AIBU to think that a cashier shouldn't comment on personal items you're buying?

[catlover1987]

Just home from the weekly shop at Asda. The cashier gave a running commentary on all of my shopping. Oh that looks nice, oh aren't those ready meals handy, oh what is that, I'll need to try that. Mildly annoying but I'm sure she was just trying to be friendly. However, where I think she really crossed the line was when she seen my pregnancy test and said, oh I hope it's a yes! I didn't know what to say!

No Blu, I was buying cava :o I obviously have one of those faces...

Whilst I'm normally a happy, chatty person, I do live in fear of the "check out inquisition".

Several years ago now, I bought a few pregnancy tests in Superdrug. Person on the check out commented on how I only needed one to get the answer, and why was I buying so many? I actually explained to her that I was newly pregnant, following IVF, and due to my history, wanted the reassurance of positive pregnancy tests. She didn't knw what to say after that...

In Tesco some time ago, DS (approx 3 or 4 at the time) was sat in the trolley. Cashier says "is he half and half?" I didn't realise at first what she was on about, and looked confused. "Him" (pointing at my son). "Is he half and half, he looks chinese". I was so shocked I just said no and got out as quickly as I could. I didn't want to explain that actually he has a very rare genetic syndrome and therefore his eyes are diffrently shaped to mine.

The other week (different shop) - "is his Dad chinese"? You've guessed it, I was with DS again.

There's making conversation, and there's making very inappropriate comments to people.

Just found an apt little dialogue on notalwaysright.com. It's clearly not just customers who suffer...

Cashier dealing with personal questions from customers

whattheseithakasmean

It's small talk. If you can't handle idle chit chat use the self service counter.

I don't mind the, 'that's a pretty top" / "that cake looks tasty" type comments. But personal items should never be mentioned (including booze!). Also the chat should seem natural so not commenting on every item.

Felicia commenting on their assumptions about what they perceive my son's ethnic background to be is small talk? How should I respond?

Perfectly okay mundane chit-chat at checkout: "It's nice when this season's strawberries come in, isn't it?", "oh, that colour is lovely", "so nice to make soup in cold weather isn't it."

Totally not okay - any comments on personal items - pregnancy tests, packs of condoms, any sort of drugs (beyond the safety-oriented "have you taken these before"/"don't mix with asprin" comments you get for purchases like ibuprofen).

Probably wisest not to comment on: diet meals in trolley, deoderants, etc (anything where it's hard to make a comment without the possibility of it being misconstrued as a negative comment about the person's lifestyle).

I sometimes think some people just don't apply the necessary filter between brain and mouth.

AH, I just got back from a supermarket - I deliberately chose the automatic checkout even though I had quite a bit of trolly shopping because I wanted to avoid speaking to a human being. Mind you ours can be quite fun - one is a conspiracy theorist man and he comes out with all sorts and I am happy to play along and that goes for his comments on particular foods too. I am laughing as I type. Another one likes to chat.

I think personal comment on the shopping though for most people is going a bit far. Eg I often buy products I would never dream of eating (but are for the teenagers) and I don't think people should assume they are for me not that I am really bothered at my age.

I use self check outs (yeah i'm antisocial lol). I bought a Clearblue pregnancy test which was in a locked plastic case a member of staff had to open. The staff member (a young man) said "do you want to be or not?" I was so shocked my mouth fell open and I was unable to reply. I'm usually rather sarcastic but it was so rude and invasive it rendered me speechless. I complained about him via email later when I'd got home & processed it in my mind. You would think cashiers would be more considerate towards customers. You could be worried about being pregnant and not want to be. But the bottom line is- it's none of their business. They may as well ask if you have a yeast infection if youre buying Canesten lol. Inappropriate. YANBU!!

Cashiers are allowed to chat they are people! I much prefer a friendly cashier than a silent one.

uk.video.search.yahoo.com/video/play;_ylt=A2KLqIhpBQ5YI1cATTz03olQ;_ylu=X3oDMTByYXI3cnIwBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDdmlkBHZ0aWQDBGdwb3MDNA--?p=Chewin+the+Fat+Buying+Tissues&vid=76071495ae9272f7acb2198064574dec&turl=https%3A%2F%2Ftse4.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOVP.Vdf67e6724f879d1874ac46f5a99157af%26pid%3D15.1%26h%3D173%26w%3D300%26c%3D7%26rs%3D1&rurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DXTNusRuX5-w&tit=Karen+Dunbar+Checkout&c=3&h=173&w=300&l=55&sigr=11bd1vuq8&sigt=10lsbtvsu&sigi=132nq7mal&age=1170091383&fr2=p%3As%2Cv%3Av&&tt=b

Not the one I was looking for but funny all the same

Here we go

uk.video.search.yahoo.com/video/play;_ylt=A2KLqIhpBQ5YI1cAUDz03olQ;_ylu=X3oDMTByZjF2ZHFmBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDdmlkBHZ0aWQDBGdwb3MDNw--?p=Chewin+the+Fat+Buying+Tissues&vid=3f31d09c0807f38b02c86e2d588f8f77&turl=https%3A%2F%2Ftse2.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOVP.Vb2d04a47f3abe8bf0d17cfb83ca900b1%26pid%3D15.1%26h%3D174%26w%3D300%26c%3D7%26rs%3D1&rurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D-O4XqvO0Eec&tit=He+Just+Started+Masturbating&c=6&h=174&w=300&l=142&sigr=11beddc9m&sigt=10s5rtuu9&sigi=1328ni08j&age=1239213515&fr2=p%3As%2Cv%3Av&&tt=b

truly I was responding to the OP. Not your post which is not small talk at all.

I've had this in Sainsbury's as well when TTC DS. It was about 9 years ago so no option to use self service till. Cashier generally chatty then she scanned the pregnancy test and started saying "Ooh what do you think? Are you? Aren't you?" I just did this back until she started muttering about how much cheaper they'd got recently compared to a while back.

Also hate it when cashiers start reading the front of your newspaper and start commenting on the articles.

OMG imagine if they started commenting on which "flow" of tampons you were buying, or the strawberry lube? Thank goodness I have all my groceries delivered.

Commenting on a pregnancy test is too far!
Chit chat I can handle.
I had cause to complain to tesco manager last week as the man on the checkout (who I normally avoid as he's exceptionally slow) was clipping & cleaning his nails while I loaded my shopping on the belt! YUCK 😝

I had a similar comment in Tesco with a check out assistant. It was when I was on pop contraceptive pill which stop periods and I was constantly worried I would become pg despite taking the pill and not know as I didn't have periods. I'd do a pg test every month to appease my anxiety that I could be pg. I think I did a face when she said 'how exciting, good luck' as she scanned it through but mainly as I didn't want a positive and it hasn't occurred to me at that point that I would be taking it looking for something to happen. She was well intentioned but it did feel a bit over the mark.

I am so glad this "chat with the customer" thing does not seem to be policy here.
Cashiers only chat with friendly people who want to chat. (I am not one of those)

Though one would think that it is obvious that pregnancy tests are not a good conversation topic if you're trying to be nice and make the customer feel welcome.

I would feel tempted to reply something along the lines of "My family will disown me if it is positive!" just to get across the point that it is not appropriate.

(There's this joke where a woman goes to the gynecologist, and after the examination the doctor says "I have good news for you, Mrs. Miller!" She says "Oh, it is Miss Miller" "... then I have bad news ...")

I suppose it is nice that most people nowadays feel it is nothing to be ashamed of, but it still can be a sensitive topic, even without all the misogyny and hate against unmarried mothers - if you have had miscarriages, you don't want to chat about that.

OP Same thing happened to me (except that was all I was buying). Even now, a few years later, I feel a bit when I see her in the same assistant in the store. I never said anything at the time, but was surprised she thought it acceptable to say what she did.

YANBU I had the exact same thing happen to me in superdrug buying a pregnancy test, the cashier said "I'm trying too, I hope we both get a positive" - I didn't know what to say so I smiled and left.. I was hoping for a positive but she didn't know that! I coulda been hoping for a negative and facing a termination for all she knew!

Blame asda not the cashier, at Asda by us they are always too chatty and I find it a pain, however they are encouraged to chat drivel by management.

If the cashier had chatted about all my purchases though I would have been tempted to say "ooo yes knicker stickers, like a crimson river it is this month"

Knicker stickers being pinched from a thread yesterday

Can you imagine doing that job? I bet it's quite boring sometimes. And cold. I don't mind them commenting on anything if it gets them through the day.

I had the opposite where a cashier kept discussing her menopause symptoms/time of life/hot flushes in front of my teenage son. He found it hilarious, I don't mind being open amongst mates, but I don't really need to know personal stuff from strangers tbh....

I once bought THIRTY pregnancy tests at the same time (I work in a GP surgery and was buying them for work).

Worse still, I had a horrendous black eye after falling off my bike and looked like a total idiot.

Luckily the teenage boy that served me didn't pass comment (he probably thought I would smack him) but he did go a little bit red :)