To think it's impossible not to cosleep while breastfeeding?

[tootiredtothinkofaclevername]

Has anyone done it? Tell me how - I'm desperate! With DS we had a cosleeper crib attached to the bed. He never went in it. Every time I fed him and transferred him across he woke up and screamed. I put it down to his reflux. I was so sleep deprived because I was constantly worried about smothering him with the duvet. Now I have DD and a similar set up only I've added a sleepyhead to the cot. While she doesn't scream it does wake her up and she just wants to feed again! She's only 4 days old but I just don't want to relive the sleep deprivation.

So tell me - is it possible? What the hell am I getting wrong?

[LightDrizzle]

I used a Moses basket at the foot of the bed (only becuase there wasn't enough space by th side). I think swaddling helped a lot with mine, it made them a relatively firm, warm bundle to place back in the basket, got around any cool spot issue, and prevented them waking themselves with their like twitches and jerks. My eldest was a spluttery, windy feeder by day but our night feeds were calm and relatively speedy, I think she was only ever half awake as I used to wake up as her breathing changed and she made pre-feed snuffles and grunts so she got to the breast without winding herself up to crying.

[Ketsby]

Baby in own room.

Woke. Went in. Breastfed. Walked out. She slept.

Not 'impossible'. That said, co-sleeping was absolutely not an option as I had no desire to do it. On a few occasions if she did not settle and cried I would go back into the room and shush, settle, whatever, but the very idea of coming into my bed was never planted in her head, so it was never an option.

I found both babies slept a lot better in their own rooms. Their snuffles didn't wake us and ours didn't wake them. Both immediately dropped one of their night wakings upon going into their own room.

[tootiredtothinkofaclevername]

Thank you to whomever suggested the heating pad - it's done the trick! Last night I warmed the sleepyhead every time I was feeding her and then popped her back in no problem. I slept soooo much better not worrying about her all night. Cheers MN!

[SnowWhite33]

I personally would not be able to relax cosleeping with a newborn, even if its all set up according to safety standards etc etc.
So we just had a moses basket on a stand next to our bed for the first 3 months or so. Worked out perfectly, first feeding on demand then from about 8 weeks settled into a more predictable schedule.
This way didnt get into a habbit of cosleeping into toddlerhood which i know some of my friends had lots of trouble.
P.s my LO also had reflux

[MuseumOfCurry]

Aw, congratulations OP - your baby is beautiful!

[Butterpuff]

I co-sleep more often now dd is 20 months and not BF than we did when she was BF. We had a side cot and I would put her back in that after a feed, put on some tunes for her to listen too and put a hand on her tummy till she was back to sleep, or I fell asleep. We used to tuck her in quite tightly with a blanket so she couldn't wriggle around too much, but not quite swaddled as her arms were always out.

[sycamore54321]

artandco sorry I only saw your question now. I don't have links to research at my finger tips but a couple of things I recall from reading is (1) Japanese bedding is typically far harder and lower than even firm western mattresses and bedding. Sleeping on a futon on the floor is not what Europeans would imagine is meant by this. The OP has no suggested that this is an option she wants to pursue. 2. There is huge variation in SIDS rates based on ethnicity, which suggests either or both cultural and genetic causes. US research shows that Asian-Americans have SIDS rates that are less than half of other ethnic groups. It is not known why. If we can presume that a large swathe of the Japanese population shares some of this Asian ethnicity, then it is not surprising that Japanese SIDS rates are low (but not non-existent). This tells us nothing though about whether it is safe for a family without predominately Asian genes to co-sleep using the type of bedding arrangements typical of Britain. 3. SIDS is not the only risk of co-sleeping. Lots of other risks like suffocation under an adult's body and falls from beds can equally cause devastating harm to babies and can be almost entirely eliminated by following the current guideline of baby in own cot/basket. It is ill-informed and dangerous to blithely throw about assertions like 'Japanese babies all co-sleep and they are all fine and don't suffer SIDS' when the causes are so poorly understood and the circumstances so complex that direct comparisons are possible.

OP I'm glad the heating the sheet trick is working for you, and I hope everyone in your family, baby included, is getting a little more rest and that you can yourself relax a little without the worry.

[EC22]

I co slept with all mine, it just felt right and made breastfeeding so much easier x