Be absolutely honest. If you could do it all again, would you have had kids ?

[Pisssssedofff]

I'll answer later.

Yes, definitely would do it again. But if I could go back and re-do it I'd make more of an effort to have a bigger stash of savings in the bank, as I didn't fully comprehend in advance that going part-time plus childcare would mean effectively going from two salaries to one and a quarter and scupper the chance of saving, and that the savings would run out pretty quickly. (I've always been a saver not a spender, so this hit me hard. )

I think I'd be dead without them, they're the only things that have stopped me in the grips of depression from doing something awful

However, without them, I wouldn't still be tied to exdp and maybe it would have been easier to get better quicker, to spend time on healing me rather than shoving all my stuff on the back burner due to them needing attention all the time til it overwhelms me and I have shit days til I can get it back under control again

I don't know, I adore them, cannot imagine life without them, they're the reason I get up in a morning and would walk on burning coals and broken glass etc for them but... I miss 'me' in it all

Definitely, I love my dcs very much and couldn't imagine being childless.

I would, but like Tempus I probably wouldn't do the stepmum thing again.

I would do a lot of things differently, starting with not quitting the stuff I found hard because the easier route was available.

If I didn't have my daughter I would have without a doubt travelled the world with my job and revolve my life around my work. It made me very happy but a part of me was missing.
Now I have my daughter I have just given up the work I love because work life balance was terrible and I have taken on a mundane job as a post woman, but work life balance is good, and the money too.
I love my daughter and my life revolves around her and giving her everything I can. She has brought out new passions in me such as cooking and baking. My whole life has changed but not for the worst.

There has been moments where things have been really hard and I've felt a bit trapped eg looking for a suitable job with suitable hours, not buying expensive clothes and looking my best because I provide my daughter with everything she needs + clubs she goes to. Routine everyday is very much the same, the constant mess of having a child, washing to do, dishes to do and toys everywhere but that's just life.
I love teaching her about the world, enjoy watching thrive at school and making friends, finding her own passions and Xmas is so much better with children!

Yes but I'd have had at least one more!

Goodness me yes. I just wish we'd managed to get pregnant earlier so I could have had more. I definitely feel like there is at least one child missing from our family. But reading this I realise I am super lucky. We were already well established in relatively high-paying jobs when we had kids, could afford a nanny, MIL lived reasonably close and could cover when nanny was ill etc. And so far (ages 7 and 9) the kids have had no major challenges etc.

Just waiting for teenage drama to kick in!

No. I had children in what I considered was a stable marriage. My ex was having an affair from before the first child was born. I am now stuck with 3 children, an ex who does very little and a deep resentment as this really isn't what I signed up to. My career prior to marriage involved a lot of travel and periods living abroad. I am stuck doing a job I hate so that my children can grow up near to their father. I feel trapped, angry and resentful that this is how it worked out. I love my children very much but I wouldn't have had them had I known this is how it would work out.

Yes but I wish I'd done it earlier - 42 now with a couple of teens and it's wearing me out! Wish I'd been younger for this bit like my parents were.

Yes!!!! and I had DS at 15 terrible, terrible. DS also has SEN.

I just wish that DS was brought up in better circumstances-- his father is an abusive, immature, useless excuse of a man. I think if I met a great man and he was supportive so so much better than DS dad, I would feel sad over the fact that I wish DS had something like that.

Obviously... I do miss the freedom and the lack of responsibility...eg. I loved reading and would read so many books but now DS is here, I don't think I've ever completed a book. I'll start it and I'll put it back down as I have XYZ to do regarding DS.

I do wish I travelled though.... But sometimes life doesn't go to plan. My love for my DS is unreal.

Yes without a doubt. They are my greatest joy in life and my proudest achievement

Even with 5 kids, I've only had 'teenage drama' with one - No 4. All the rets were super easy as teens, and my youngest - now 14 - is very laid back and good-natured, with none of the Kevin The Teenager rants whatsoever.

I've cried when No 4 has literally wished me dead. Then in his sane moments, he is his old, affectionate self. He's got this hormone thing BAD (although not so bad at 16 as he was at 15 - that was harder than having 5 kids under 11, two with special needs which was my situation when i moved to this house!)

To be completely honest - I can't say 100% yes I would. I love my dc more than anything and will fight to the hind teeth for them. But with SEN floating around - I miss feeling like a 'normal person' who can do whatever they like without the worry of the daily pickup from school to find out what has gone wrong today and the battle with the NHS staff and education system to get the help they need. I'm tired of it all and I worry incessantly about what they will do once full time education finishes. :(

No.

I don't know what I was expecting, but this wasn't it. I had a different childhood and have respect for my mum. I never have and would never dream of speaking to her the way my ds's speak to me. a lack of respect. and its not just my children, I see this in all children, all across the board, when I'm out, other children, my children's friends - who are indeed very nice children, but are also like this.

I find children these days, not just mine, have little respect and are totally unappreciative of how good they have it, how hard their parents work to make sure life is good.

So, no, I wouldn't. When I think of what life would have been like for dh and I, if we hadn't had kids, then I think that is what we should have done.

Absolutely.

We were in the car the other day, and the kids were messing about, and we all started howling with laughter.

And I thought - without kids, there's no way I would have this much fun and laughter and silliness in my life, on a regular basis.

A massive YES and that is from someone who didn't want children. I got pregnant with DD when I was 23 and then after she was born we never had anymore. Not choice really, just left it and left it and then it was too late.
I'm 52 now and I can honestly say that my only regret in life is that I didn't have more children.

Yes wish I had started earlier so could have 2. Adore my one and only though.

Love love my kids.

However had first ones in my very early twenties and last 2 in my late 30s so been a mum for years.

Now older ones have chikdren who I adore but now I look after them part time and still have teens.

My life has been all about other people who obviously I adore.

Dh has worked all over the world and if I hadn't had kids I would have gone with him.

My kids have had school trips and gap years all over the world and I haven't been anywhere really.

Been a sahm for years and years.

Love love love my kids but would love to have a parallel life where I have no responsibilities and can jet around the world with dh.

Yes but wish I'd started earlier and have doubted that I could raise a child on own. Still planning to have more but wondering if I'll have the energy as I get older.

To be honest I hate trying to make ends meet all the time and there are times I wish I could run away from it all but it's all worth it when I see my DS happy and laughing. If I had the money I'd probably be trying again now.

No probably not, and if I did, I would stop at 1.

Absolutely yes. I'd have 2 or 3. I'm desperate for another but far too fat to try at the moment.

I think if dh and I had not had dc we would be having quite a nice life - meals out, walking in the hills, travelling. And not nearly so much financial worry. But there would be something missing.

It's been an incredible journey really - with a huge amount of stress, but I don't think I could replicate the happiness they give me with meals out and trips abroad.

So yes I would do it again.

I am surprised at the number of people responding with 'no' or 'probably not' who seem to have more than one child. What was the reason for having more children? Did you not realise how you felt until later?

to Tempus.

I agree with you on the step mum thing.

I'm not sure I can really answer the question as I'm sure if I'd never had a baby I'd constantly be wondering "what if"

However I do wish I'd waited til I was a little older - I'm in my twenties.