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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Trick or treaters letting themselves in

277 replies

Backaffyaspookybitch · 31/10/2016 18:41

First off, I've had a hard day so I might be slightly narky.

My DS has been ill all day - loaded with the cold and a temp of 39. I've just picked him up from my mum's (been at work all day) and trying to get him into a cool bath and get some calpol down down him. He's just miserable and my DH is working away.

I put him in the bath and I hear the door. I know it'll be trick or treaters but I can't leave my son in the bath (he's 2) so I decide to just ignore it and see if they come back later.

Oh no. The door opens and in walks the boy from next door whom I do know accompanied by 4 or 5 other children! Their mums are standing at the bottom of my garden shrieking with laughter and encouragement.

These children were standing in my hall way shouting and laughing Confused

I got my DS out the bath, ran down the stairs and I asked them to leave and closed the door.

I actually got a bit of a shock that they'd be so bold!

I never even gave them sweets Sad

WIBU to ask them to leave?

OP posts:
Pritchyx · 02/11/2016 00:39

I live in the countryside in a tiny village - I've forgotten to lock my door numerous times and never had anyone stroll in - I will tell close friends/family to just let themselves in incase I'm upstairs when they arrive. However, the one night I hadn't locked the door and was about 11pm and had gone to bed, I had some little shit do a knock door run on me... Scared the life out of me and door remains locked every night from 7:30pm onwards. If I'm home, I don't bother locking it during the day. The house is tiny and I'd hear anyone walking up my pathway if I'm in the front room.

How you haven't already given those mothers a right mouthful I will never know. I'd of gone ballistic. If the shoe was on the other foot, I bet they'd of gone nuts... They are seriously in the wrong. You do not let anybody into your home unless otherwise stated so why they encouraged their kids is beyond me... Whatever happened to stranger danger and privacy of your own home??

FrancisCrawford · 02/11/2016 07:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrancisCrawford · 02/11/2016 07:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

user1474625604 · 02/11/2016 08:09

I would be fuming. Completely unacceptable. I can't believe the parents were just laughing too unless, like a PP, said, they thought you had opened the door and not the kids.

In regards to the locked door debate, I live in a farmhouse, we lock the door when no-one is in and we lock it most times overnight, but it's never locked while we're there. Namely when I am there and I leave it unlocked when I go to bed as my OH is a contractor so comes back all hours of the night and I'd rather he wasn't crashing about in the dark looking for a key (TAKE A KEY WITH YOU!)
My Ma lives in a farmhouse (on another farm) and her door is rarely locked. I would guess 50:50 as to whether it's locked overnight and rarely in the day.
It isn't the safest, but it's the mentality in the country I think, maybe old-fashioned, but you trust your neighbours more perhaps. Also any thieves would be a lot more interested in what's in our barns than what is in our houses!

BarbaraofSeville · 02/11/2016 08:35

I know several people (who live in nice areas in the suburbs of a large city) who have had handbags, laptops and cars stolen by people walking into unlocked houses in daylight when the occupants were at home.

We have latches on our doors, which we use when we are at home and would never leave doors unlocked. If you were upstairs a sneak in thief could have entered your house without making any noise and taken all manner of valuables without you knowing and been in and out in seconds.

The trick or treaters were totally wrong though.

Offred · 02/11/2016 09:16

Yes the kids shouldn't have opened the door and walked in - that was silly and risky and rude. The parents were stupid to laugh but Halloween is also about being silly and it was your neighbour so presumably they know you and felt safer doing it as a 'trick'.

They didn't know your child was sick.

No actual harm was done, just a bit of stress.

I think if it causes you so much stress then you should have locked the door, especially on Halloween.

They shouldn't have come in, you should have locked the door... meh... fine to tell the parents it upset you and wasn't funny.

I don't think that leaving a door unlocked because it is a faff to get the key is great really either - easy for someone to walk in and take stuff though unlikely and TBH I leave my back door unlocked frequently, once for a period of weeks because I couldn't find the key. If someone had come in when I didn't want to or I had been robbed then I would have accepted partial responsibility for not securing my property.

Offred · 02/11/2016 09:20

And no it is not victim blaming to point out about locking the door. People have a legal duty to makes sure their property is secure and safe. If you don't lock the door and someone comes in and is injured you can be sued for negligence.

Offred · 02/11/2016 09:20

Yes, even though they are trespassing.

BlancheDuBois2 · 02/11/2016 09:25

I never lock the front door when I'm in the house. What if there's a fire and you need to get out in a hurry? Am I overthinking?

Serialweightwatcher · 02/11/2016 10:05

I would have locked the door, but in any event that is downright rude and the parents should have made sure that wouldn't happen - I'd have been fuming and they wouldn't have got any sweets either - why don't these parents teach manners? Hope your DS feels better very soon Biscuit

bobgoblin23 · 02/11/2016 10:06

Yesterday 21:42 itstimeforchange

Bobgoglin I'm confused, why were you encouraging your child to try door handles?!

I didn't encourage!! One door opened by itself as part of the fun. The owners pulled the door open with string, played scary music then jumped out at DS. He loved it so much the next house we went to he tried the handle after ringing the bell.

Each time he tried the handle I told him not to. One house then ended up with the escaped dog. There was no encouragement from my side. Pretty insulting other posters suggest I stood back and watched. Angry

Idratherbeaunicorn · 02/11/2016 10:11

Everyone that is saying "you should have locked your door" - NO, people shouldn't "try" the handle if there is no answer, and even if someone does try the handle and the door opens, you most certainly don't go into someones house!!!
This isn't about the OPs door being unlocked, its about the manners of the very rude children, and their rude parents!

RiverTam · 02/11/2016 10:21

If DD did this that would be an immediate end to her trick or treating.

Offred · 02/11/2016 10:26

Idrather - TBF it is about both issues. You have a responsibility to take reasonable steps to prevent accident and injury on your property. If someone trespasses on your property you still have a responsibility to make sure they are safe. Locking the door is the most basic thing. It is quite negligent to not lock your door, that is why ppl get a personal injury payment if they get bitten by your dog and why insurance doesn't pay out if you get things nicked.

Offred · 02/11/2016 10:27

And no, that is in no way saying everyone can go around letting themselves into each other's houses. If you don't have permission that is trespass.

Mynestisfullofempty · 02/11/2016 10:36

To all the people who don't lock their doors - would your insurance company pay out if you had things stolen? I thought you had to take adequate steps to protect your property and leaving your door unlocked seems inadequate to me.

user1474627704 · 02/11/2016 11:08

Insurance doesn't require that your door be locked when you are in the house, that would be unworkable for many people.

Plus I don't have any insurance anyway, so moot point for me.

Offred · 02/11/2016 11:32

What is 'unworkable' about locking your door?

FrancisCrawford · 02/11/2016 13:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Horsepower9 · 02/11/2016 14:00

Jayzus they were a couple if excited kids one of whome lives next door and probably visits often op?? It sounds like they just caught you at a bad time and you over reacted? They prob wouldn't have done that at any other time of the year? There just kids dosnt it say 'it takes a village to raise a child' ? See it for what it is just a couple of excited kids.

Aeroflotgirl · 02/11/2016 15:05

Why the hell should people lock the door Hmm, I have deliveries throughout the day, it would be very irritating having to keep finding my key to open the door! What if there was a fire, I needed to get me and my family out. It is victim blaming and it is wrong. Children should not be barging in somebody else house, its trespassing! What that person had a unpredictable dog, or that person is not savoury, or they are vulnerable, and you scared the life out of them! Not acceptable. Knock if there is no reply, go away!

Offred · 02/11/2016 15:07

Because just like entering someone's property may be trespassing, not locking your door may be negligent.

I can't understand why people find using a key so 'unworkable' or onerous.

Aeroflotgirl · 02/11/2016 15:10

Its not negligent, its victim blaming. That person, has no reason to enter the property. Its my right to have my door unlocked and not expect people to keep coming in.

Aeroflotgirl · 02/11/2016 15:10

Its the same as saying women should watch what they wear, and to not go out in the dark just in case.

diddl · 02/11/2016 15:14

Our door needs a key from the outside, whether ot not it has been locked from the inside.