I live with DH, DS1 (age 6.5), and DS2 (age 3). DH works long hours and I'm currently a SAHM. During the week the kids are busy with school, activities, and homework for DS1 -- if feels like we're always running around.
So far this has been a pretty typical weekend for us: yesterday we were out with friends and did some Halloween stuff with our neighbors. Today the kids woke up around 7 and we let them have some iPad time -- probably too much, about 2-3 hours, more or less, so DH and I could sleep in. They each had a breakfast bar early and then DH got up and made them proper breakfast, which was eaten while watching a show on the iPad. When it was time to turn off the screens, there was much whining and protesting, to the point where I had to pull it out of DS2's hands. We then sat down as a family and carved pumpkins, cooked the seeds, and put up some Halloween decorations. DH cleaned up from that while I did some homework with DS1 and played a bit with DS2. Then DH needed to do a bit of work and I had to do some house stuff, so we told the kids they needed to play on their own. If it matters, we have a nice (enough) home with space to play, a decent-sized garden and tonnes of books, toys, games, Lego, craft stuff, etc.
This all sounds perfectly fine, right? But it's not. This whole morning has been a NIGHTMARE. The kids (especially DS1) have done nothing but whine, complain, fighy, talk back, and generally behave miserably. And this is not unusual -- it's always like this on weekends unless we have a specific activity planned. They have plenty of days out, weekends away, birthday parties, play dates, trips to the playground, swimming, etc. But why can't we spend a relaxing weekend morning at home without entertaining them every second? Today is particularly long bc of the time change, but it's always like this. Today DH finally caved and took them to the local playground but they were back in 15 minutes because they were so miserable there.
Both kids are the issue, but DS1 in particular has always been virtually unable to entertain himself alone at home. That was understandable when he was smaller, but now he is almost 7. He will occasionally play with Lego or do a craft but even then he comes to us every 3 minutes to show us what he's done. Even when he's playing with his brother he constantly comes and reports every little thing they are doing. The ONLY thing that keeps him occupied is TV or iPad, but we're not willing to just let him do that for hours on end. To be fair, we moved last year and he has made nice friends, but not as many as he had before and they don't seem to be around much on weekends. But we really do keep him pretty busy.
DH thinks we bring it on ourselves because we know they will be like this at home and we try it anyway. He thinks we should schedule them in more weekend activities. But I think they have enough activities and we are catering to them by entertaining them every minute, and maybe they just have to learn how to be at home. But in the meantime it's misery for everyone.
What are we doing wrong? Should we be scheduling them in a million activities so they have no downtime? Should we just let them rot in front of screens all day? Or AIBU to expect an occasional relaxing morning/day at home with the kids?