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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To order a takeaway for Christmas dinner when I'm hosting?

329 replies

thirteendolphins · 04/11/2016 07:52

I have 2 DC's - nearly 4yo and 10 months at Christmas. I have invited my parents round for Christmas dinner, MIL, brother and partner and a friend. So 7 adults and 2 kids in total.

DP will be working on Christmas day and won't be home til about 7pm.

To be honest I get stressed out just making a roast dinner, the number of dishes to wash etc freak me out, the kids are going to be hyper, we'll have different guests visiting the boys late morning, the house will be a bomb site. If DP was here he'd make the Christmas dinner because he doesn't mind and is the complete opposite to me when it comes to cooking i.e. he is unflappable.

I, on the other hand, will get completely stressed, will be in the kitchen most of the day cooking and tidying up, will also be trying to keep up with the constant demands from the kids and trying to entertain the guests. I can feel my anxiety levels rising just thinking about it.

So I've thought about getting an Indian takeaway meal instead and providing pudding. My parents do this most Christmas days so I know they won't mind. It just seems so much EASIER. But I LOVE Christmas dinner (when someone else is doing it). I feel like I'm cheating.

But then I think surely the most important thing is that we're all together and I'm enjoying the kids and the guests and it's relaxed. Surely it won't be much fun for the guests if I'm flapping about, bright red and on the edge of tears???

AIBU??

OP posts:
bikerlou · 04/11/2016 18:49

Why don't you do what my cousin does every year and get it all ready made from M&S I would be quite pissed off to go to someone for xmas and get an Indian takeaway.
You can get it all chopped and ready prepped and all you have to do is shove it in the oven, Ready made sauces and all. Easy.
Use christmassy paper plates, tin foil container for the bird and throw the whole lot away after. Easy, is what I always used to do.

Penhacked · 04/11/2016 18:50

I have a four year old and and ten month old and I'd say of all the years someone else should be cooking, it should be this one. I would tell them you have two little children so everyone has to chip in and bring something because at some point you are going to end up with kids clamouring for attention while you are in a hot kitchen with no dp on hand.

MissBeehiving · 04/11/2016 18:54

I'm a fan of the m&s option - used to do the whole home cooked thing but we decided that actually spending time cooking on Christmas Day wasn't what we wanted to do. M&s is delicious.

The traditional sound in our house on Christmas morning is Kings Carols and the ping of the microwave 😄😄

Baileysagain · 04/11/2016 18:55

Is there a Cook near you? They do a great Xmas dinner X

Winemamma · 04/11/2016 18:58

I agree with most posts - tell your guests your plans and if people aren't all up for it then go with the prepared m and s stuff.
I love cooking a roast but agree it's more stressful and time consuming when cooking for a larger group and I always do all the trimmings, but I still do it when it's my turn!

Luckily this yr it's Christmas as home with just DH and DC so will be a nice easy one and I can drink plenty of wine whilst I cook watch the kids playing with their presents - can't wait!! Grin

WhatLizzyDid · 04/11/2016 19:04

YANBU - you are a legend!!!

TheFormidableMrsC · 04/11/2016 19:06

My stepmum is an appalling cook by her own admission...she orders in from caterers who deliver the entire Xmas dinner on the day...expensive but utterly lush...everything done, nothing to do, just serve. It might be worth investigating. I would be gutted at Indian takeaway on Xmas day!

bikerlou · 04/11/2016 19:12

"The traditional sound in our house on Christmas morning is Kings Carols and the ping of the microwave 😄😄"

Love it :-D

Vandree · 04/11/2016 20:06

YAB only slightly U. You have small children and your dh is working so someone should step in and say they will do this year instead. You need to speak up for yourself and let your family know that things have slightly changed and as your dh is at work and you are by yourself with the children you are doing "christmas" on boxing day and anyone who wants to come to yours on christmas day is more than welcome to come for finger food and wine or they can come boxing day and to let you know. Im pretty sure people will either be happy with that or offer to host themselves.

Regarding the takeaway, as lovely as it sounds if you invite people for christmas dinner you cant really offer a takeaway. You could do a huge pot of turkey curry the day before and reheat with lots of sides but give warning so any moaners can go elsewhere. I cooked on christmas day for dh's family for years after his mother died. I didn't mind doing it at all. What I did mind was when it came to SIL's turns after 6 years of me cooking one offered an uncle bens sweet and sour sauce chicken dinner and the following year there was packets of tesco sliced ham and turkey with soggy frozen veg. But, at least they gave it a go to cook something. Would have much rathered an M&S prepared meal. I prep my own now but my first few xmas dinners were M&S finest :)

throwingpebbles · 04/11/2016 20:13

Sounds a awesome to me!! I'd give everyone the heads up in case there's any curry haters, but I would be expecting them all the pull their fingers out and help make the day easy for you anyway! They aren't there to be waited on if you have two tinies

Bogeyface · 04/11/2016 20:32

We do the share-the-load thing.

I do stuffing and pigs in blankets (no mean feat for a family of 14 greedy feckers!) and the chicken. DSis does roast spuds and gammon. Mum and Dad do the veg. Simple!

Bogeyface · 04/11/2016 20:33

Oh and we share the clearing up so no body gets stuck with all the washing up etc. The kids clear the table, DSis and I do the washing and drying up, usually assisted by a bottle of Baileys, the men put all the furniture back as fitting the big table in takes some major moving around and mum runs around telling everyone they are doing it wrong :o

user1471597463 · 04/11/2016 20:49

I love an alternative Xmas dinner! If be cooked it I can't eat it.....I lose my appetite when I can smell stuff cooking - I'm a bit weird! My OH and the kids like staying in pj's, opening pressies bit by bit, eating cr*p and playing games! We've had an indian Xmas takeaway, pizza and beers, and I think this year we've got friends coming over and we're gonna have a Mexican feast....with tequila!! A big traditional roast is all well and good but if it's not your thing it's just not your thing....as long as your guest's know the score then it's all good!! Arrriiibbaaaaaa 😂😂😂😂

user1471597463 · 04/11/2016 20:51

If I've cooked it....stupid wine fingers 😂

Paddington68 · 04/11/2016 21:09

Go to the pub and get people to pay for themselves. Can nibbles in from M and S for after if you want. It's what we are doing.

Frenchfarmwench · 04/11/2016 21:53

Don't stress. Just go to M&S and buy everything for a traditional Christmas meal from there.
It will he delicious, easy to cook and no one will be disappointed, which I afraid they may have been with a takeaway.

I

FleurThomas · 04/11/2016 23:10

Get it from one of the supermarket's Christmas catering services, and should be ok.

Summerlovin24 · 04/11/2016 23:25

It's your Christmas as well. Do what the hell you want....

ifeellikechickentonight · 04/11/2016 23:26

No no no no no Shock

YABU, yes!

I'm no foodie diva and love a tikka masala as much as the next person but if I was due at your house for Christmas dinner and you said we were getting a curry I'd be livid! Because your guests can't now say they don't want to come as it looks like they are choosing a turkey over your company. Your poor MIL.

I do feel for you OP with small kids and DP not there and all. But I think you should have played the young kids card and swapped with whoever was due to host next year. I think your only way out of this now is lots of pre prep on xmas eve and ready prepped m&s like PPs have suggested. Then you and DH can have a curry on Boxing Day!

Haribeau · 05/11/2016 02:59

Get a M&S ready to roast meal etc and lots of tin foil(throw the fuck away) trays. Or get everyone to contribute something, you are being shite, have a sherry and crack on

DoubleNegativePanda · 05/11/2016 03:12

How many times does the OP need to state that she didn't choose to invite guests. It's her turn in the family rotation and until days ago, she thought her DP wouldn't be working. Now he has found out he must work, and as he is the cook of the family she is flustered.

It's not a daft situation if you actually read the OP's responses.

DoubleNegativePanda · 05/11/2016 03:20

I really can't believe some of the snotty, entitled, selfish attitudes I'm hearing on this thread. If my family was so stunned, appalled and gutted and whatever food I chose to serve them at Christmas so as to give myself time to actually visit with them that they flatly refused to come to mine and made alternate plans, I'd say fuck right off and make your plans.

Christmas is not about turkey and roast fucking potatoes. Wake up to yourselves.

GinIsIn · 05/11/2016 03:36

Um, Double it was the OP who said first she'd be disappointed not to have Christmas dinner.....

sofato5miles · 05/11/2016 03:45

Double aren't you a charm!

timefliesby · 05/11/2016 08:07

I sympathise. You've taken too much on with a 10 month old and no husband around. I also offered to cook Christmas Day lunch when my kids were 6 months and 1.5yrs old. Everyone got sick a few days before (including me). I asked my parents to do the shopping as we were housebound but then trying to cook with a bunch of ingredients you wouldn't have bought yourself was a nightmare. I got super stressed the timings were all out and I was with an abusive person at the time who made it very clear I was a disaster zone. Luckily I just married my amazing hubby who wouldn't dream of acting anything like that. 😀
So yes, I would make other plans, get everyone to bring a dish or have a curry but definitely remember the point of Christmas which is for loved ones to come together. Have a good one!