If a man calls you 'love'...

[sisterignatius]

.. in the post office depot, when he's asking you to sign for a parcel - is that just the equivalent of him addressing you as 'mate' if you're a man? Or is being called 'love' when you're a woman somehow different from being called 'mate'?

What, if he's fleetingly - and possibly unconsciously - checked you out before fetching your parcel? Does that make any difference to the use of the word 'love'?

[bertsdinner]

Im a northerner, West Yorkshire, (Wakefield/Pontefract area). Ive heard men call each other love but not very often, last time was on the bus when a guy said to the male driver "thanks love", driver didnt bat an eyelid but I would say that is unusual to hear. Men usually call each other cock/cocker.

Women call everyone love, other women, children and men. Ive heard women use it in a confrontational way, ie. "look, love".
There's a guy at work who calls everyone (women), babe. I was a bit taken aback at first, but apparently this is "a Leeds thing".

[tanfield90]

I'm a northerner (Leeds for context). I call men and women 'love' (as do most folk at my workplace) and I also address women as 'dear'. No malice or patronising intended and no complaints received (yet).

[green18]

I am female and a female friend of mine always calls me love. Its meant affectionately. I never use 'love' not even to my loves but I am partial to a darling

[BaronessEllaSaturday]

I'm another northerner and you will not hear a man call another man love in this area. I object to love because it is always related to women, women can use it to other women, women can use it to men, men can use it to women but the common denominator is women. Men call each other mate, it's a mark of respect, as one equal to another. Women are not granted that status.

[green18]

There really are bigger fish to fry!

[SomethingOnce]

As a child, it registered that the sort of people I heard objecting to being called love were usually middle class women objecting, on feminist grounds, to being called it by working class men.

[frumpet]

The one that makes me shudder is 'dear' and I would never ever use this as a term of endearment , either to my family , friends or patient.

[Paddington68]

Mate, love, duck, darling, sweetheart, madam, sir, my old china- I do them all no offence meant.

[frumpet]

Perhaps my view on this is skewed by my experience as working as a nurse in the NHS , where I have been called along with others ' you fucker' , 'fat cunt' , 'bitch' , 'stupid cow' , so being called 'love' as a nurse working in Yorkshire really doesn't ruffle my feathers in any way . As others have mentioned, there will always be the crucial aspect of context , and as others have said if I feel like the term is being used in a way to lower my position in the hierachy of the conversation , I will 'pumpkin' , 'poppet' , 'sweetpea' back at them to regain equality of position . I will also use these as terms of endearment in other situations , along with love , sweetheart , gorgeous , and Mr grumpy pantaloons

[BertrandRussell]

"That's your opinion though Bertrand I don't think the majority of people give it a second thought."

That's rather my point!

[green18]

Because inequality between men and women is maintained by big things- and by lots and lots and lots of tiny things. Things that don't seem worth commenting on- but which all add up.
That's your opinion though Bertrand I don't think the majority of people give it a second thought.

[EmmaMacGill]

Sister If this happened in London I'm suprised he even looked at you, let alone spoke to you. If you didn't like that then what ever you do don't ever visit the Midlands, you'll be bombarded with 'love' 'duck' darling' and 'kidda' you'd hate it.

[PickledCauliflower]

He isn't..

[PickledCauliflower]

Young - as in under 30s.

I think it does depend on the scenario. I would only accept my male boss saying it, if he was a good friend.
He is isn't, and thankfully never says it!

[PickledCauliflower]

I've heard of men addressing each other as love in some parts of northern England - but it's not common.
My ex was highly amused when he came across it! I think it's said so frequently in some areas, it just comes out without any thought.
The only time I never hear it, is between young people.

[BertrandRussell]

"It may be regional, but it's very common for people to address each other as love where I live. It's not sexual or flirty up here.'

Do men call other men "love"? Routinely?

[PickledCauliflower]

It may be regional, but it's very common for people to address each other as love where I live. It's not sexual or flirty up here..

[NorbertDentressangle]

I think of 'love' in the OP's context as being like 'mate' and wouldn't take offence.

'Ma'am' is too formal and stuffy sounding
'Miss' is what children use at school. I couldn't imagine being called 'Miss' by an adult outside of a school setting.
I thought 'My lover' was an urban myth until hearing it in Cornwall.

The one I really dislike is 'bab'. I wouldn't be offended if someone called me it but something about it just makes me cringe.

[BertrandRussell]

"'Like anything in life, surely it comes down to context and intonation."

Is that really true? Does everything come down to context?

And if it does, surely the context here is that this is a word that men only use towards women?

[derxa]

I absently minded said "thanks toots!" My shepherdess calls our ewes 'Toots' and the tups 'Boys'. I expect the ewes are fuming.

[BertrandRussell]

Because inequality between men and women is maintained by big things- and by lots and lots and lots of tiny things. Things that don't seem worth commenting on- but which all add up.

[green18]

Why does it matter Bertrand if it's not said with any malice?

[BertrandRussell]

Fair enough. I'm surprised that it doesn't seem even a little bit curious that the one word that men frequently use to women they don't use to each other, and the "equal"words like "mate" they don't use to women, but there you go.