be really powerful and your DH really weak.

[SemiNormal]

YABU to keep using the term grizzle/grizzling - are you all bears?

[JessShouldHaveBeenAPiranha]

How does a text cause chaos?

When DH pressed 'reply', did the phone explode like a hand grenade? was Donald Trump involved?

[JenLindleyShitMom]

I'm going to take a guess at this.

DSD comes with its, you/DH treats her hair for them, she tells her mum when she goes home, her mum feels judged/defensive, her mum sends DH a message saying not to be treating her/ looking for nits this weekend because she has none. DH feels like it's a dig at him, he gets angry and tells you about it, he sulks, your DC pick up on his mood, DSD is randomly 'grizzly' so you drink wine?

Am I close?

[MycatsaPirate]

Nope.

Still don't understand how one text can cause this much grief.

Why is your DSD grizzling?

Why is someone shouting and who?

Why are your kids hiding?


I'm guessing the following happened.

Op's DH picks up his DD.
Gets home. Text arrives from ex saying their DD has nits and please deal with it.
DH goes batshit shouting that his ex should have dealt with it.
DD starts crying.
Kids hide (because DH is shouting and DD is crying)
Op's solution is to get drunk.

[MycatsaPirate]

Jen Opposite suggestions but one of us has to be right!!

[gttob]

Ok

Dsd picked up.
Dh received a text some time later which annoyed him.
He was then in a bad mood.
Dsd picks up this, starts to grizzle
I get fed up of this awful miserable mood they both brought home and say so to him.
An argument starts
He is upstairs, all children now in bed.

[PaulDacresConscience]

Grizzle is a regional thing I think. My Dad uses it all the time - as a PP said it's for whiny acting-up fake moany crying. I remember being told to 'stop grizzling' as a child.

OP you have a DH problem. He is the one bringing it into the house. The pre-teen doesn't yet have the emotional intelligence to be able to compartmentalise things, but your H is an adult and should be modelling that behaviour for her. But if he reacts and kicks off then she'll feed off of his emotional cues.

[SemiNormal]

I don't think anyone can judge if the Ex Wife is to blame here without knowing at least vague contents of the texts. And what about the nits? I really don't think this sounds like an ex wife problem.

[JessShouldHaveBeenAPiranha]

I now am unable to decide whether I have nits, or my head-scratching is a result of genuine puzzlement. More info required .

[mouldycheesefan]

What did the text say to ruin your weekend and cause a mass outbreak of grizzling?

[satinthedark]

I might have lost it once and texted abuse to the EX.

He could not take his DCS on holiday as could not afford it.

His DP then posted pics of them and her DCS in Barbados and friends asked me if DCs were having a great time.

I lost it, was so hurt for my DCs - he paid for her kids but not his. Probably did get a bad reaction from him - would have been happy if it did!

[mouldycheesefan]

And I don't understand how one text can determine the at atmosphere for the whole weekend.

[Soubriquet]

I've only ever heard grizzle being used for sleepy over tired babies

This thread is

[SemiNormal]

I had no idea how much I dislike the word 'grizzling' until this thread. It really is up there with moist.

[BratFarrarsPony]

" I remember being told to 'stop grizzling' as a child. "

yes me too but the OP has now used it about 7 times re her DSD.
I would probably be grizzling if I were the DSD tbh. Her dad is shouting, her stepmother is getting pissed, and her step siblings are hiding.