ExH's circus of child arrangement proceedings came to town again today... He filed papers for domestic abuse. (So did I by the way)
AIBU in thinking these are stupid reasons for not allowing proper contact with my DS?
*A few times over the years I put DS to bed in daytime clothes
*A few times 2 years ago I gave 'inappropriate school lunch' for DS (porridge with grated apple)
*my sanitary bin sometimes 'overflows' with sanitary towels because it doesn't have a lid (yes, XH took pictures of this for the social services and court)
*once I left broken glass in the bath for 2 weeks because the bathroom light broke - NB at this point XH was not allowing me proper contact with DS anyway and I personally don't take baths, only showers
*apparently I told DS that if I don't see him anymore I'll move to France (a flippant comment made re English weather)
*&oh and apparently I used to 'pull funny faces at XH and say things in a childlike manner like having a tantrum and point my finger in his face as if trying to antagonise a reaction'
anyway, I'm the worst mum in the world in the eyes of XH and deserve no more than minimal contact with DS according to XH's statements to court...
AIBU in thinking he's the one being unreasonable here? (There are some slightly more severe allegations too but they're IMO so clearly manipulated / outright lies that I'm not mentioning them here, it's more this kind of petty stuff that is sort-of-true that XH feels is crucial for the Judge to hear and that he keeps listing ad infinitum whenever he gets the opportunity)
AIBU?
AIBU to think ExH is BU?
user1475501383 · 27/10/2016 00:39
You sound very like my ex who just took me to court to try and impose a custody situation on me and the kids that was just ridiculous.
My solicitor has wondered whether he might be mildly autistic and he behaved very much like you are behaving on this thread throughout court proceedings. It really went badly for him.
You need a good solicitor, someone who understands asd and who you trust. You need some coaching on how to present yourself and you need to let their judgement override yours when dealing with court proceedings. It's a process where you are being judged as a human being and if you find reading people hard, you are quite disadvantaged.
On this thread you come across as arrogant and lacking in judgement. This is not a good look in court. If you want a decent contact arrangement with your son, stop defending leaving glass in the bathtub or giving him porridge for lunch and start saying what the court wants to hear.
I want my son to be happy.
I want my son to be able to have meaningful and close relationships with both of us.
I want an opportunity to build a close relationship with my son.
Don't deviate from this and acknowledge the mistakes you have made. Unless it's a lie, just say- "Yes, with hindsight that was a poor judgement. It won't happen again."
My ex made a series of incredibly poor judgements and it was his inability to recognise these that was the problem more than the actions themselves.
He was impossible to deal with and has destroyed his relationship with 2 of his kids. The court was very supportive of my position and he was poorly advised in the decision to take me to court.
It was not a pleasant process - he had an affair and then put me through a hellish divorce but I feel very sad for him and for how fragmented our family now is. It really didn't need to be so acrimonious.
He blames me for everything and feels that the outcome was very unjust but also fails to understand that he created the situation he is in by behaving so unreasonably.
For your own sake, please get some decent representation and listen to what they tell you 
Sounds like you are getting a hard time here User.
FWIW I don't think YABU - my bathroom light fell down and smashed all over the bathroom floor the other week. I heard it fall (luckily in the daytime or it would have completely freaked me out!!) and when I popped up to see what had happened the phone rang, so I ran back downstairs and left it. DCs were at their dad's for a couple of days, so no urgency to clear it up. That night I went up to bed and remembered it was there, but as it was dark I knew I'd do a terrible job and probably be more dangerous with little tiny shards left around rather than noticeable chunks of glass so I left it until the next day. I can completely understand why you left it there until convenient to clear away if the bath is generally unused.
As for the bins, mine are emptied every 2 weeks when the cleaner comes. I do wrap sanitary products up in some tissue and the bin has never smelled bad, although it does have a lid. All these people who would put it outside straight away 
wtf?! It's not toxic waste!! It's a bit of blood from a family member, not some potentially disease riddled stranger - it's no worse than putting the packaging from your meat in the kitchen bin. Or do you take that out every day too?
I don't get the wrath on here for anyone who doesn't do things the same way. OP, your DS is not at risk from a full (was it actually overflowing?) bin or some glass in a place that he had no reason to use.
It sounds like your X is still trying to control you, making you feel terrible. Some of the posters on here are doing the same. The things you mention are a long way from making you an unfit mother. Putting your child to bed in day time clothes - seriously!? I'd worry more about the bigger things he has stated.
I don't know if you are still reading OP, but if you are please don't feel that people are bullying you. Nobody is saying you are the worst parent in the world, none of us are perfect. I'm sure we've all let things slip in times of stress ( I know I have).
You need to take from this thread that the things you describe are not normal or acceptable in the eyes of most people, the courts and social services included. Rather than self flagellation, can you look at practical ways to address the points raised?
For example could you afford to hire a cleaner? If you could keep your flat safe,tidy and clean, a statement from your cleaner confirming this might help your case.
If there are questions about your ability to provide suitable packed lunches, you could offer to pay for hot dinners if it would reassure your ex.
If you could look at practical ways to address your Exs claims rather than being defensive I'm sure the courts will look favourably on you. Good luck
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