To have said I don't want to feel like a Mum

[cjt110]

Tonight, DH and I had a heart to heart about some things and I said to him, whilst I love our son with every bit of my being, sometimes I just don't want to feel like a Mum. I want to be me. A wife. A Mum. All these things. Just not one.

Please tell me I'm not alone

YANBU! I have just started working vv part time after having 9 yrs out as a SAHP and the thing I love most about it is feeling like just me again, not me the wife or me the mother.

Yanbu and yabu

I know what you mean. But perhaps redefine what being a "mum" means.

To me it is about being responsible for my children. But I am also a role model and coach to my dcs which means showing them how to be a rounded adult. Eg working, having hobbies, doing exercise etc etc. Not just centering my whole life around them.

Perhaps you meant not only like a mum?

Valuable for yourself not just as an adjunct of another person?

That's not unreasonable at all.

I'm sure you're not alone. But, I'm not really sure what you mean. I am a mum, as a fact, but I don't feel like a mum, I just feel like me. I do parenting things that I didn't used to do, but they don't define me, iyswim.

What's stopping you from feeling like just you? Can you pin it down?

cjt110

you can be all of these things . You can be a mum, and still be you, the same way that you can be a professional x... insert job title here..xx during the day and a party animal at the weekend.
The only thing that changes is that you put your kids first, and they are always in the back of your mind. Becoming a mum does not have to mean you have to disappear entirely, thank god!