To feel sad that my 3 year old needs glasses?

[opalescent]

I took ds to the hospital yesterday for a check up with the optometrist, after noticing that he seemed to have a slight squint when watching the telly. I think I honestly thought they would just tell me that it was all fine, and nothing needed to be done.

Instead it turns out that he has quite poor vision, particularly in one eye. He needs glasses ASAP, which he will wear all he time, and there is a very high chance that they will also want to patch one eye following his next check up, to try and strengthen the other.

Admittedly I am pregnant and hormonal. But I just feel so sad and tearful! I love glasses, and I wear them. I don't have an issue with glasses as such. I just didn't expect poor ds to have poor vision so young, and also feel strange at the thought of him wearing glasses for the rest of his childhood- I know he will look gorgeous, and they will help him loads, it just feels scary and unexpected...
AIBU?

gosh, I wish my mum had been like you and got me glasses when I needed them as a child! She was told I had sight problems and would need annual check-ups to determine when I might need glasses but she didn't bother because I seemed to be doing ok...

Finally got glasses in my teens (at the same time as I got spots and braces - very self-conscious age) and was astonished at how the world really looks. I kept saying how the trees looked like they were in paintings because you could see all the leaves!

Honestly, you've done a great thing in picking up the problems so early, glasses will always feel natural to your DS, he won't be disadvantaged (I couldn't see blackboards etc) and he will look gorgeous!!

We have all made a huge fuss of how cool glasses are and how she is just like mummy and daddy now and all her grandparents etc. I will be getting prescription sunglasses for the summer.

I am really glad it's been picked up now before it affected her schooling.

DS is 4 and has worn glasses since he was 15 months old and has been patching for 15 months now (since he was 3). The patches have been effective, and have improved his sight greatly. We have the Ortopad elite patches, which have cool glittery designs.

His sight issues were picked up at 8 months and he had surgery a a year old - we were just thankful that the problems were discovered early so treatment could be started.

There are at least three other children in his reception class who wear glasses, he has never had any issues.

We are a glasses wearing family, older DS is the only one who currently doesn't need glasses, but based on family history we expect him to need the in his teens (when I, DH and DSis all started needing them).

My son started wearing glasses at 5.
My perspective was that a very dear friend of mine had an eye removed at 3..

Plus he looks so cute in them!

Op's DS won't be short sighted. That's bad advice.

Ds has worn glasses since he was seven. He started having headaches and struggled to read the whiteboard. He had temporary hearing aids for glue ear as well.

He still wears glasses and his prescription has been th same for the last few years.

My DS had a squint too and was prescribed glasses and patches at 3. He had to wear the patches at nursery and school for 2 years and I felt sad and worried he would be picked on. As it happened, the other children just accepted it in a very matter of fact way, like "I've got brown hair, you weare glasses" sort of thing, and they used to think he was a cool pirate with the patches. Will your DS need an operation to correct the squint? My DS had one at 6, and then another at 9. He will always wear glasses but he has had brightly coloured and trendy ones and made it part of his personal style.

Does anyone mind me asking, if your young child wears glassess, do you get well meaning but deluded people suggesting natural cures?

Can I second Jessebitch on the need to be diligent with the patching. My DC had a severe problem which we picked up early and since then have seen massive improvements. If untreated she would not have developed 3D vision.

And no shame in being upset. I had a very shallow 10 min where I just couldn't get over how different my baby looked. All good now and glasses are an integral part of her little personality.

Not unreasonable to feel conflicted about it - and well done for using here as a place to deal with those feelings so you can focus on the positives when dealing with your son. My youngest niece got glasses at about that age, and actually had an amazing year discovering all these things about the world she hadn't been able to see before. I think they're still patching her at the moment - she's nearly 6. It was also the onset of a squint that got her checked, although she was clearly "different" to her older sisters as a baby and toddler - not so curious about the world, not so quick to get up on her feet - it was not at all obvious before the squint that it was a visual issue.

No-one has suggested natural cures.

Also, contrary to what a pp said, my optician said that consistently wearing glasses stops your eyesight getting worse. As does lots of time outside.

Does anyone mind me asking, if your young child wears glassess, do you get well meaning but deluded people suggesting natural cures?

God, do people really do that? Must be a new phenomenon, because in all my years of glasses wearing (got them in Reception, now 36) not one person has suggested my vision can be "cured" by any means.

What are these magic natural remedies anyway? And if they're so great, why aren't ophthalmologists aware of them?

Let me guess, because it's all a conspiracy and the glasses/contact lens industry don't want people to be cured? Like the optician equivalent of Big Pharma?

I got glasses at 18 months for very poor vision - and apparently had eye patches too (I was too young to remember). It's really important to get squints and poor vision corrected so that they don't progress - I'm sure my parents found it scary but I'm so glad it was all picked up early. In a way I think it is easier to get used to glasses (for the wearer and those around) when you have to wear them all the time.

I no longer squint and since the age of 16 I wear contact lenses a lot of the time - these days unless people know me really well they would never know that there is anything amiss with my sight! I think frames etc are a lot nicer than when I was a kid and there is a lot less stigma about glasses. Be prepared for your DS to break quite a few pairs though as he grows up!

I used to get lots of people suggesting natural cures for Ds's glue ear, but not his eye sight. Ds eyesight has improved since he was seven and his prescription has been stable the last few years.

What would be interesting is to know whether anyone kids have glasses that are kid proof.

I am going to ask for my money back from Pregnacare- I took those tablets throughout my pregnancy and my children still need glasses! Er, just like their mum, dad, and most of their grandparents...

My eldest has worn glasses since she was 8 months old, patched for a year and has had 3 operations so far to correct her squint. I knew she had the squint it was very obvious her eye would disappear/turn inwards so you could only see one iris. I was gutted and cried for days when they said her vision was very poor and wasn't able to see anything at all without glasses apart from nowing if it was light or dark. The guilt I felt for not getting her glasses before 8 months was crippling even though I was reassured that we had caught the problem very early, I felt like I had failed my baby so I know how you feel.

I remember reading this article and feeling guilty.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-15427954

However an extra hour playing outdoors a week only reduces the risk by 2%. I do wonder if too much screen time affected Ds' eyesight. However Ds' grandparents wear glasses and my mil has never used a computer has terrible eyesight. Ds' cousins all wear glasses.

reallytired not sure what your sons prescription is but I have been told by the consultant that a prescription of + or - 6 is considered a hereditary sight imparment. All 3 of my dc wear glasses dc1 is +13.75, dc2 +9.25 and dc +7.75 so in our dc case it seems factual. Dh and I or our parents and siblings where glasses but these things do skip generations

I started wearing glasses as a child and whilst my prescription has got slightly worse over the years it is not nearly to the extent that was suggested then. I now wear contacts most of the time and got them when i was 16 as a birthday present.

I remember feeling quite excited about getting glasses as a child but other people's reactions brought me down to earth! Now when I see a child in glasses (there are few amongst my friends and family) I make sure to compliment them on them and how cool they are. It's good now because glasses are quite trendy again especially for teens.

My DS will probably need glasses, all my immediate family do, so I am prepared in advance for that. It's really not a big deal but I can understand how you feel.

My son needs glasses now at 10yo. I honestly couldn't give a toss one way or another. It's such a non event.

Patching is to strengthen the eyes for the long term and the patches they have these days are ultra cool, DD had to wear them - for the same thing as a child I had eye surgery. Squints are suprisingly common and with the right treatment can soon be minimised. The earlier they are spotted the better as what happens is the strong eye becomes dominant and the weaker eye gets weaker and weaker - patching makes the weak one work and strengthens it to work together with the dominant eye so long term it is still functional. I wouldn't be sad but thats me I get on with what needs doing - he is what he is and no one is perfect there is usually something or other - his thing happens to be glasses and generally for a squint that is all it ever is these days and for the most part testing and glasses can be had for free or a small contribution (I think I pay an extra £5 or something for DD's and they were the ones she wanted)

Patching is to strengthen the eyes for the long term and the patches they have these days are ultra cool, DD had to wear them - for the same thing as a child I had eye surgery. Squints are suprisingly common and with the right treatment can soon be minimised. The earlier they are spotted the better as what happens is the strong eye becomes dominant and the weaker eye gets weaker and weaker - patching makes the weak one work and strengthens it to work together with the dominant eye so long term it is still functional. I wouldn't be sad but thats me I get on with what needs doing - he is what he is and no one is perfect there is usually something or other - his thing happens to be glasses and generally for a squint that is all it ever is these days and for the most part testing and glasses can be had for free or a small contribution (I think I pay an extra £5 or something for DD's and they were the ones she wanted)

I think it is really important to make sure he spends some time not wearing glasses though. My eyes really benefit from the odd evening or morning of no correction

This is a complete nonsense. The lenses correct vision, they don't make it better or worse.

The only difference taking his glasses away will make will be to make it harder to see for the time he hasn't got his glasses on. It might also make him self conscious about wearing them.

My son gets headaches if he doesn't wear his glasses. I am told that th shape of his eyeball is the problem. The muscles in his eyes are healthy.

I wouldn't take away his glasses at any time as he can't read or see his playmobil well without that.
To me that is cruel especially as without my own I can see nothing.
Such a cruel idea.