To think it's impossible not to cosleep while breastfeeding?

[tootiredtothinkofaclevername]

Has anyone done it? Tell me how - I'm desperate! With DS we had a cosleeper crib attached to the bed. He never went in it. Every time I fed him and transferred him across he woke up and screamed. I put it down to his reflux. I was so sleep deprived because I was constantly worried about smothering him with the duvet. Now I have DD and a similar set up only I've added a sleepyhead to the cot. While she doesn't scream it does wake her up and she just wants to feed again! She's only 4 days old but I just don't want to relive the sleep deprivation.

So tell me - is it possible? What the hell am I getting wrong?

We co sleep half the night. Goes down for sleep a few hours before I go to bed (in a co-sleeper but with the side up and moved an inch away from the bed - I found he would try and fling himself into the bed with the side down!) and sleeps around 5 hours.
He wakes up and feeds and put him back in crib.
1 hour later wakes up again and is then I bring him into the bed because he won't settle after this waking / feed though is clearly still half asleep and extremely tired. He doesn't feed an awful lot now when co sleeping, just seems to sleep a lot better in between us (or sometimes lying on my chest for a bit if he's gassy).
He's 3.5 months and I'm so glad we've got this little routine down now. I did and didn't want to co sleep really ... it's easy but I wanted to be able to put the baby to sleep and have an hour or two away really. Have found he doesn't even seem to notice now in his deepest sleep. I can't see the 2nd half of the night becoming settled all of a sudden any time soon so imagine we'll be doing this for months more

Right, what I did in the very early days with my cosleeper cot was to put DS2 in it and then wriggle my torso over so it was more like cosleeping. Once he was asleep I'd wriggle back. I think I only had to do that for the first couple of weeks then he grew in confidence and was happy to be slid across and sleep.

It's a myth that formula fed babies sleep/settle better, it makes no difference. You could breastfeed on a strict routine if you wanted to, it's just you wouldn't know how much they're getting.

Can you get up to feed? My DS would be disturbed too if I moved him while he was laying down, but if he fell asleep in my arms I could just put him down.

I slept with duvet at waist height and warm clothes on my body. I was cold one night and pulled the duvet up higher just to get me warm. I fell asleep and woke an hour and a half later with a very hot and sweaty baby. That freaked me out as it was very dangerous and didn't do it again. At about 5 months I started expressing in the morning before the first feed so that I could bottle feed at night and get dd through with just one night feed. Co sleeping is fine as long as you're careful op. Dd did sleep in her Moses basket next to me a lot of the time. We co slept when she was dinky inside my nightdress, it was summertime and warm. She also slept on dhs chest as a newbie - both recommended by independent midwife.

I never coslept. I spent the first 3 months on the sofabed, which wouldn't have been safe, then went back to our bed, which is memory foam therefore not safe. I got her out of her basket, fed her and put her back asleep. Once she was over the phase of screaming until 4am, it was relatively ok. DH did Friday nights with expressed milk, which enabled me to get one good night a week.

Have u tried white noise? It's the only way my daughter will settle by herself

I never co slept. Moses basket by bed. Cluster feeding at night will get less

I think I'm going to try the blanket with handles as well. I have been avoiding sitting up to feed because I have piles from the delivery that are deserving of being named they are so big. She's such a grunty little thing I think sometimes I offer boob too quickly. I'm off to google block feeding as well.

For whatever reason she's happy most of the time to go into her sleepyhead or Moses basket during the day if I put her on her side but I'm only happy to do that if I'm sat right there with her.

Thank you to everyone who has offered suggestions. Here's a pic of the little grunty night terror.

I'm not sure how much cluster feeding we ever really did at night. It was more an evening thing here. I did have the hourly waking for weeks and weeks and I was truly about to collapse most days but that seemed to switch quite suddenly. I really think it was gas more than anything. Also of course it wasn't hourly he'd wake up but hourly I'd actually wake up! I wonder if hourly is the least amount of sleep a person needs to function? Certainly I'd usually think "oh I'll get up in 2 minutes" and sometimes actually sleep for 20 because I was physically unable to respond any sooner.
Co-sleeping really helped us get through a rough period and I'm glad it's now a half night thing only. It can definitely be done safely and is much better than being so over tired you fall asleep on the sofa which is genuinely dangerous

We had 2 babies who would happily sleep in their baskets in the day but ended up co sleeping with both for 5 months til they went into their own rooms. My DH decamped to the spare room/sofa. Tbh I just couldn't handle the lack of sleep with them waking up every hour or so when they were sleeping on their own.

Not rtft yet, but if you want to Co sleep you should. Everyone I know has or does, it is very common and much easier when breastfeeding. Especially in the early months when you are feeding throughout the night.

I felt safest with separate duvets for me and my partner and baby in a sleeping bag. It also doesn't have to be forever if you don't want it to. I moved my baby into his own room at 6 months and we no longer regularly Co sleep as I'd had enough of it!

I really valued the time that we did Co sleep though. It can be a real life saver and sometimes there is nothing nicer than sleeping with your tiny baby curled up beside you.

I would suggest swaddling her in the sleepyhead. When swaddled they are let likely to start themselves awake, and them also they can remain wrapped whilst fed so easier to transfer back

Aaah congratulations OP. I co slept unintentionally with both my boys as i was quite damaged after birth and they had reflux. I always slept in a spare room for the first couple of months.

I now have dd1 who is 7 days old and will only sleep at night laying across my chest with a boob in her mouth. She wakes about every 45 mins - 1 hour for a 20-30 min feed. So not co sleeping would be really hard. I am again in a tranquil spare room (with the door firmly shut) while dh copes with the still night waking 4 and 2 year olds!

I breastfed two till 15 and 18mo. Didn't co-sleep. They both went into a cot from newborn. However, I have the cot in our room until nearly a year when they slept through consistently. I can't be bothered walking out of the bedroom, took them to our bed, feed and then put them back into the cot. If the nursery is big enough to have a feeding chair, I might have moved them out earlier.

I ebf dd until 2.5 yes old and co slept. Did could feed on demand. I think this saved my sanity. I am a LP so did not have a DH to worry about. Look at some if the Scandinavian countries where co sleeping is the norm.

*DD could

Also I just wanted to add that co-sleeping has always felt 'right' for me in the early days. Babies (my babies anyway!) Just want to be held. They feel safest where it's warm and familiar - basically pressed up against your body and preferably with a boob in their mouth. It feels very primal and instinctive to co-sleep.

I'm sure the human race have been sleeping this way for longer than we've used cribs, cots, moses baskets, etc...

We did it (easy baby though!) things that helped were 1. Taking something I had worn, t shirt, nursing bra etc and putting it in co-sleeping cot with DD 2. Warming cot slightly with hot water bottle 3. Holding hand on her while she dropped off. I am all for co-sleeping where you can make it work but was just too nervous to try it as I move around a lot in my sleep.

Sleepyhead in snuzpod here. Fed every 3 hours, never co slept. Well actually I have done recently when DS unwell but he's 9 months now. He was 5 weeks early and small so never felt safe cosleeping when he was little.

No helpful advice but that's one beautiful baby you've got there

Cocoonababy. Google it.

Welshgirlwannabe - completely agree. Cosleeping is only made hazardous by other modern inventions - bedding, alcohol, drugs, formula feeding (before anyone flames not that there is anything wrong with formula feeding, but it isn't appropriate to cosleep if you are).

We are the only mammals who seem to feel we need to keep our distance from tiny sleeping babies!

At 4 days there is no best way!

I use the sleepyhead in a cot next to the bed and don't co-sleep with my 3 month old. I definitely did sleep by any means necessary for the first month, but after that I've been able to transition her to the sleepyhead. Some nights I fight the urge to co-sleep but so far so good.

I co sleep. Put the top corner of your duvet between your thighs, with the duvet coming up over your shoulders. The duvet will be nowhere near baby. Baby will have plenty of space between you and the co-sleeper. You won't roll onto baby because you're more aware than you think. Just don't put her in between you and DH. Enjoy!

What a gorgeous baby!!!!