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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to start charging my sister rent?

380 replies

cerealnamechangers · 25/10/2016 10:41

My dsis has lived in my mortgage free house for seven years with her adult daughter since we moved to a bigger property, in that time i have never asked for a penny in rent as we were pretty comfortable but she has paid all the bills for the house e.g. council tax. I was intending to keep the house incase any of my dc ever wanted to move in. The market rate for rent would be about 650-700 pounds per calendar month.
However we now have 2 dc at university and money is tight so we could really do with the extra cash to help them out. Dsis is not short of money and her and her daughter drive nice cars and go on multiple long haul foreign holidays, so aibu to ask her for a contribution for living there? I feel awkward asking her as she has never offered.

OP posts:
northernmonkey1010 · 25/10/2016 19:26

Oh my days some people on here are clueless you pay rent then you pay bills like electric, gas, sky bill, council tax. The council don't pay my bills because I pay the rent it would be nice but doesn't happen. Idiots!!!

Highlandfling80 · 25/10/2016 19:35

I would charge market rate less £100. You have a lucky sister.

Mummyoflittledragon · 25/10/2016 19:36

Are you thinking that by offering half market rent you will be avoiding an argument? Is this in the same way that you avoided and argument by not insisting on getting the agreed £100?

She's getting something for nothing. Any suggestion of getting paid will create an argument. It is better to get what you actually want and are owed rather than a nominal figure. Otherwise you are still getting manipulated by her. Market rent minus £50.

I think you are afraid of your sister tbh. And she's taking full advantage of you.

And be aware that at some stage there may be a cap on rent rises. So you may be stuck forever only able to increase the rent an index linked amount even if your sister leaves. Labour would have put this policy in place had they got in.

AhNowTed · 25/10/2016 19:45

Hi OP
Bear in mind you will get the same games from her whether it's £100 or £600... i.e.

You'll have to chase her for it
She'll have every excuse
She'll act like SHES doing YOU a favour
She'll treat the money like she's giving you a present

So you may as well go through that nonsense for an amount worth having

mum2Bomg · 25/10/2016 19:50

You need to charge her and get a contract sorted. I rent from my BIL and pay market rate for the house as well as all of the bills. I wouldn't expect a free home!

PersianCatLady · 25/10/2016 19:52

I don't think people should be berating the OP for 'giving away her kids' money'
The OP came to AIBU for people's opinions and therefore I think that we are allowed to give them.

butterfliesandzebras · 25/10/2016 19:59

Oh my days some people on here are clueless

Please tell me I'm not the only one getting increasingly amused out of seeing all the twisted-knicker mouth frothing OTT responses of people who haven't bothered to rtft to see there was a misunderstanding?

QueenLizIII · 25/10/2016 20:00

Please tell me I'm not the only one getting increasingly amused out of seeing all the twisted-knicker mouth frothing OTT responses of people who haven't bothered to rtft to see there was a misunderstanding?

it is pretty funny. Grin

MrsHiddleston · 25/10/2016 20:00

Gosh OP your sister and her daughter are massively taking advantage of you, but probably because you have been such a pushover. Tell her you are selling the house and 'give her notice' and then either sell the house and if you can't sell, rent out to someone who will actually pay you rent. You have gfired your sister tens of thousands of pounds at worse, £8400 at best. Stop being a fool, stop letting people (sister or not) take advantage of you!

RentANDBills · 25/10/2016 20:10

Cancel the cheque, OP

Hope you're sorting it, OP and its going okay

Ilikegin · 25/10/2016 20:11

I wouldn't let her rent from you now for less than the market value, she's saved thousands over the years

I think you would be best to send AnaAmoraks suggestion though.

HerRoyalNotness · 25/10/2016 20:15

I think nap queen has it with this

"Well I would just say to her "with the kids at uni things are getting tight. I'm going to have to think about renting the house. Of course you can have first refusal and at a reduced rate, but I'm left with no choice now"

I'd be asking for 400 a month tbh. Still well below market and if 2 adults can't front up 50quid a week each for rent there is something wrong

MargoChanning · 25/10/2016 20:15

Well of course she has nice cars and holidays. She is living rent free. Most people pay rent, or a mortgage, plus bills - unless they own their own home outright and then they just pay bills.

Where do you think that money for car and holidays comes from? It comes from the thousands of pounds you would have earned if you'd rented it to someone else. That's thousands you could have saved for yourself and your own children. Money you could have put towards your retirement.

But if you were happy with that, then that's fine. Nobody else's business.

But if your situation has changed and you're now short of money, then of course you are well within your rights to ask her for rent. Give her some notice (maybe three months) and then say that due to the change in your financial circumstances, you'll either rent it to her for a certain amount, or rent it privately, or you'll have to sell the house. It would be morally wrong, in my opinion, for you to suffer financially while your sister benefits from your generosity and good nature.

Iflyaway · 25/10/2016 20:20

She's paying ALL the bills for the house? So surely that is her "rent". She certainly doesn't live there rent free.

See, I don't get this. I pay rent AND ALL the bills for my house, and so does everyone I know. Electrics, water, council tax, you know, the usual.

The landlord only pays the major renovations.

God knows why you have given your sister a free ride all these years. I never heard of anyone doing this for their siblings. You sound more than generous and you shouldn't feel guilty for not wanting to subsidise her lifestyle any more. Life changes anyway and what was normal yesterday may not be today.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 25/10/2016 20:33

Just a thought, but while it's all very well telling Dsis that the place may have to be rented out elsewhere or sold, I very much doubt either would be possible while she's actually still in it. All she's got to do is mention the "terrible problems with damp", the "suspected subsidence" or the "awful neighbours" to anyone who views and that's it - interest gone

If she won't cough up any rent, it seems to me the only possible option is to get her out of there and then reconsider what to do with the place - and as others have said, get some proper legal advice pretty darned soon

TaterTots · 25/10/2016 20:35

Please tell me I'm not the only one getting increasingly amused out of seeing all the twisted-knicker mouth frothing OTT responses of people who haven't bothered to rtft to see there was a misunderstanding?

If people had read the first post, never mind the whole thread, they wouldn't have made such a stupid mistake in the first place.

ImperialBlether · 25/10/2016 20:36

Why are people suggesting that she gives her sister a reduced rent? She's had it for seven years for nothing - why keep that gravy train going?

I have to say I find it really hard to believe, OP, that you are paying a mortgage while she's living there free.

Justaboy · 25/10/2016 20:39

I'd be ashamed to live somewhere like that without paying my way and so shoudl she be ashamed that shes living there scot free!.

No offence to the Scots by that remark BTW.

PersianCatLady · 25/10/2016 21:08

See, I don't get this. I pay rent AND ALL the bills for my house, and so does everyone I know. Electrics, water, council tax, you know, the usual
OK one more time, some people at the start of this thread thought that the OP and her sister lived in the same house and therefore paying the bills was sort of rent money.

The OP lives in one house and her sister lives in another house that the OP also owns.

This is what caused the confusion.

ImperialBlether · 25/10/2016 21:28

Fucking hell, I am really fed up of people who don't read the fucking thread!!!

butterfliesandzebras · 25/10/2016 21:36

If people had read the first post, never mind the whole thread, they wouldn't have made such a stupid mistake in the first place.

The OP was ambiguously written, there was a second way of reading it not intended by the OP. That hardly makes people who read it differently 'stupid', or implies they didn't read the OP.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 25/10/2016 21:38

My dsis has lived in my mortgage free house for seven years with her adult daughter since we moved to a bigger property

^^ First sentence. Pretty unambiguous IMO!

Original poster
cerealnamechangers · 25/10/2016 21:53

Will talk to her at the weekend when I'm seeing her.

OP posts:
BarbaraofSeville · 25/10/2016 21:59

I read it as the sister had started living with the OP when they had moved to a bigger house.

As others had also already made the same mistake, posts referring to the sister paying all the bills in lieu of rent served to reinforce this impression of ghe the situation.

Grumpyoldblonde · 25/10/2016 22:00

Hope it goes well cereal, good luck. How I would love to live rent free for 7 years!

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