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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu that Halloween is begging?

81 replies

TopangaD · 22/10/2016 00:12

Ok do I start this post with a childhood disclaimer, we never went guising as children which is what we call it in Scotland as my mother felt it was begging.. prob cos the old tradition was to do a turn ( I.e. Do a performance in some sort and ask for £).. so I see on a local parenting site a query from an American asking where in the city I'm from there are American style or friendly dot to door things for Halloween for her snowflake's first Halloween Ainu to say if you want you own traditions Cool but don't expect them to exist here ... I think her post and the way she assumed that American cultre would be repropriated annoyed me..

OP posts:
daisiesinherfootsteps · 22/10/2016 06:17

I was never allowed to go guising and also don't really like the idea for my DC. However I don't mind those who do. I think only knocking on houses with obvious decorations at front is the correct unwritten rule now. We keep our pumpkins at the back and the lights off at front as kids are in bed early.

I am glad of the American import that is the pumpkin lantern though after years of nearly losing a finger trying to carve a turnip!

echt · 22/10/2016 07:24

The last time I looked , begging was for money.

Never heard of or encountered, or heard of this vis a vis Hallowe'en in the the UK.

Mindtrope · 22/10/2016 07:37

Old style guising still goes on where I live. All the kids come to the door with a spooky joke or sing a song and given sweets as payment for their performance. I don't live in the city though, so maybe it's more a trick or treat style there.

BlancheBlue · 22/10/2016 07:40

Halloween as done today is a vulgar Americanism and is begging. Would you let your DCs knock on doors for food/money at other times?

witsender · 22/10/2016 07:50

Not my thing. Never remember if happening in the 80ies when I was a nipper, but if others want to then cool. But really it isn't trick or treat any more, it is just turning up asking for sweets.

topcat2014 · 22/10/2016 07:51

If you don't want your DC involved then that's fine, of course.

But no need to judge those that do. I happily let DD and her friends go round our close and visit houses with pumpkins with absolutely no qualms.

Never consider it begging, apart from reading that on MN each year.

HeyRobot · 22/10/2016 07:59

A woman who lives miles from home wants to share her traditions with her dc. Is this unacceptable from every culture, or is it just Americans who aren't allowed?

Mamatallica · 22/10/2016 08:05

It would be OK if the local children went to houses that were decorated but they seem to try their luck everywhere, even if you turn the lights off. We tried to get into the spirit of it a couple of times and bought some sweets to give out but last year in particular we just got endless Polish children who were very rude, I'm sure they know how to say thank you, even if they said it in Polish it'd be something.

Mamatallica · 22/10/2016 08:07

And before you start, it's not racist to expect manners from children wherever they are from. Nor am I saying that all Polish children are rude, just the ones I have experienced lately.

ThePinkOcelot · 22/10/2016 08:21

It's a bit of fun. Get a grip.

zad716 · 22/10/2016 08:35

Would you let your DCs knock on doors for food/money at other times?

No. But at other times of year no-one has bought sweets to specifically giveaway to children in fancy dress who knock at their door.

Ebbenmeowgi · 22/10/2016 08:41

Some of you are so bloody miserable! It's just kids and sweets ffs, don't answer the door or go out for dinner on that ONE night of the year if it bothers you that much.

MuffyTheUmpireSlayer · 22/10/2016 08:41

So why mention that they were Polish Mamatallica? Surely it's the fact that they were rude that's the issue, not the fact that they're Polish? Hmm

MN never fails.

green18 · 22/10/2016 09:15

Oh purlease! Brew

green18 · 22/10/2016 09:16

Daily Fail alert, appearing soon. Topical article, zero effort.

DramaInPyjamas · 22/10/2016 09:31

It's a bit of fun in exchange for a fun size mars bar and a lolly not exactly begging for food/gifts(?)/money!

all the kids here do a joke or poem, I'm not going to begrudge them a wee sweetie one night a year

WaitrosePigeon · 22/10/2016 09:33

Round here if you want kiddies coming round, you put a pumpkin outside your front door. We respect that rule.

Willow2016 · 22/10/2016 12:06

No its not begging its one night of the year when they are allowed to knock doors and people are prepared with bowlfuls of sweets to hand out specificaly to the kids.

Its a mutual arrangement.

I was guising when god was a boy so its nothing new to me. Kids all tell rubbish jokes and I love looking at their costumes, all of them make an effort and look fab even the teens.

We also have an american family here and the kids say "trick or treat" but I dont have a hissy fit, I just ask if they have a joke (which they always do as one parent is Scottish) and give them sweets.

Yes its got 'bigger' with American influence but I love that, I love decorating the outside of the house and making it scary, love the punpkins (I remember my dad swearing his way through carving a bagie!) so much easier to carve and love trying to do more complicated ones each year. I have 6 in the garage and we are going to practice today.

My kids love it too and come back with so many sweets, last year some were thrown out as the chews had gone all soggy by the time we got round to the last few! (171 sweets in ds2's bag!) Lots of houses are decorated here to let the kids know they are welcome and its a great night for the kids. Maybe its a rural thing, its just always been done here.

If you dont like it then fine, dont participate but dont call the rest of us 'beggars' or make snide remarks about how we have fun.

Disclaimer: this applies to places like ours and other communities/estates etc who do it properly, not to shed loads of people arriving just to palm sweets off strangers or harrass them. If you are being harrassed or suspect others are then tell the police, it isnt right at Halloween any more than at any other time of the year and it makes the rest of us look bad. BUT dont tar us all with the same brush please.

pastelmacaroons · 22/10/2016 13:02

If you knock on someones door whose house looks quiet and is NOT dressed up for Halloween =Begging.

If you knock on the door of a house draped in decs - pumpkins a go go - its participating

pastelmacaroons · 22/10/2016 13:07

No. But at other times of year no-one has bought sweets to specifically giveaway to children in fancy dress who knock at their door Grin grin]

so funny!

They go into it big round me, so many houses dressed up, people dressed up - adults dressed up Grin My house is a shrine, we have so many gentle sweet decs now. In fact I have just asked DH to get the huge box down this thread has reminded me Grin ( he is groaning)

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 22/10/2016 13:08

It's one night and ime most kids love it. What's not to like?

Not everyone does like it.

Not everyone gets the 'don't knock on door if there are no decorations' memo.

Our 82 year old next door neighbour does get scared as local teenagers knock on her door.

Bountybarsyuk · 22/10/2016 13:14

We love Halloween in this house, we've done it in two different neighbourhoods and its always fun- lots of younger children out with parents, hardly any teens to be seen, I really don't think it's that cool for them.

We only knock where there's a 'sign', such as lighted pumpkin/decorations though.

Many people are disappointed if they buy sweets and hardly anyone calls! Also, round our way, one family put on a huge show, decorate the whole house, dress up as zombies and rig up a projector showing scary films and have a smoke machine. That's what I call committing to Halloween.

We go home by 7.30, it's too cold and have tonnes of sweets anyway.

As others said, it's not begging to ask for the sweets people have specifically bought to give away! If you don't have any, and hate it all, shut the curtains and don't answer the door, round us so many people do have decorations/participate, people don't knock on other people's doors as it would be pointless.

ChestyNut · 22/10/2016 13:19

We don't celebrate. Each to their own.
I do object to the gangs of teenage boys dressed in trackies knocking til late tho.

HaveNoSocks · 22/10/2016 13:20

In my area you put a pumpkin outside your door if you're happy to have trick or treaters. Lots of people are happy to see cute kids dressed up and give them a sweet.

Mamatallica · 22/10/2016 13:23

I mentioned it because they weren't local kids that I knew, they were obviously just knocking on any random peoples doors.

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