AIBU to be angry/ disappointed about this? Hen party related

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I am getting married in March next year and a relatively close friend is getting married soon before.

We met through work about three years ago and speak very regularly. I am already going to her hen and have paid an extortionate amount of money (£450) for one night in the UK. We have another mutual friend who couldn't go to this girl's hen and she moaned and moaned and bitched about that girl not going and still does saying she won't make the effort etc.

A bit of background on the friendship- this girl has been almost insistent we become very close saying she thinks of me as her best friend etc. I thought it was sweet and I do really like her but it was slightly OTT. Anyway...

I am getting my hen sorted for Jan. It's two nights in the UK but people can go for one night if they want to. My bridesmaids sent an email with details last night and this girl has sent me a message saying she doesn't know if she can make it because she may be on a spa weekend with her sister. It's not booked.

My hen is cheaper than hers, and considering she bitched about our other mutual friend for weeks for not going to her hen AIBU to be angry about this and consider re thinking the whole friendship?

I thought it was tradition for the hens to arrange the do for the bride? If all the girls had met up and discussed ideas, timings and budgets, it would have worked out better!

You do sound like quite a bitchy group of friends, all talking behind each other's backs.

Perhaps you have lost sight of the purpose of a hen do? It's a fun get together of your bridesmaids, and close female friends and relatives before your wedding, not a competition for the best event or a 'test' of friendship.

Whatever happened to a few drinks in the local town and a nice meal?
I couldn't be doing with the stress of either.

Exactly, JustinBobby. Who enjoys these entire weekends of 'fun' activities, holed up in some country hotel with no escape from the enforced fun and frivolity?
And if you can't attend, you have to face the fall out of being ostracized from the group or de friended and never spoken to again.

Why don't you tell her that you're disappointed she's not making the effort to attend. If she gets her back up, point out hat her weekend isn't booked and since she sees her sister every day, they could easily do it another weekend.

I'd find the double standard really irritating and would pull her up on it but there's no reason you can't express your disappointment.

i would be very upset. you're making a massive effort for her, which you already feel resentful about, and she's not really making any effort at all. the bitching about a mutual friend is not cool. i don't like bitchers.

anyway, any more price hikes and i'd be saying no. way too expensive already.

i would also say something to your friend - you could make a joke like ask her to lunch or is she washing her sister's hair that day?

She sounds awful
And you sound a bit daft