To think VTech hates parents and like to torment them?

[Soubriquet]

Those bloody toot toot cars are driving me crazy!

So glad my mum gave me my brothers old lot so I didn't waste my money buying a whole new set now I know how annoying they are.

Nobody here appears to have the First Steps Plus then...

(chirp chirp)
"I am the bird"
(chirp)
(miaow miaow)
"I am the cat"

[repeat to fade]
[sit in redundancy meeting hearing nothing but CHEEP CHEEP "I am the bird"]
[makes wrong person redundant]

I'm a cow. I make milk. It's delicious and nutritious... fuck off you fucking lump of shit coloured plastic.
Has anyone noticed that when you have them all out, they sing their tunes in unison so you get Justin Fletcher 3 times in your living room and on the tv too.

I'm a useful helicopter, I like to fly everywhere, high in the sky, wave as I fly by!

And a fisher price puppy one, that's my tummy, tummy begins with t, t, u, m, m, y

We've foolishly bought the garage for DS for Christmas Now hoping I can find the receipt.

DS has a few toot toot cars. Me and DH found ourselves singing the songs after DS has gone to bed and arguing over the words. 'No, it's says I'm a cute little taxi, not smart'.

We've got the convertible toot toot car as well which randomly sings. 'Let's overtake other vehicles!'. Safe.

Three words BIG RED BUS, I finally killed the fucker and d dad bloody replaced it!!

Lets go to the zoo, hear the monkeys go oo, oo ,ooo, lets go to the zoo tight now.

Oh and Pal the talking puppy. Is that vetch?
Anyway DS got given one when he was a few weeks old and you can program them on the computer to say what the child's favourite food, colour and animal is.

2 years later I'm sick to death of 'my favourite colour is bluuuuuee and my favourite food is yog-hurt' but like hell can I be arsed to find the cable to reprogram it.

Also my fil bought it over from the US (cos we don't have them here in little old backward England ) and it has a hugely grating American accent.

I don't mind the Alfie bear too much although my baby is only 5 months old so I can limit how much it is played.
But the VTech nursery rhyme book - ffs!! Bought it for 50p at a fete and the thing is possessed. Cuts off mid song, restarts and the bell just rings randomly. The voice on it is very pervy!

We had that pink singing bear (I'm a hungry happy bear, hey come and hug me) and took it in the car on a journey to a tourist attraction about an hour away (don't ask me why, I always hated it). Then the b**d thing got stuck and wouldn't stop singing. No screwdriver to remove the battery. Left it in the car to run the battery down while we went to attraction. Got back to the car and it was still going. So we had to dump the thing in a bin outside the attraction, still singing loudly. I'm sure it went on for days...

Having said that I pove the toot toot fire engine's slightly operatic singing.

quotemeyoufuckers was actually coming on here to mention Alfie the friendly fucking light up bear. He's a cunt.

Thinking about buying the kiddising karaoke machine thing for my karaoke mad 6 year old simply for vtech's robustness and in a probably vain hope it will survive the younger sibling's best attempts to break it. Anyone got it ? Will I hate it after 5 mins?

I can't believe no one has mentioned the Toot Toot Friends House and it's matriarch Miss Norah. DH got it off free cycle. He couldn't figure out why anyone would be giving away for free...

Her gems of wisdom include 'I'm happy when everyone else is ' and 'I'm Miss Norah, my home is a special place, I love it oh so much'.

Dd, predictably, adores it.

We had a plastic electronic book of nursery rhymes. The woman singing sounded absolutely livid , especially for London Bridge is Burning Down. I think she may have set the fire herself...

No off switch, so it would randomly start up again in the toy box at night. This angry lady snarling nursery rhymes at 3am. I have visions of a frustrated thespian snarling that she'd rather be playing Lady Macbeth!

What does the rolly ball thing actually say? I've never worked it out...roll, roll, roll the ball the animals want to play, if you swallow the crocodile press the number 2?'

We've managed to avoid the toot toot cars, but we've got a teapot that sings:

It's always best to match your tea and cake
Look at all the colours, what matches can we make
If you're having yellow tea then lemon cake is nice
So pour yourself a cup and grab yourself a slice

Yellow tea?!

I tried to get rid of the ball and the spinning top in a recent toy purge but 'D'H made me keep them for potential DC2. But the bloody toot toot animals are the worst - "I'm a cheerful chicken" makes me feel.anything but. And I only bought them because I thought they'd pootle along the tracks in a cute way but THEY DON'T EVEN MOVE! You have to push the stupid things.

taxworries I think it is "press the shapes to learn their names, colours and numbers too."

Oh fuck I forgot about VTech!

I'm a little turtle, small and green, ready for an adventure, just you and me!

TURN THE GEARS ON MY SHELL!

I didn't know it was Justin Fletcher. I hate it even more now.

I despised each V-tech toy that passed the threshold. Each one of them was a present where some poor sucker had given their money away in the hope of showing love to the DCs.

I'm trying not to think too hard about the fish or the song will come back and haunt me 5 years on.

I can remember something petulantly demanding "play with me!" after being ignored for a few minutes. Shockingly rude behaviour for a toy

Fortunately the DCs weren't that keen on any of the Vtech stuff so it managed to disappear quite quickly.

When my DD has done a poo in her nappy, now all I hear is "NUMBER TWO" and a red button springs to mind

I had a random animal one as well. Ds threw one of the cars across the room and it said indignantly "go slowly near the animals!!" Never said that before or since!
I thought it was a friendly liker bear btw!
Yes we have a lot of v tech. Ds loves it!

Ds had the train track. I took it to work about 4 months ago for a window display. It is now in the staff room because a keep 'forgetting' to bring it home.

"IT IS MY DUTY TO MAINTAIN ORDER!"

The police car is just sinister

The toot toot panda 'I'm a sweet panda, cute an beautiful'. 18 month old DS has hidden it somewhere in his bedroom (God knows where I've looked everywhere). Every now and then I'll hear it pipe up.

We bought a few toot toot sets but DS only had to touch them and they collapsed. Luckily he isn't that interested in them!

Yanbu.