Weekends - Who is BU?

[Everanewbie]

I'm hoping you folks could offer an opinion for me.

I work one weekend per month and weekdays and my partner works mon-fri 9-5.

I have moved for work and my partner visits at weekends and generally one weeknight on the train.

I have a very busy Nov/Dec, a hen do in November, working first weekend in Dec, a wedding that he isn't invited to in Scotland, then a wedding he is invited to again in Scotland. I am staying on in scotland for my birthday and christmas as i have an elderly auntie who is unlikely to see next christmas. He cant stay in scotland as he's used all his holiday.

So, he has just found out that the second weekend in Nov I am flying to scotland to support my mother in her AGM for her school, and he's hit the roof. He's said that he moves heaven and earth to see me at weekends, and long daily train rides after work and that he is hurt i've organised this when there is so much going on. He's angry at my mother for putting pressure on me to go to this AGM, and says he's tempted to get back in to his county sport that he gave up so we could spend time together. My mum says he's trying to control me. The distance and lack of time we get puts a strain on us, but AIBU to go to this AGM?

I think it's unfair that he does all the travelling, even if he does live with his parents. Do you at least offer to help pay for his petrol/train fares if he's the one doing all the long journeys?

That aside, this is the reality of long-distance relationships. Life gets in the way and other things happen that don't include your partner. When you live ten minutes apart, it's not an issue because you can just meet up the next day or go to dinner instead of lunch, but when seeing each other requires forward planning and money, it's hard.

I can understand why your DP is struggling, but I can see your side too. You can't help the way the events have fallen. But I think you could possibly be a bit more sympathetic to his feelings too. Apologise and offer to see him midweek a couple of times, if that's possible.

Thanks everyone. We've had a calmer chat. He's more upset that I've gone for this despite the other things going on. He acknowledges that he said it was ok, but didn't realise how much is happening over that time. He said he never expected me to cancel, he was as much shocked at my attitude(!) as he was the fact I'd booked it. We've made some nice plans for bonfire night and new year so hopefully everything is settling down.

Good luck OP :)