To be upset with NHS over DDs weight?

[Fudgefudgefudge]

DD is 4 and is in reception. Recently she had her vision, hearing, weight etc measured at school and yesterday I received a letter from the NHS saying that they are referring her to Morelife. Having googled it I'm mortified, I had no idea my child was that overweight! I checked the NHS site which measures their BMI and using the measurements they provided it shows DD being obese and on the 99th percentile

Now I breastfed DD up until her 1st birthday and she was a big baby back then but over the years she's slimmed up if you know what I mean and to me she just doesn't look overweight. She has a healthy appetite and I am well aware of how to eat a healthy balanced diet etc but I do allow a treat for good behaviour. And DD is a very active, she would rather run than walk and I don't drive so she's used to walking places.

AIBU to be upset about this? What do I do? Ask the GP their opinion? It's made me doubt my abilities as a mother as I never even considered she could be obese.

Just a note to people saying how fab these checks are. I would just say that my dd had this check in yr 6, her weight was fine but one of her friends was super skinny and weighed a lot less than my dd. This was the seed that grew into anorexia and years of eating disorders.

Angel there's no denying that weighing 10st at age 15 is probably not great and I was definitely always a chunky kid in primary too

At 5'6.5" and weighing 10 stone I am considered a healthy weight - and look it (despite the voice in the back of my head that says I should be a stick insect). Why is that different for a 15 year old, if they've been through puberty?

Also people look different at the same weight... I look emaciated at the lower end of healthy range (and only got that thin when ill)... On admittance to hopsital one time they actually double checked the scales because they couldn't believe how heavy I was. What's that all about?! Heavy bones? Fat hidden inside despite healthy living?

These checks do seem like a good idea in one way, but I worry about the effect psychologically... I hated my body from a v young age because I wanted to be thinner, it affected my whole self worth.

She's also more than happy with a mile and half walk round the village catching Pokemon after a long day so I'm not worried about her fitness levels

Sorry OP but that's really not that far and doesn't count as enough exercise. Walking isn't enough to get her heart racing and make her sweat, she needs to be running.

Because most 15yos are not their full height yet, so you could easily have someone at 5'2" weight 10st, which would make them overweight.

Also, most people will only gain weight from their teenage years. You don't often (although it's obviously not unheard of) start out as a chubby 15yo and just happen to become a skinny adult. So, if you're 10st at 15, you're not likely to still be 10st at 30.

Most girls of 15 will have reached their adult height. Growth spurts begin at the onset of puberty and last around 4 years.

Personally I've grappled with the whole issue of whether to make a "thing" about healthy bodies and eating etc.

One of my 4 DC (8 years) has a bit extra and looks chubby at times. No one at all would think her fat in clothes and you can see her ribs etc but she does have some extra around her tummy. Her BMI is about the 70th centile so she's not technically overweight but it wouldn't take much to get her there. She's very active - swimming 5 days/week, surfing on the weekend and tennis but she loves sweets and generally really loves food, the sweeter or more carb laden the better. She's also aware that her tummy sticks out compared to the leaner girls in her Athletics team and she's self-conscious about it. I have never said anything negative about her body.

Threads like this seem to have some people saying, "I was slightly chubby as a child and my parents made a big deal out of it and consequently I can't self-regulate with sweets and I have eating issues". However, others say, "I was slightly chubby as a child and my parents didn't focus on healthier eating and I was very overweight as a teenager and I was miserable".

So in some ways, I figure whatever I do, she'll be annoyed with me at some stage. What I am doing is making sure most of the food available is healthy, fresh, not too sweet and carby and being mindful of when she's eating because she's just a bit bored, rather than hungry.

'Grazing all day' is not great. Too hard for you (or her) to keep track of her intake.

1.5 miles wandering around is nothing. I really do not think people have a realistic idea of what 'active' means for a child.

The child a few pages back, in s swimsuit? She immediately struck me as overweight, I'm afraid.

This thread has confirmed that many people don't know what healthy eating, exercise or body weight looks like.

Pluto Because most 15yos are not their full height yet, so you could easily have someone at 5'2" weight 10st, which would make them overweight.

Sorry, perhaps I wasn't clear enough - the poster I quoted said she was 5'6" at 15.

I'm unsure why different scales are used for teens when perhaps they should be measured on the adult scale once past puberty.

This subject interests and frustrates me in equal measure. I have a DS who was classified as overweight last year. I knew it would happen - he's not tall, and he is incredibly heavy. However, I take issue with those posters who discount the effects of build; DS is incredibly solid just like his father - who has a number of national judo medals won while fighting in a weight class above what his height would suggest because he is just so physically dense. DS is the same - he is extremely active (very good, very keen football player - he spends all evening playing football in the garden with his dad, and we walk the mile-plus journey to school - which he usually runs). He is also bloody fussy and eats very little much of the time. Short of exhausting him or starving him there is no way I can change how he looks and it certainly wouldn't change his build. (And yes, I cook from scratch, eat loads of veg -although he does prefer carbs - and he was breastfed for nearly 3 years, exclusively for 6 months, as that seems to be an issue cropping up on this thread too).

My point is that build/bone density etc does matter. BMI, especially for kids, is a blunt instrument that does an amazing job of attempting to support parents but should not be the source of stress and upset. My son is fit and healthy, and has eating and fitness habits that will serve him well as he grows.

(I will save the issues I have with the dietary advice in the Change4Life crap for another day)

i noticed at DS's swim class last week that out of 8 of the kids there, 6 were 'sturdily upholstered'/well covered.

these are say aged 5 - 7. Little girls with tubby tummys/bottoms at that stage surely all the 'baby weight' toddler tubbiness should've gone? I think that that is where people are confusing themselves with what looks right? i have 3 very slim kids, I do have to watch DP and his portion sizes when dishing up- as he has no idea what a portion of food is for the kids (fortunately they aren't particularly food driven...and seem to stop when they are full)
portions for kids are tiny- you'll hear on mumsnet of the 4 year old who eats 6 shredded wheat and is second centile, but kids portions are teeny weeny. (Like 'half a slice of toast', 20 pasta shapes, meat portion the same size and thickness as the kids palm of their hand.)

Have a google around for HENRY guidelines or portion sizes for kids, and prepare to be amazed. If your kids would literally starve to death on those portions then you have overfed them and stretched their stomachs- and need to start to reduce/change things as these portions are only going to get bigger as your kids do.

www.cwt.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/CHEW-5-11Years-PracticalGuide.pdf

the photos on this show portion sizes for an average 8 year old. If your 4 year old is eating this much and more then you are not doing them any favours.

I have two little girls, they are athletically built and quite muscley at 3 and 4. I also have an older daughter who was chubby, she was nearly 10 born and was n

Just seen this on twitter

Oh dear wrong thread!

The mile and a half walk isn't all she does!! I don't drive so we walk PLENTY. We walk (she'll often run if she's not on her scooter) to the childminders and then the same to school. And back. We have a trampoline which she's uses loads, she plays football (with a proper coach) at lunchtimes at school. And then there's the evening Pokemon walk. If the TV is on she won't sit down to watch it, she acts it out! She doesn't tend to get puffed out, she is an active child. The problem isn't with her exercise it's with food. Up until September she was with the childminder every day and she would often finish the younger kids meals. Portion control is what I'm looking at and also looking at the fat she consumes.

I have worked in schools for 15 years and have noticed a pattern of larger children by the year. An overweight child used to be the exception in a class...

Having said that, DS is heavy and always has been, but he is as thin as a rake. I don't believe that children don't build muscle; he has always had muscle definition because he swims and plays lots of sport.

DD however, is light in weight, but has stretch marks, cellulite and much less muscle. She has sn and we have to work harder to keep her fit as there aren't the same sporting opportunities for her.

Exercise alone though, will not make a person slim if their diet contains a lot of sweet stuff. My childhood friend swam twice daily (club swimmer), but was large even then. I remember the food at her house being mostly processed and puddings were the norm. Today she is really overweight and has never lost her sweet tooth. I think training a child's tastebuds to not associate treats with sugar is crucial.

It's a minefield!

The child a few pages back, in s swimsuit? She immediately struck me as overweight, I'm afraid.

If you're talking about my daughter, the BMI calculator had her at 56th centile. So nowhere near overweight.

Agree the first pic the child definitely looks overweight/chubby, sorry!

The BMI calculator says otherwise. As do the labels in her clothes and the health professionals that worried when she had hand foot and mouth and stopped eating for the best part of a fortnight that she didn't have enough resources to stay healthy.

Perhaps the camera has added 10lbs?

i also thought that kid in the pink looked overweight.

rummages off to find photo of own kids to check hang on.

I wish that the leaflets posted by hoddtastic were more widely circulated and that supermarkets were legally obliged to foreground healthier food and use the profits from the huge amount of processed crap that they sell to subsidise fruit and veg.

I think a lot of families don't realise that the frequent over feeding of children, (even in small amounts if it's every or most days) can lead to such serious and intractable health problems

First I wanted to say that I think the op has approached this really well, listened to advice, not got oversensitive etc.
Second I wonder how much of this goes Back to how babies are treated. The first 12 months of my son's life I was constantly told how low weight he was etc whereas friends with kids on high percentiles have been praised for having them at a "good weight". Plus with weaning a lot of time you're encouraged to give them pudding.
I have rambled but essentially it seems like up to 2 children are praised for eating loads and after that they're told they should be lean

I'm still struggling to see any hint of her being overweight. That swimming costume was age 3-4 and was still baggy on her bum. (She was 5.). BMI calculator for the height and weight measurements taken at school had her at 56th centile. She had visible ribs, hip and collarbones and long, lean limbs. No part of her wobbled when she ran or jumped. She could pull her tummy in right to her spine (practically). Looking at her school photo she was one of the skinniest kids in her class.

And yet the wise folk of mumsnet peg her as overweight.

When people say "we walk or rather the kids run", what are you doing? An active healthy weight 6 year old would be running a mile at a speed where the adult would also need to be running to keep up - 15 minute miles (a very fast walking speed) would suggest the kid isn't that fit, or maybe overweight.)

HeCant I think posters just mean that she isn't skinny. And "normal" for a young child is skinny.

She might just be a bit heavier set rather than you needing to worry given how much exercise you say she does. But if a child was the same physique but didn't have as good a diet or do any exercise then that would be a problem as they shouldn't be that size IYKWIM.