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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask your regrets

118 replies

cjt110 · 27/10/2016 16:54

I turn 30 in December and I'm not sure why but it has made me start thinking about my life and what it has turned out like.

We moved around a lot when I was a kid - not just locally but from one end of the country to another, to a completely different town. I studied at a uni in the next city.

My regret is I have no really close friends. The ones you've known all your life. I guess this is partly because we moved around and also, because as my Mum says, you have life stage friends.

I also regret being the follower in most friendships, rather than the equal/leader. I always feel on the outside.

OP posts:

PumpkinPie2016 · 29/10/2016 20:20

I really regret not joining the police from being very young that was my ambition but I'm my teens my family did everything they could to talk me out of it and make me feel bad for wanting to do it.

I am lucky in a way that I do enjoy the job I do now but I wish I hadn't let them.influence me so much.

At almost 30, I bitterely regret not following that path.

PumpkinPie2016 · 29/10/2016 20:21

In not I'm - stupid auto correct!

nennyrainbow · 29/10/2016 20:21

Some of these are really sad and thought- provoking.

I'd like to add a trivial one. I regret opening a bottle of beer with my teeth about 15 years ago. That one broken tooth has cost me about £1500 in dental treatment so far. And ruined a diving holiday.

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer · 29/10/2016 20:22

Goodness nenny

I used to know someone who opened beer bottles with their teeth

It was their party trick

nennyrainbow · 29/10/2016 23:28

I had done it lots of times before and then one time the tooth just broke off. Needless to say, I use a bottle opener now or just drink wine.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 30/10/2016 00:02

Not kick starting my life earlier ... not following my own path earlier ... believing others' versions of me rather than believing in who I always knew I was ... following others' perceived paths for me not my own. Grrrr!!! So much wasted time. Could have been someone else entirely ...

Namechangenumber10 · 30/10/2016 00:53

I regret not trying to start a family sooner. I've spent a year having devastating miscarriages, I always thought it might take a year or so to get pregnant.. Never in my wildest nightmares did I think I would be spending that time getting pregnant and losing my babies.

I wish I'd started this years ago because then maybe this nightmare would be behind me and I would have healthy children by now. But then I don't know if my younger self would have coped with the trauma tbh. Perhaps I wouldn't have had miscarriages at all if I was younger.

A couple of midwives have made remarks about my advancing age (I'm 32). The regret at leaving it this 'late' when I never even realised it was late is consuming me at the moment.

dublingirl48653 · 30/10/2016 01:01

I have three -
I regret not answering my brother's email - he drowned the following day

I regret saying something mean to my dad when he went missing once

I regret not bringing my mother on her last trip to the home she was born in - she died the next week

seaswimming · 30/10/2016 01:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SylvieB74 · 30/10/2016 02:59

Not getting help when I was sexually abused for a year when I was 9/10

Getting back in touch with my old bitch of an alcoholic mother who left me when I was 14 (all she's ever done is use me for money)

Not getting a good education at school (but the teachers didn't really help me because I was a scruffy tramp from a broken home/council est.

No career.

Staying in a crap boring job with bullying bitches for so long (16-22years)

Letting my husbands niece who hates me live with us for a year.

Wasting money.
Getting fat (ish)
Messing up my teeth (receding gums)

Everything's good now though 🙂
I'm 41 been married to a lovely man since I was 16 and we have 3 beautiful children. My only regret recently is letting a bitch weird hairdresser hack all my hair off, I just sat there and watched her do it 🙁

HearTheThunderRoar · 30/10/2016 03:25

Not spending more time with my DD, I went back to work when she was 3 months old and have worked full time ever since then, she's now 17 and probably going to Uni next year.

I wish I went NC with my arse of a brother and bitch of a SIL many years ago, the heartache they have caused me. Oh well at least we're NC now.

Going down a different career path, I loved it at first but whilst I don't hate what I do now, I'm bored out of my tree after doing the job for about 30 years and my health has suffered as a result.

About 15 years ago I sold a house (after buying it cheapish) in a area that was starting to grow rapidly along with house prices. I wish I never sold it, I could have made a fortune.

sortthetacheoutbernard · 30/10/2016 17:03

Not having more dc

Topseyt · 30/10/2016 17:28

By far my biggest regret is not having made more effort to visit my now elderly parents for years. We did visit at times, but not nearly as often as I should have.

I am now trying hard to fit more weekend visits in every few weeks, while I still can.

In many ways I regret that I live as far away from them as I do and wish I could transplant my life over there.

If I hadn't moved away though I wouldn't have my DH and our three lovely DDs, who are 21, almost 18 and 14.

I wish I hadn't had to be a SAHM for quite so long (15 years), but circumstances forced it anyway.

I wish I hadn't got fat. It was influenced by a serious medical condition, but perhaps a smidgen more self discipline would have helped.

spankhurst · 30/10/2016 17:34

I regret leaving the Reading Festival of 1992 a little early as it had been raining torrentially and the site was basically a huge mud slick. As we trudged towards the exit we could hear Nirvana starting up. I thought, never mind, I can easily see them another time..

I once asked guy for a cigarette at a party. He threw one on the floor and I picked it up instead of kicking him in the nuts as he so richly deserved. Severely regret that.

SpeckledyBanana · 30/10/2016 18:00

I regret giving away some gig tickets in Freshers week, because I'd not heard of them. It was Blur in 1993.

mrstomriddle · 01/11/2016 12:37

Seaswimming I just had to respond. I know what you're going through. Message me anytime if you need to talk. It's a process and one that has many stages. I've been through it and out the other side. Don't struggle alone. I'm here if you need an ear

hungryhippo90 · 01/11/2016 14:55

I regret so much.
I regret giving too many people too many chances, which left my self esteem in tatters.
I was in an abusive relationship when I was 18, most of it was emotional, except for the fact he would cover me in lovebites "so people knew I was owned" and one time when he took a pair of scissors to my hair. I spent five years believing that he was the only person who ever had, and ever would truly love me.

I regret allowing people to take advantage of me. I try to be nice, but I just end up everbodies push over..

I regret not giving up on my husband 5 years ago. He's lovely, but I can't make him be a responsible man, and I'm worn out trying to make him be a grown up.

OhBollocksFuck · 01/11/2016 15:01

I regret not calling my mum more when I first moved away from home. I'd moved on to a new and exciting life but she was still at home and lonely without me. I should have called much more.

I regret spending the years between 16 and 19 in a relationship with one guy. We were both too immature and we stopped each other living. I cheated on him almost constantly. I have no doubt he did the same to me. I wish I'd had the guts to just end it and go and live my life.

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