To ask what constitutes a 'bad mum/parent' in your opinion?

[fruitysmoothie]

Just curious.....

You go first OP

Not putting your kids needs first.

Somebody who doesn't consider their children before themselves. Not in a martyrish way but day to day

Giving them crack. That would get you on the bad mum list I think.

Keeping your 'new kids' with you and letting your 6 year old dd from your previous relationship go and stay with gran (ex dh's mum) for 4 or 5 nights a week.

Having a wardrobe full of new clothes and clearly spending a lot on your hair extensions/fake tans/nails when your two kids look like urchins and go all winter without a warm enough coat each.

Going on 4 or 5 holidays a year with your oh whilst the kids have no holiday at all.

All real examples of people I know, all shit parents IMO.

Somebody neglectful or abusive obviously, but my mother was a 'bad mother' and was not really either of those things. She just didn't love me. That probably counts as neglect in a way though...

Some who takes out their negative emotions on their children. Or hits their children. Or tell their children that they are usless and should never have been born.

Writing an article, op? Or just general research? I think it's pretty obvious what constitutes a 'bad parent'...

Not prioritising your children's needs. What do you think, OP?

Someone who puts a man (not their child' father) before their children and lets that bloke treat her kids like shit...

Someone who abuses their child be it physically emotionally or sexually. Putting others before them, especially adults. I personally don't consider sending kids off to gran regularly etc as bad parenting

Just generally curious as i had a blazing row with MIL recently and because I discipline my DD and use time out apparently I'm a 'bad mum' I'm so so upset by this remark and can't help but start doubting myself....

I know a mum who openly favours her eldest. None of the children are neglected, but I consider her a bad mum.

If you're researching a crap magazine article, you'll have to try a bit harder than that. At least put up some unconvincing dozy anecdote about forgetting to pick your offspring up from nursery until midnight because you'd gone on the tear (with all your emergency contacts). Then you say 'I'm soooo embarrassed! Anyone else//?'

And everyone is possibly charmed by your artless self-deprecation and joins in. Or not, obviously.

Oh dear, OP. Try to ignore things that spiteful idiots say in the heat of the moment. Do YOU think using time-out or other strategies to discipline your DD makes you a bad mum? Would you think it if it you saw someone else doing it?

I also apparently am 'more bothered about myself'.... I think this remark was due to me having not let myself go IYKWIM but just because I take care of my appearance doesn't mean I don't take care of DD... she has a bedroom full of toys and it's beautifully decorated, she has a cupboard full to the brim with clothes, she has three winter coats, a few pairs of shoes and is generally a happy little girl

Neglect
Abuse
Prioritising drugs over the children

Wilddigestive - you have completely lost me sorry?!

I think someone who never interacts with their children/doesn't play with them. Also someone who deliberately harms them.

Well according to my mil I'm a bad mum because I do not discipline the dc enough!

Trifle - that's a good way of looking at it and no, I wouldn't think that if it was someone else... I really hope it was just in the heat of the moment

Neglect or abuse (emotional or physical) make you a bad parent, everyone else is muddling along doing their best

It really is none of her business whether you're more bothered about yourself or whether you use time out. Your daughter is clothed, fed, educated, loved, played with? You can't be doing such a bad job. Don't let her come round anymore if she won't keep her opinions on your parenting to herself in the future.

• Someone who hurts their children, physically or emotionally
• Not prioritising their children, putting their needs before their kids'
• Not supporting their child

Obviously aside from abject neglect or abuse, other people's parenting is not something I consider or try to assess. I don't for one minute think I'm perfect I feel like we're all muddling through trying not fuck up our children's lives while still looking around wondering wtf has actually just happened here!?