To feel sad that my 3 year old needs glasses?

[opalescent]

I took ds to the hospital yesterday for a check up with the optometrist, after noticing that he seemed to have a slight squint when watching the telly. I think I honestly thought they would just tell me that it was all fine, and nothing needed to be done.

Instead it turns out that he has quite poor vision, particularly in one eye. He needs glasses ASAP, which he will wear all he time, and there is a very high chance that they will also want to patch one eye following his next check up, to try and strengthen the other.

Admittedly I am pregnant and hormonal. But I just feel so sad and tearful! I love glasses, and I wear them. I don't have an issue with glasses as such. I just didn't expect poor ds to have poor vision so young, and also feel strange at the thought of him wearing glasses for the rest of his childhood- I know he will look gorgeous, and they will help him loads, it just feels scary and unexpected...
AIBU?

I think it's quite natural to feel sad when you are told your child has to wear glasses - after all, they change the way your child looks. I don't imagine anyone who was told their child needed glasses didn't feel a bit sad about it.

It's important not to let your child know that it makes you feel sad. Or to make a big deal about glasses (don't go OTT on the positive either). Just accept it.

My son was prescribed glasses a bit older that your son and I felt very weird about it, but he took to them like a duck to water and he looks so right in them that he actually looks wrong when he doesn't wear them (and that was after a couple of days).

My DD wears glasses, I was upset, I wear glasses and it is such a nuisance when swimming or wearing sunglasses. I can wear contacts but that is a faff as well. If there was one thing I could change about myself it would be that.

Having said that we're both fit as fiddles apart from wearing specs, so, first world problem really, and I should get over it!

Two if my three have glasses was no suprise with dd as obvious squint etc but I was really sad when told ds needed them and I also felt guilty as playgroup had been saying for a while rhey thought he may need them. The first pair were thin frames that didn't especially suit him and the prescription wasn't quite right but the next pair were chunky frames and he looks sooooo cute and loveky in them and when he first put them on and obv could see he said 'these are magic glasses' was so great and he has come on loads wearing them. You can get two pairs at spec savers and they will always fix one of the pairs which is highly recommend also we got one pair as prescription sunglasses .

My DS had the same issue and has now wore glasses for almost a year and despite wearing glasses myself I was sad. Also started to patch now but luckily he takes it all in his stride.

I was opposite to you I was rather relieved when my 3 year ld finally got his glasses but I could tell he was really struggling to see if had previously taken him for a check up with the optometrist twice each time she was saying my ds was hard work and not willing to concentrate I knew he just couldn't see what she was asking and was getting frustrated so we pushed and got an hospital appointment where he had drops in turns out his eyes are riddled with stigmatisum and he really couldn't see. He's had his glasses a week and refuses to take them off he walks round looking at everything going wow!

My ds2 had to wear glasses and an eye patch. The eye patches are glittery and have cool patterns. It's also abit of a club as you'll see someone else with one. He has a micro squint too. Glasses are much better designs now. At specsavers you get free prescription sun glasses too. Of all the things that could be wrong with you this is a better one. Glasses on children are cute! It's just the shock of finding out.

Thank you for all the lovely and sensible replies. I definitely won't communicate these feelings to ds, but will make the process of choosing and wearing a pair as positive and exciting as I can.
Thank goodness the issue has been identified early, so that his vision can be improved as much as possible.

I felt the same. Most people do. We went through patching aswell. Both ds's wear glasses. It's fine now.

Gotta agree about the patches too. DS' are really cool and he likes choosing one in the morning.

My 9 yr old has similarly poor eyes and has worn glasses since reception. To be honest i'm just grateful it was picked up early and he loved his glasses from the off. I was most upset when he had his photo taken at school and the teacher took his glasses off for it, he wasn't best pleased at the request an he didn't look like himself with out them either!
OP some people have crap eyesight, simples, you were attentive enough as parent to suspect something was up, get it checked out and now help get her to a position where she will be able to see better from now on. Try not to feel sad you've achieved a positive outcome here.

Aw don't stress out!
My DD had glasses at 1 she has very long sighted eyes +8 and +6. It takes a lot at first to understand, and come to terms with it.

But don't worry, your LO has loads of growing to do, the eyes don't stop growing until around 8. So his eyesight will constantly change.

The glasses will correct his squint and hopefully won't need a patch. Mine has a squint too, she never needed patching she looks straight now.
The squint only really comes out now and again when she hasn't got her glasses on.

Chin up it's not the end of the world x

My daughter got them at 3 for the same reason. Her clumsiness immediately improved and she wanted to wear them as they helped so much. Now after 4 years wearing them daily her vision and squint have improved so much that she rarely needs them. Hope the results are as good for you.

Well how bloody good of you Applejac to have thought of Vitamins to aid your DC spine growth and perfect eye sight all those stupid mums out there damaging their unborn infants health by not being as clever as you are. I suppose it serves OP right for not chewing her vitamins

I had a patch when I was young! Lazy eye. Please make sure you do follow through with that as my parents didnt and therefore it never got fixed. After a certain age you can't fix it. Now one eye just doesnt work I can see colours and shapes but no matter what lens used I still cant focus it.

I felt the same OP when my DD2 needed them. You just get used to it though....they're still the same little person and they get used to them so fast.

DS2 had been wearing glasses since he was 4 and had one eye patched for several months. It made quite a difference doing it at a young age and his sight has improved quite a lot. It's ok to feel a bit sad but its much better that problems are caught early to avoid issues like a lazy eye.
He had no issues in school because at that age they aren't really self conscious. He wasn't the only one in his year with glasses or patching.

Doubt the vitamins were anything to do with that Apple.

Dt2 just got fitted yesterday for her first glasses she 5.5 - she chose some super cool ones and looks gorgeous in them but I do feel a tiny bit sad for her. As a contact lens / glasses wearer for over 20 years it's a pain in the arse and I'd rather I didn't have to!

Forgot to add- they do lots of character glasses in Specsavers for free. My son has Star Wars glasses from there- his little brother is very jealous and wants to have glasses too, but doesn't need them yet.

DD got hers at 3 as well. Wasn't a surprise for us though give both her parents had them since a young age .

When getting the glasses, you might want to try boots (you can get a spare pair free at present - and the NHS voucher only allows for 1 pair). Otherwise, look for opticians that have posters I. The window for things like princess glasses - they tend to have a much bigger kids range hidden in drawers.

It's also amazing how much DD can now do. It's clear that she really really needed glasses. Without them she was pretty blind.

I think parents pick up on sight problems much better than when I was young. My DH struggled for years before getting glasses at 13. His lazy eye was too late to be fixed.

I work in a school and these days the proportion of children with glasses and patching is quite high. It's very normal now and no one thinks anything of it.

I think there are 8 specs wearers in my reception class, and about four of those have quite a strong presecription. They all have funky glasses (even the cheapest ones are pretty nice now) and seem to love wearing their glasses. Or at the least seem totally unbothered by it.

Of course you are worried about your DC and if he will take to wearing specs. But most likely in 6 months' time you and he will be so used to it he'll look 'wrong' when he takes them off at night!

You are his Mummy, you'd be a strange one, if you didn't feel affected by this.
However, you're right, he will look mega cute, but more importantly, he will be able to see properly.
We are very privileged to have such good care here, for our children.
I imagine, he'll be very proud of his new glasses.
He may not need them as an adult.
You'll soon get used to the idea. 😀💐

I started wearing glasses when I was five and it's not necessarily all downhill in terms of eye sight. I was very very short sighted as a child, but actually now in my mid thirties, my eyesight is relatively good, only -2.5.

I think it is really important to make sure he spends some time not wearing glasses though. My eyes really benefit from the odd evening or morning of no correction, and I trace the improvement in my eyesight back to a vain period in my late teens where I refused to wear my glasses at all unless I was taking notes from a blackboard (yes I used blackboards at school). You probably won't have to force him to take them off from time to time though!

I wonder if special vitamins can protect against inheriting smug, gullible puppetry from one's parents

As we all wear glasses, I've reached a point where I think people's faces look bare without them!

And that would be muppetry