"Poster's privacy"

[VeryBitchyRestingFace]

Am I the only one who's absolutely flabbergasted at what MN HQ is deleting these days in the name of protecting "poster's privacy"??

It seems any time an OP doesn't like the direction a thread is going in/the replies they're receiving, MN will delete the entire thread at their request on the grounds of protecting privacy.

Since so many posters are name changers anyway, how does this work?

Some days my entire "threads you're on" list is just a long pile of deletions because the OP has chucked a wobbly because people didn't agree with their absurd AIBUs and MN just panders to them!

I'm a bit about this also.

If privacy is such a big deal then why post something identifying on a public form?

I'd also see the correlation between the thread not going the OP's way and the deletion request.

On the other hand, I think any thread that the Daily Fail decides to publish to deliver cheap copy via shoddy journalism should be deleted if the OP wants.

I agree with your comments re Daily Mail. It would give me the rage to see my thread end up in that rag of all publications. And then there's the potential fallout if someone does recognise you.

But yesterday, OP was goading telling posters that she was getting the thread deleted. Nobody would have been able to id her from the thread. It just hadn't gone her way.

FFS! Does it matter? Really?

I've said it before and I'll say it again...

If you don't like the website and how it's run - go and do something else!

I think it's important for a poster to protect their own privacy, change details or whatever rather than throw up every identifying detail about themselves. I agree that sometimes deletions do look as if they were more because of a flounce.

I do smile to myself when someone says 'this may out me' and goes on to say 'I live in a semi detached house' or 'some such detail that applies to millions of people'

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2772361-bollocks-was-it-privacy-big-fat-hairy-sweaty-bollocks-was-it?msgid=64672404#64672404

There's another thread on this same thing.

A poster in the other thread made the point that it's the inaccuracy that's annoying. There's no need to say it's due to "privacy" when it most likely is because it's a gunfight.

Bunfight obviously! "Privacy" seems to be the new "health and safely" catch all.

I had a thread deleted very recently for this reason because I was in a bad place. I posted identifying things in a fit of brain fart so I am glad I was given the option.

I agree about the inaccurate ones though, that's just annoying.

FFS! Does it matter? Really?

If posters only posted about things that really mattered, AIBU would be near dead.

If you don't like the website and how it's run - go and do something else!

So we can't ever discuss concerns/irritations etc? We just have to STFU and accept the status quo, even when the status quo has markedly changed?

How democratic.

I don't start whingey threads btw. This is probably my first. But yesterday's goady, entitled little OP goading away about getting the thread deleted made me think.

MN should be honest about why they're deleting threads, rather than hide behind this all encompassing veil of "poster privacy".

...it's a gunfight.

Searches for thread

Should clarify re last post, I meant whingy threads whinging about MNHQ, not whingy threads in general.

Whingy threads in general are fine and get my full approval

I'm just getting a little irritated by the amount of threads I've seen in the last few months in Active Convos that are berating and bashing MNHQ for their perceived failings.

On the other thread about this I suggested a deletion message of "Thread deleted. Our decision. Like it or lump it. The internet will not implode. The world will not end."

That's pretty honest and accurate I think!

Rachel - I will say the same as is said to everyone who says this. IT'S NOT JUST ONE COMMENT. Nobody thinks that, to use your example, the fact they live in a semi detached house is going to out them. But add in facts from previous posts, and small details from the current one even, such as "I took my two sons to x this weekend", "dh works from home and did the school run yesterday" "I've just finished decorating my bathroom in shades of purple and lime" etc. That sort of stuff adds up to people who already know you. It's not about somebody saying "ooh it must be that woman in our road who lives in a semi detached house" its about facts all adding up.

All that said, yes "to protect the poster's privacy is being used very conveniently recently". I am careful to namechange frequently (I'm due a change now actually I just can't think of anything good), change small details every now and then where they aren't overly relevant, and not share anything I wouldn't mind being in the public eye. I think it's less about people not being agreed with, more about them not being agreed with in public. So if everyone had agreed their SIL is a cow then it would have been fine even if the Mail had got their grubby hands on it, because they'd be right. But it's not much fun to be the object of ridicule on both a huge parenting site AND a national "news" paper.

Tippi - exactly right. I am also a regular name changer. (This name a week old).

I was sure I recognised someone from an expression they used in conjunction with an opinion I'd heard expressed in a similar way at school. Scrolled down the posts - yes 2 DS, yes drove to school, yes parking was impossible because school on a corner site...

I did an advanced search but no, the poster's DH did a different job from my acquaintance and in another thread she mentioned a MiL who lived some distance away.

FFS! Does it matter? Really?

I agree. It's just an anonymous thread on a forum. If the starter wants it deleted because it's annoying ir upsetting them then i think it should be deleted. It's a bit frustrating as a reader but I dont think it matters.

Posters can be extremely nasty on this forum and even if an OP has been a complete dick I hate seeing threads where posters lay into them. Who knows what the truth is and who knows if the 'dick'ish' OP is vulnerable.

There are several threads at the minute where the OPs are being called cunts by other posters. The OPs appear to be very unreasonable or trolls or goody fuckers but I still don't think it's ok to be so vile towards them. If it's a troll or goady fucker then it's best to report and ignore and if it's genuine and the OP is actually a bit deluded and has started a thread then I don't think deleting a long list of posts telling them they are cunts or whatever is any loss.

Can I just make a point about the public disagreement. (I have been on the wrong end of this myself). The problem is not the public disagreement it is the subsequent extrapolation into judgements about the poster's character that are so damaging.

Example:- A crime has been committed, possibly by Ms XX. PPs all say "Evil bitch/ string her up/ change the law" etc

PPs "Yeah evil, evil"

Poster " What are the facts? Do we know it was her? Are we sure that a crime has been committed?" "What are the police actually saying?"

PPs - You are a racist/sexist/evil/fascist bitch who agrees that it is perfectly ok to torture kittens"

Poster - "No what I said was...."

PPs " Don't make it worse you are a kitten torturer. We know what you said - your sexist/homophobic/racist/transphobic cuntishness is pretty obvious!"

Poster "What I am trying to say is that of course kitten torturing is wrong but.."

PPs - "The "but" gives you away..."

Anyone reading the thread - unless they really read the text - will believe that the poster is "....ist, ....ic.... evil". Very detrimental if anyone from work reads it and puts two and two together.

The current "Is MN full of right wing extremists" thread is a good example - as are the threads it refers to.

That's why a thread should be pulled if a poster ask for it on the basis they might be recognised.

Ah I know Tippi, it was a light hearted comment on my behalf really.

As I said also, I do think though that sometimes people give far too much personal information away, not just on MN, but on other sites also.