If a man calls you 'love'...

[sisterignatius]

.. in the post office depot, when he's asking you to sign for a parcel - is that just the equivalent of him addressing you as 'mate' if you're a man? Or is being called 'love' when you're a woman somehow different from being called 'mate'?

What, if he's fleetingly - and possibly unconsciously - checked you out before fetching your parcel? Does that make any difference to the use of the word 'love'?

[MumOfTwoMasterOfNone]

Regional, although in certain circumstances it can be a bit condescending in a work environment. I told my Dad this and he said 'I call all women love' and he was mortified that someone would take it as anything other than a friendly greeting.

[MooseAndSquirrel]

Hmm low level sexism ?!
well im female (and welsh) and use the term "lovely" for either sex im clearing oppressing both genders with terms of endearment

[TheCakes]

Love/lovey, perfectly acceptable forms of address.

Being checked out by the postal worker when picking up a parcel, a bit cringey and unprofessional.

[user1476656305]

well sorry Navy but it only seems to be northerners who feel obliged to start every statement with eg, 'well I'm from Yorkshire and....'

[EstrellaCircusGirl]

A bit of generalising here, but I wonder how much this is tied into northerners' ability to acknowledge each and have conversations with strangers. I'll happily chat with the person at the checkout, or someone on a bus, or just acknowledge someone I pass on a morning walk.

[glamourousgranny42]

I'm from Yorkshire and now live in North East. I call people Love and 'me love'. That's children men and women. It's just a friendly term . Up here it's ' pet '. Nothing wrong with it all. However if somebody was trying to impress a point on me and said 'look love ....' I would find that patronising.

You need to look at culture and context. We have a fantastically varied and vibrant language which is in danger of becoming homogenised in accordance with a narrow and exclusive norm.

And I AM a feminist who has read a loved Spenders 'man made language' . Before people tell me I am buying into the patriarchy of language.

[HyacinthFuckit]

Depends where you live.

But cue a load of fuckwit comments from people who aren't northern yet still feel the need to share their incredibly significant opinions on the use of language in the region. Its very important OP that you pay them loads of attention, because their opinions is so importants.

[movpov]

Total over reaction. It's just a friendly term and nothing meant by it. It generally comes from the older generation but here it's 'hen' for women and 'son' for men, eg when I leave work on a Friday the security guard says 'night hen, have a good weekend' or if my son holds a door open for someone they'll say 'thanks son' . All this stuff about diminishing you as a person, patronising etc is total claptrap. They could be calling you much worse and in my opinion there are much more serious things in the world to get worked up about.

[EleanorRigby123]

Everyone in Yorkshire calls everyone else love, love. Don't let it bother you, love. There are other things to worry about, love.

[HyacinthFuckit]

Which area of the country did this occur OP? It would obviously be a different context if you were in the south east than Yorkshire.

[derxa]

My hairdresser calls me 'sweetie'. Burn him!!!!!

[MrsJayy]

Actually Lold at Gritty Northeners

My friend from yorkshire says love or lovey to everybody I think it is lovely

[sisterignatius]

Two things. Just because it's normal/colloquial/customary to call women love, does that means it's okay and we should never change or evolve -- ever?

And secondly - if he had called me 'ma'am' as they do in the US - when he asked me to sign, I can't help feeling that it would have re-established a boundary that his fleeting appraisal of me had crossed. Whereas 'love' just underlined the feeling of slight discomfort.

I am no spring chicken and is absolutely nothing compared to things I've experienced, particularly in my working life. Of course it's not important in a global sense. But as you get older you start to question things - and that's why I put the question to you.

[YorkieDorkie]

user please don't begin your "discussions" until you've bothered to pick a proper username.

It's not fair that others react to your goady posts, pinning their identity on them while you're essentially incognito.

[travellinglighter]

I live in Wales, In south wales it’s “alright butt” or “How’s it going Butty” to males and love, lovely, my lovely or cariad to members of the opposite sex in both directions. Used to have a senior engineer when I was apprentice who used to call me son, given that I never knew my dad, it irritated me but not enough for me to challenge him on it. Wouldn’t care these days.

I often say something like “Let the lady go first” to the kids and I have been informed that this isn’t correct. I would say let the gentleman go first as well. Woman seems like a technical description as in “let this human go first.” Maybe it’s my age and I’m out of touch.

[HyacinthFuckit]

I think the point that's being made OP and that you seem to have missed, though not as hard as some other posters admittedly, is that there are some areas where its customary to call everybody love or similar. Not just women. And as such, we need to know whether you were in one of those areas when it happened.

[NicknameUsed]

"Just because it's normal/colloquial/customary to call women love, does that means it's okay and we should never change or evolve -- ever?"

Good luck with that then. Seriously, you are massively overthinking this. Round where I live women as well as men say "love" all the time. It's meaningless. Get over yourself.

[DesolateWaist]

I was a properly freaked out kent girl when i was addressed as "my lover" in plymouth in my twenties.

Yes, I have to remind my dad that outside the west county people will look at you funny if you use 'lover'.
I use 'love' all the time.

[CurtainsforRonnie]

I say it, to men & woman. And mate. And darling.

[EarlGreyTeaAndToast]

My DH calls his gruff Yorkshire father "Love". It's just what they do. It's hardly patronising.
In other cultures in the world, it's "dear".