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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to say no to a football match?!

36 replies

MonkeyMum91 · 02/11/2016 16:27

Hey, just looking for some opinions. Me and my partner have just booked a date in January for our sons christening, we have booked the church, and a bar afterwards for a day time doo to also coincide with his 1st Birthday Party. Deposits are paid and invites have been sent.
Today my partner (a big Liverpool fan) tells me that there is actually a Liverpool v Man united football match on that day that he hadn't realised until now, and that he and lots of other men will want to watch it, so he should be able to put it on in the bar that we have privately hired.
I hate football, but I understand that it is a big passion of my partners and would never stop him from watching a match, and usually I wouldn't arrange something when there was one on. It was actually him who chose the date (not realising of ofc) But I do NOT want this happening and it's worrying me. We will have spent hundreds on this doo for then half the men to sit round watching football and drinking when it's supposed to be special day for our sons christening and 1st Bday.
I've told my partner it's not going on and I'm putting my foot down. It's one match and there are certain things that are always more important than football and this is one of them. I told his Mum expecting her support, only for her to suggest I try and rearrange the date at another church and then to expect people to leave but to stay positive.

It angers me so much how a football match is so important. Am I out of order here? Opinions please x

OP posts:
superram · 02/11/2016 16:36

i support a ne football team and my daughter was christened on the same day as the local derby. Sky buggered up my weekend of football and then the christening by moving the match to 1pm. We had it on next door-it was fine but then I wanted to watch it too.

Gardencentregroupie · 02/11/2016 16:40

I do think it's daft that people are this mad for football but if you don't have it on in the bar, realistically speaking you're going to have huddles of men all watching it on people's phones anyway. AT least if it's on the telly it'll be a bit more sociable I suppose. You can't ban people from watching it, rude though it may be. I've seen it happen.

sirfredfredgeorge · 02/11/2016 16:41

Yes, YABU, other people are not invested in your chosen thing, that's fine, people have different views, there's no requirement for you to like football, or others to like christenings.

"Putting your foot down", declaring that your thing is more important than others is not fair, you can negotiate a solution, but the put in on in the bar of the party sounds like a pretty good negotiated solution anyway...

luckylucky24 · 02/11/2016 16:41

what time is the match on?

I hate football and would not be happy about this at all. The reality is though, that some people will prioritise this so your choices are move the christening- either to another day or just the time if possible, or put it on and accept it. If you don't then you may have people leave early to go home and watch it.

PNGirl · 02/11/2016 16:42

For a lot of Liverpool fans this is the biggest fixture of the year. If you don't have it on (even on mute) they will all stand round streaming the goals and refreshing BBC sport on their phones.

I say this as someone who got married during the 2010 world cup and put the England match on in one of the rooms!

ineedamoreadultieradult · 02/11/2016 16:47

I would put it on. Those that want to watch will be more likely to enjoy the day if they can watch the match and if you don't put it on you risk them sloping of early or spending the whole time checking their phones/listening to the radio etc.

DollopofTrollop · 02/11/2016 16:47

If you live in Liverpool .... You have lost !!!
Let them watch it in the other room then get on with the party !!!

Don't come between a gang of LFC supporters when they are playing Man U!!!

Boredbeforeievenbegan · 02/11/2016 16:48

I think Yabu, the guests will still be there, just watching a game?

Original poster
MonkeyMum91 · 02/11/2016 16:49

The match is on at 4. I just don't know what to do for the best. I wouldn't mind as much it being on in mute in the background sort of thing, but if it turns into a football piss up it seems silly that we have spent all the money on the doo and a buffet when all the men could've just gone the pub and it wouldn't have cost me anything!

And I'm not saying that 'my thing' is more important than football, or that people have to like christenings. But it's a special day for my son and If people don't want to come, or want to go early that's completely up to them. I'm not forcing anybody to come.

OP posts:
Original poster
MonkeyMum91 · 02/11/2016 16:51

There's also only the one room. So it would be on for everyone.

We do live in Liverpool! Had I have known this before I would never have gone with this date!

I don't want to be a bitch, just wanted a special day for my son really, and I've seen football matches completely kill parties before!

OP posts:
Sirzy · 02/11/2016 16:51

Surely the "special" bit of a christening is the church service anyway?

Realistically I doubt your sons enjoyment will be impacted by the football being on or not.

If you "ban" it are you ready for lots of people to want to leave around 3.30?

mumofthemonsters808 · 02/11/2016 16:52

You're making a rod for your own back, not showing the game, will either result in people not going or being engrossed in their phone. The day is special for you and your family but it's not the bee all and end all for the other guests.Mufc and Liverpool is a huge game and football supporters tend to be fanatical. I say that as a hater of football, but being surrounded by people who adore their team, I know how their minds works.

TupsNSups · 02/11/2016 16:52

I can guarantee if the match is not on the fellow football fans will either, leave your do to watch it at the nearest possible pub or sit glued to their phones to watch it.

I think you need to suck it up or move the date tbh.

Gottagetmoving · 02/11/2016 17:00

I don't think YABU
I do think though you are on a loser with this one. Most of the fans who you invite will watch on their phones or leave to go and watch the match.
It would be nice if people could put the christening and get together first but sadly, that's not the reality.
Your DP should have checked before choosing the date so should really back down on this but he will probably only be a misery all day if he misses the match.
I would let them have the match on and make the best of it but I do agree with you it's not fair.

PlaymobilPirate · 02/11/2016 17:06

They'll watch it anyway - stream it on their phones/ tune in to the radio / sneak off to another bar on the sly etc... you may as well just put it on!

Allthebestnamesareused · 02/11/2016 17:09

What time is the actual christening and party after?

I'd be watching myself - YNWA

SeaCabbage · 02/11/2016 17:13

What time does your do start and finish? So how much will be taken over the football?

Sadly I think you may have to change your way of thinking and just accept that you are going to have a Christening/football party! If you can't beat 'em join 'em sort of thing.

Also, don't forget that your son will understand nothing of the whole thing and will have plenty of attention at the Christening at least. He will understand though if his mum is stressed and tense all afternoon so if I were you I would practise some breathing exercises and of course, Wine.

Original poster
MonkeyMum91 · 02/11/2016 17:20

Thanks everyone.

I'm coming to the realisation as many of you have said that I'm on a losing battle!

You're right if it's not on the telly they'll all have it on their phones anyway. I'm annoyed that my partner didn't check the fixtures before it was booked, and instead booked the church, and then about 6 weeks until we'd found a place for the doo, paid the deposit, sent out all the invites and then checked them :/.

But yes, I may just have to try and embrace it, and yes wine will be a must!! X

OP posts:
Original poster
MonkeyMum91 · 02/11/2016 17:21

And it would be on for around half of the doo. So at least the first part won't be as bad! Envy

OP posts:
Meluzyna · 02/11/2016 17:29

Quite frankly I'd be pleased that the FA had provided entertainment for the menfolk - I think you'll find they are not into children's parties and would probably all congregate in the bar with a pint anyway.
Our son's christening was also combined with his first birthday party - he doesn't remember any of it (he's 18 now) but I have the photos that prove the women gathered together to gossip, and the men stood around with pints talking about man stuff (football, cars, music, beer) and the under tens just got on with eating as many chocolate biscuits as they could and running around.
The important part of the christening happens at church.
The important part of a party is socialising - which (m'lud) i understand men do when watching a football match.

Meluzyna · 02/11/2016 17:30

PS Sorry OP but you are doing my head in - it's a "do" - only one "o".

PollyHampton · 02/11/2016 17:34

We got married on an important match day! I think you should put it on, it's 90 minutes and like pp said, fans will only stream it on phones or leave anyway! I would have thought the actual christening ceremony is the important part of the day anyway!

FoundNeverland · 02/11/2016 17:41

He probably did check the fixtures but a number of Liverpool's games changed about two weeks ago.

What time is the christening?

Costacoffeeplease · 02/11/2016 17:55

Tough shit, I can't abide football and football bores, how pathetic of grown adults to put football above everything and anything - tell him to grow the fuck up

Original poster
MonkeyMum91 · 02/11/2016 17:59

Yer I think I am gonna have to admit defeat with this one. I don't feel it's fair but have to be realistic. Thanks for all your opinions.

Meluzyna you're probably right, the men will always stand round doing that so I suppose a bit of football won't make too much difference.
I know the church is the special part, but the party was also for his birthday.

And we will have to agree to disagree with the 'doo'! 'Do'- one 'o' is a verb, 'Doo'- two 'o's is a noun! (Albeit an informal one! Wink)

OP posts:
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