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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How long do you let your pre-teen sleep?

25 replies

Blondieblondie · 22/10/2016 13:12

DS is 11 and still sleeping. Normally on Saturday we are up and out for a sports activity by 8.30/9.00, and he's had a bit of a cold recently so didn't get to sleep until about 1.00 this morning. But he's always been a big sleeper anyway. Do you let your kids sleep as long as they want on weekends if you have no plans, or do you wake them? During the week he goes to bed at 9.15 and gets up about 7.30.

OP posts:

Davros · 22/10/2016 13:15

I let DD sleep late at weekends and holidays and it used to sometimes annoy or worry me. She doesn't do it any more (now13), maybe it's a developmental thing?

Original poster

Blondieblondie · 22/10/2016 13:27

He's just got up. His ears must have been burning

That's tood to know about your DS. I actually imagined he'd be in bed longer by the time he was 13. He's always had a good 11/12 hours sleep whenever possible, but I suppose other days he's only getting 8/9.

OP posts:

QueenLizIII · 22/10/2016 13:38

Leave him be. Especially as he hasnt been well.

I have always been a huge sleeper. Never an early riser but of course I had to be up early and out for school and then work.

If left alone I would have slept in until 10am I think. My family had other ideas. My paretns and siblings were all early risers and decided me sleeping in was unacceptable. They all took turns to drag me out of bed even at 13-14-15 and on weekends when we were not going anywhere or doing anything in the morning.

They did it just because.

I still resent them for it.

FlabulousChic · 22/10/2016 13:54

I let my kids sleep as long as they wanted at the weekends and on holidays. I'm not sure why you would consider it okay to wake a child you don't wake sleeping babies

Oysterbabe · 22/10/2016 13:56

I'd let him sleep as long as he wanted to, especially after such a late night.

Original poster

Blondieblondie · 22/10/2016 14:21

I did let him sleep. I was just wondering whether it's generally considered a bad thing to encourage him sleeping in until afternoon as he gets older, or whether it's accepted that just teenagers and what they need.

OP posts:

Grumpyoldblonde · 22/10/2016 14:24

I think they do need it at this age, lots going on in those growing minds and bodies, I used to sleep until lunchtime as a teen.
I let mine sleep as long as I don't need to go out anywhere earlier. I relish the peace tbh after the early starts as a baby/toddler

RedElephants · 22/10/2016 15:54

My boys are 15 & 18, Ive always let them sleep, until that is morning of DS1s 18th birthday, I woke him up at 9, i needed him to open his presents..lol

Ginmakesitallok · 22/10/2016 15:56

Mine is allowed to sleep as long as she wants - she's generally up before me. Never slept past 8 in her life.

Davros · 22/10/2016 17:45

The other thing is that they are now an age when you can leave them at home if you want or need to go out, as long as they know you won't be there. When DD was too young to stay at home it used to drive me mad. I wasn't happy when it interfered with family activities, although I've never over booked at weekends. I think she's got a bit more responsible and will get up if she knows we're doing something together rather than agreeing and then being grumpy and difficult. They need rest, sleep and to be able to occupy themselves at home without being booked up by us

redsky21 · 22/10/2016 17:51

See I always struggle with this as I always worry that letting my ds sleep as long as he likes will result in him being awake until even later the next evening. He's always been a night owl as it is and hasn't been asleep before 10pm since he was about 3! Currently falls asleep around half 10 or 11.

WhooooAmI24601 · 22/10/2016 18:02

I wish I could convince the children in this house to sleep in. DS1 is 11 and struggles sometimes to switch off at bedtime, so is usually up til about 10/11pm most nights. School mornings he has to be up by 7am and it's like wrestling a drunk, irate octopus from it's bed. Weekends he still only sleeps til about 8am. I can't wait to reach the point where he sleeps like a proper teen.

maddiemookins16mum · 22/10/2016 18:08

DD (12) will sleep until gone 9am if left (at the weekend etc). I left her once (after one of those awful middle of the night arrivals back into Gatwick after a delay and we got in the house at 4am) until noon (she was 10).
My DM used to let my teen brother sleep until early afternoon but me and DS were nagged to be up by 10am to help around the house (funny the things you recall from your teens that still bug you).

ClaudiaJean2016 · 22/10/2016 18:30

It's best not to disturb the circadian rhythm too much. It's nice to sleep late, but I find when I sleep in on the weekend it makes me tired and finding it hard to get up for the rest of the week. Consistency in bedtime and wake time doesn't make me tired.

normage · 22/10/2016 18:40

I think you're doing the right thing letting him sleep in. Teens are growing rapidly and under huge pressure in school. Weekends and holidays are definitely for catching up on sleep. My 14 year old dd surfaced at 12pm today, feeling really rested after a tough week in school. I do however insist she is in bed by 11pm during the holidays, so she doesn't get too out of sync.

DeleteOrDecay · 22/10/2016 18:49

I can't wait until my dd's start having lie ins, unfortunately I've got a while to wait as they are still toddlers and getting up at the crack of dawn

I agree that you should leave him unless there are activities planned. As a teen I used to relish the freedom of being able to sleep in at the weekends, and I still do now on the rare occasion I get a chance too. No sense in waking someone up for the sake of it.

iMatter · 22/10/2016 18:57

It's not really a long lie in if he didn't get to sleep until 1am. Hope his cold's better.

My dcs are similar age and DC1 might sleep until 8.30 at the weekend but dc2 never sleeps past 6.30

ICancelledTheCheque · 22/10/2016 19:12

My DD11 is usually up by 9 on weekends but will sleep until 11 if she's particularly tired. After her residential trip with school she slept until 12:30

I'd let my DCs sleep until lunchtime unless we had anything planned. But they'd be going to bed at a normal time the next day so they didn't get too out of rhythm.

Notso · 22/10/2016 19:33

Let him sleep. I can never understand why some people think it is so terrible to lie in. PIL are always making snarky comments to my older DC for being in bed past 9am. They might get up early but then they are snoring on the sofa by eight thirty at night.

tinyterrors · 22/10/2016 19:38

Weekends and short holidays I let my dcs sleep until 10am latest if we're not going anywhere because I don't want to change their normal sleep routine too much.

I don't see the point in making my dcs get up 'just because' over the weekend / holidays when they'd rather have a long lie in.

Meadows76 · 22/10/2016 19:49

I only wake the one who has sleep problems. But even then not till around 11.

minionsrule · 22/10/2016 19:58

- what time you say? Mine rarely gets up after 7am, he is 11, at weekends he is up usually before 6.30 - weekdays more like 7....... I have done something wrong .
To be fair, he has never slept in, no matter what time he goes to bed, he always wakes up early, he is just grumpier if he has gone to bed late

Davros · 22/10/2016 20:54

There is the fear of breeding a layabout but maybe because we fear it, we won't (I hope!)

Grumpyoldblonde · 22/10/2016 21:26

Davros I used to sleep all weekend as a teenager, aso an adult I'm up at 5.30 without fail! 7 days a week. Teens need their rest I reckon.

junebirthdaygirl · 22/10/2016 21:46

Have had 3 teens and my limit was 1 in the afternoon. So would usually call them just before that saying would you like some lunch. The thought of food always got them up as one thing they preferred more than sleeping was eating. Couldn't handle them staying much after 1.

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