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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take my 3 year old out of 'term time' with his Childminder

59 replies

whyamIheree · 27/10/2016 21:35

My Son has just turned 3 (i4 days ago). He gets 15 free hours as I'm currently on income support. I live a very isolated live, away from my Family. I moved here for my now ex as he is from here. His Family see our Son every week.

My Parents do not drive and are carers for my Autistic nephew who they have every weekend (Brother has serious disabilities himself and is a Single Parent). I try and go down to visit my Parents when it's convenient and stay for two weeks. I love it, My Son absolutely loves it. He goes to the seaside, he plays with his Cousins, he never wants to go home.

I chose a good childminder for my Son who he sees for 15 hours a week. He enjoys it, I wouldn't say he absolutely loves it but he's happy to go and play with the children.

I wasn't able to go to my Parents this half term so I had planned to go in three weeks time but my Son's Dad has said I'm not taking him out of term time with his Childminder. I was like 'what term time'. Now I'm sorry but it's not like he's 4 and in compulsory education! He's only just turned 3!!! The Childminder doesn't ind as she gets paid anyway. He learns more with my Parents than he does with her as he gets so much attention and love.

I don't see any problem in visiting my parents for two weeks with my 3 year old. AIBU?

OP posts:
Trifleorbust · 27/10/2016 21:36

No.

booellesmum · 27/10/2016 21:39

No - still trying to get my head around the concept of terms at a childminder.

Mozismyhero · 27/10/2016 21:39

Not at all.

CurtainsforRonnie · 27/10/2016 21:39

YANBU

yesterdaysunshine · 27/10/2016 21:40

Not BU at all but wouldn't a nursery be better for him?

Mummyamy123 · 27/10/2016 21:41

No. Do it :) works for you and I'm sure your childminder will be happy with the break!

MiniAlphaBravo · 27/10/2016 21:41

Yanbu. There's no such thing as term time when you're 3. Your ex seems to still be controlling you if you moved to a new town for his sake away from family and isolated yourself?! He doesn't get to dictate your whole life.

Geillis · 27/10/2016 21:41

Out of term-time? What's he on about? Pre-school childcare doesn't have 'terms'. Is he paying the childminder, is that why he's saying no?

Starlight2345 · 27/10/2016 21:42

Of course it isn't unreasonable..Its not school.

I am a childminder to be honest I encourage my parents to go term time holidays while the children aren't in school. I plan what we are doing to give children opportunity to develop.. All learning is just play at this age.

Does he have any reason for his bizairre attitude?

Rainydayspending · 27/10/2016 21:42

No. That's odd. Is ex a teacher? I just can't see the relevance.

Original poster
whyamIheree · 27/10/2016 21:42

He's going to nursery in September. He's not better off in Nursery, he gets more individual attention with a Childminder and prefers outdoors to being in one room.

OP posts:
Geillis · 27/10/2016 21:42

YANBU btw.

slightlypeevedwombat · 27/10/2016 21:43

Sounds like your ex (? Hopefully) is trying to control you via your DC

Ignore him and visit your family

slightlypeevedwombat · 27/10/2016 21:43

I'd also look at moving back to your home town if that's feasible

Original poster
whyamIheree · 27/10/2016 21:45

I think he has a weird crush on the Childminder to be honest.She's a married woman, has no interest in him, he knows that, but I think he fancies her. Don't know if that would affect his thinking.

He has a slight obsession with how wonderful she is, how our Son is brilliant with her, She's taught him so much. No matter what he learns he says it's her that taught him it and not me. It's nasty but I ignore it. It's stupidity at best.

OP posts:
yesterdaysunshine · 27/10/2016 21:46

I thought all three year olds got fifteen free hours in the UK for nursery.

cece · 27/10/2016 21:47

I agree - if I were you I would look into moving back nearer to your own family.

Original poster
whyamIheree · 27/10/2016 21:47

I can't wait to move back near my family. Unfortunately until I get a job I can't. I'm qualified with a professional degree but it's hard to get a job in the area my parents are from. Sometime I think of just moving back without a job and transferring my council house but then I fear I might never find work. So it's a tough one.

OP posts:
Original poster
whyamIheree · 27/10/2016 21:48

Yes all 3 years old get 15 hours free. I got the 2 year funding too because of my income support. Thats what I meant.

OP posts:
PoldarksBreeches · 27/10/2016 21:50

3 year olds get free hours in the term following their 3rd birthday so not right away.

yesterdaysunshine · 27/10/2016 21:51

No but still when they are three. Anyway splitting hairs. Bonkers system that someone not working gets free hours though - sorry op, obviously that's not your fault!

Original poster
whyamIheree · 27/10/2016 21:51

And yes I would only have got in from Janurary if I'd not been on income support.

OP posts:
Original poster
whyamIheree · 27/10/2016 21:52

I would much rather be working. The free hours were essential for me to apply for jobs and get some sanity/childfree hours.

OP posts:
yesterdaysunshine · 27/10/2016 21:53

No comment!

AndNowItsSeven · 27/10/2016 21:55

Yanbu, ex is being ridiculous.