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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think my neighbour should have said no to taking my parcel in?

24 replies

ilovewelshrarebit123 · 03/11/2016 22:08

I moved into my rented house three weeks ago. It's just me and my 9 year old daughter.

My house is tucked in a corner and I have to drive over a sort of pathway to get to my driveway. (Relevant)

I've introduced myself to my neighbour attached to my house who is lovely. There's a guy he's about 60, across this pathway who lives on his own. I've chatted to him and he seemed ok.

Today a parcel arrived for me, card said it's at No13 (across pathway). I knocked on the door and he came to the door and I said you've got a parcel for me please, it was 4pm when I called for it.

He insisted on seeing the card , took it off me and read it. He was clearly not happy he'd got this delivery and made this very clear.

He got the box, it was a BT Youview box so not big, and said 'why couldn't they leave it at your house' I said oh I was at work, I am sorry. It's raining so they wouldn't leave it outside. He said it wasn't raining earlier and thrust the box at me and slammed door in my face!

Since I moved in he's also been leaving his car parked on this pathway, making it really difficult for me to reverse off my drive. He has his own drive so don't get why he's doing this.

He doesn't like me does he! I'm also going to have tell any deliveries not to take them to No13 as well!

All he had to do was say no to taking the box though and it would have saved his upset

Would you say anything i.e. To just say no if it happens again, or just leave it?

OP posts:

SweetPeaPods · 03/11/2016 22:09

I would leave it. It's up to him if he chooses to take it or not.

listsandbudgets · 03/11/2016 22:16

Don't worry about it. His interpersonal skills need working on but at least he saved you a trip to the post office

user1477282676 · 03/11/2016 22:39

Don;t let him bully you. He's trying his hand. Next time his car is in the way, march up to his door and tell him....TELL him....to move it.

Then say "I'd prefer it if you used your drive or your car may get damaged as I try to back out..and we don't want that do we?"

PinkiePiesCupcakes · 03/11/2016 22:47

Do a classic Mumsnet,
"Did you mean to be so rude?" With a slight head tilt and a tinkly laugh.
When his car is in the way, leave a mumsnet dirty nappy on the windscreen.

And don't forget to log it with 101 op.

Tootsiepops · 03/11/2016 22:47

My neighbour is like this. He takes our parcels in if we are not home, then stomps across the road with it as soon as he sees my husband or me coming home. He doesn't even speak to either of us - just chucks our stuff at us and stomps off again.

Just don't take the parcel in the first place you total dickhead. I'd rather go and pick it up from the post office

Manumission · 03/11/2016 22:50

Pinkie is everything okay?

MsJudgemental · 03/11/2016 22:58

He's a git. Mark on your deliveries NOT to leave at his house and tell him not to park on the path.

fruitandbarley · 03/11/2016 23:06

Since you've actually got to live next door to him for the foreseeable, as much as I'd like to do the above, I'd spend a couple of weeks first trying to win him round, buy him a box of chocolates, go round and apologise about him having to take your parcel, if your going to the shop, knock and asks if he needs anything. You don't know what's going on in his life for him to be grumpy at the world, a couple of weeks of being nice to him might in the long run mean you're not left living next door to someone you don't get on with, if after a couple of weeks he hasn't thawed, then God yes, tell him if he dosnt shift his car you can't promise not to hit it.

Baylisiana · 03/11/2016 23:19

Arrange to have about 30 things delivered on the same day with instructions to leave at no 13 if out. After that he'll be relieved when it is just one.

timelytess · 03/11/2016 23:28

The fault, dear Brutus, lies with the dickies who hand the parcels over to neighbours. I phone, complain, and make them collect the parcel and deliver it again.

JellyBelli · 03/11/2016 23:35

He sounds awful. We have a couple of neighbours like him, they're trying to start a feud

bibbitybobbityyhat · 03/11/2016 23:50

I'm sure it wasn't the first parcel he's taken in this week. As someone who is at home a great deal, I get driven flipping mad by parcel deliveries for people all around me.

blowmybarnacles · 03/11/2016 23:55

if only we were all like fruitandbarley I'm going to do this next time i have a difficult person

IMissGrannyW · 04/11/2016 00:02

He MIGHT have a legitimate issue which he clearly thinks is obvious, but isn't to you.

He MIGHT have a not at all legitimate issue which he clearly thinks is obvious, but isn't to you.

He might be a nutter.

He might be someone with too much time on his hands.

Loads of things this could be, and can't tell (and nor can you, OP). So I'd try kindness first, and see if this brings out more information, which you may or may not understand, and may or may not agree with, but which might at least bring some clarity.

If you hope to be there for some time, then harmony with your neighbours would be good. If it's short-term for you, then bugger in spending time in investing!

Florathefern · 04/11/2016 00:18

That is a nice suggestion in another land Fruit. However, if I knocked on my neighbour's' door and asked if they would like anything back from the local shop, they would assume Ii was taking the p*iss out of them!

fruitandbarley · 04/11/2016 00:25

Ahh, but if you don't ask you don't know. I'd rather take the risk and know I'd tried.

fruitandbarley · 04/11/2016 00:33

It's a lot harder for people to be difficult and grumpy with you if you hit them with kindness. Half the time yes it won't work and yes they might just be living next door to a right fucking nightmare neighbour, but trying a couple of times to be nice and check Is surely worth it. Nothing to lose surely but everything to gain if they were having a few off days and you end up friends. The world Is full of arses, I know plenty, but it's usually for a reason, justified or not. But living next door to someone you don't get on with would be awful.

Pemba · 04/11/2016 00:47

Do we have the same neighbour, welshrarebit and Tootsiepops ?

Mine is like this. Grumpy git. (Although his wife and teenage kids are lovely). The trouble is we often don't have a car on the drive, whereas they often have several, so the driver's default reaction seems to be to go to them. Even though I have informed Amazon of our 'safe place' (stored in my preferences) and have even taken to writing 'PLEASE DON'T LEAVE WITH NEIGHBOURS' as the first line of our address.

The other day we had a large parcel coming from Amazon, and I had forgotten to write anything on the label. It was Sunday morning, about 11, I was having a lie-in and had also forgotten to tell DH about the parcel. He was in the shower when it arrived, so missed it. When he called round for it an hour later grumpy neighbour made it clear he was not happy, asking why we missed the knock. Poor DH, he didn't even know anything about it.

Don't agree to take the parcel in if it bothers you so much, it's not rocket science. I am going to have to put a sign up on my door, aren't I?

It's not like I have deliveries every day, or even every week. I put in a complaint to Amazon (not sure how much notice the drivers will take of that). But Christmas shopping is on the horizon and I am not going to stop online shopping just because I have a weird neighbour.

Cloeycat · 04/11/2016 01:02

To be fair the drivers do make it quite difficult to refuse a parcel. I live on a street of large houses all divided into 4/5/6 flats. I was asked by a driver to accept a parcel for someone ina flat in a house 3 doors down and refused as I had never met them and didn't want to have to keep guessing when they might be home and knocking. The driver kept saying well you are the only person on the street at home can you not drop it round later- no I can't and I don't need to give you an excuse either no should be enough. V annoying.

But your neighbour does sound like a bit of an arse

notangelinajolie · 04/11/2016 01:27

You are correct. YANBU. He should have said no. If it wasn't convenient he shouldn't have signed for it in the first place. The postman knows I am in during the day and always knocks on my door if neighbours aren't in. To be honest it really pisses me off sometimes that I'm treated as the local drop off point but I don't get grumpy with the neighbours that ask me first. Perhaps you should ask him politely in advance next time you are expecting a delivery.

Pemba · 04/11/2016 04:53

Put a notice on your door that you won't take in parcels then angelina. Or simply say no (as you are perfectly entitled to) when the delivery people knock, or don't answer the door. They will soon get the message.

If you are pissed off with anyone, it should be the postmen/couriers (only if they persist in knocking after you have made it clear to them you don't want to do it). Don't be pissed off with neighbours who may well have no idea the delivery people will go to you, and would probably prefer to have the package left in a safe place, to collect it from the depot/PO, etc.

TopEndChops · 04/11/2016 09:20

Just a general request, try not to be too pissed off with us posties, we're only trying to do our job. We are told to try neighbours, we deliver to around 600 households a day and if you don't have a regular route it's hard to keep up with who likes what where and who doesn't get on with who. Just say no or put a sign up in the window, most of us want to give you the service that suits your needs.

Pemba · 04/11/2016 09:37

Fair enough, TopEnd. I guess notices on the door are the way to go.

Glastonbury · 04/11/2016 10:35

Just put a note on your front door saying to not leave your parcels with any neighbours.

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