To ask things you have done to ruin "the mood" with your partner?

[BowieFan]

Apparently me moaning about the colour of our ceiling when DP was kissing me was not very romantic, according to DP.

What mistakes have you made that killed the mood stone dead?

The quilt was caught on my foot and it was annoying me so I started pedalling my leg to try and get it off and he stopped and stared at me wondering what on earth I was doing wriggling about underneath him

I told him I was trying to sneak away and didn't think he'd notice, we ended up laughing then he farted and that was it, the mood was thoroughly killed.

Farfromtheusual that is outrageous behaviour!

Our first house had a huge bath. The night before we were due to move, I ran a bath for the two of us, lit candles and poured some wine. As we were both lounging in the steamy bubbles I asked suggestively, 'what are you thinking about?'

'The trampoline is going to be a bugger to dismantle...'

DP once started eating a big bag of crisps in the middle of me giving him a blow job. I don't even know where they came from . This was about 5 years ago now and we still laugh at it when we talk about blow jobs 😂

^^

When dp and I were getting down to it on our first time he asked what things I liked. As I was nervous I said "I just like to get it over with". I meant that in a way of getting over the initial embarrassment but I apparently didn't come across like that!
It didn't help that afterwards I (and I don't remember this bit) patted his back and said "that was nice"!!
We laugh about it now but I have said if I were him that it would probably have been our first and last time!

The absolute worse?

Broke his banjo string

He had partially torn it about a week earlier and was instructed to rest it. Week later he said he was ok to try again.

He gently penetrated me, suddenly stopped and said completely matter of fact "yep. I broke it"

I laughed thinking he was joking till he pulled out and blood everywhere

Now that was a mood killer

The crisps are hilarious! I'm sure it wasn't at the time!

There was a while when after sex DP would say "outstanding!" Which made me collapse in hysterics.

Oh and the time the kids were doing DofE and me and DP bought a toy but no batteries. DP running round the house naked shouting "For fuck's sake BowieFan why do we never have any fucking batteries?!?" really killed the mood!

Dh once farted during sex, which smelled so bad that I gagged for a short while. Eventually the stench dissipated and we continued, although not for long before DH suddenly decided he had to poo and disappeared into the bathroom. Total passion kill.

I once in a very drunken state decided to seduce DH (who was relatively sober) and then mid way through, while on top, fell off the bed not once, but twice and got myself stuck between the bed and the wall giggling hysterically before I was pulled up, put into bed and told to go to sleep.

Ive also had giggling fits during the act and laughed so hard I've pushed him back out!!

We got a kitten and it used to cry at night so we let it sleep in a basket in the corner of the bedroom. One night DH and I were getting down to it when I heard an odd noise. I turned my head slightly and there, perched on DH's shoulder, peering at me and purring like a jumbo jet taking off, is the fucking kitten. It put us both off a bit.

The very worst though was many years later, post kids. We're having an early night, youngest has finally moved out of our bedroom and into his own room so a night of celebratory "got our room back to ourselves" sex is on the cards. I'm on top when our ears, attuned to the sound, hear the pitter patter of small feet coming down the hall towards our room. "It's okay," DH says "I locked the door, then he calls out a gentle "go back to bed". So I stay where I am. Not actively sexing, just sitting there on him, waiting for whichever small person it is to go back to bed. A minute or two passes and we seem to be in the clear so we start back up... and the bedroom door suddenly starts to slowly open. DH has forgotten to lock it. In a panic he flings me off and dives to intercept the door before it opens far enough to give a view of what we were doing. When he flings me off I land too close to the edge of the mattress and topple over the side. I whack my arm and my hip off the radiator and then lie on the floor, dazed for a second, until I realise my boob is pressed up against the hot radiator and then I get up very quickly indeed. DH is still at the door negotiating child returning to bed. Small person doesn't accidentally see us doing the nasty but does hear me yelping "ow, ow, my fucking boob!". By this point DH has pulled on pants so that he can emerge from behind the door and take child back to bed. As he leads child away I hear her ask "what's wrong with mummy's fucking boob?"

Bowiefan Dh and I often try to outdo each other with saying something weird or funny after. He's insanely proud that he once managed to say "expelliarmus" at the appropriate time!

As for ruining the mood, we had tv on and there was a comedy show on. Something particularly hilarious caught my attention and I ended up just sort of slumped into dh's neck while trying to supress a giggle fit. It didn't work!

Fell asleep with my hand round his knob and my face on his thigh.

He woke me up to tell me to just go to sleep!

Very, very early on in my dating life, I was dating a lad little bit older, but considerably more inexperienced than me. We were at his mum's, both being teenagers at the time, and as soon as we got into his room he held me against the wall and started kissing me, it was lovely, and I made moves towards the bed, and he stepped away from me. Looking down at himself, he realised he was straining through his jeans somewhat and apologised profusely. Thinking it was all very sweet, I told him 'don't worry darling, I could barely even see it'.

Well not me so much, but the blooming dog.keeps killing it dead, last two times, appeared looming over a shoulder and.licked his face, time before making a kerfuffle getting inside a flipping pillow case. Must remember to shut him out

Fell off the bed and got stuck between there and the wall, laughing so much so he had to rescue me.

I climbed aboard and slipped so his todger got squashed.

Looked up and both cats were perched on the headboard, staring right at us following the movements. I couldn't stop laughing.

Bonus answer, not me but poor DP's boxer tent getting pounced on from nowhere by the kitten mid makeout session did the trick.

We now check for cats in the room first.

Ouch at kitten/tent, didbyou have to scrape him off the ceiling, them.claws are sharp

I've just woken DH up snorting at the big bag of crisps.

I once asked DH romantically - 'If we had both been on online dating, do you think they would have matched us?' DH, who works in IT, didn't look up from the iPad, just said 'I dunno, I'm not sure what algorithms they use.' Such a romantic.

We are getting a renovation done at the moment and it is going terribly. It is constantly on my mind. The length of time it's taking, how are we going to have the kitchen. Are we gonna be ready for christmas. Is our house going to be a building site FOREVER???? Lately mind is NEVER 'on the job'

Whilst having sex I asked something about the worktops

My dp was giving me oral sex and I farted in his face, I've never seen him move so quick, I was mortified but started hysterically laughing to the point where I started to wee

Missy Nature had a laugh making something so tiny and cute have razors attached to the feet.

I once asked DH romantically - 'If we had both been on online dating, do you think they would have matched us?' DH, who works in IT, didn't look up from the iPad, just said 'I dunno, I'm not sure what algorithms they use.' Such a romantic

Brilliant

"It's like you're wearing hairy shorts!" he said in disgust, and beetled off back to his own sofa to watch the telly.

I just choked on my tea at this.

These are brilliant! I woke DP up with my silent laughter shaking over the bag of crisps 😂😂😂

This thread is fab.

Same as a pp broke DH banjo string. Was like a scene from a massacre. We thought I'd come on and I was slightly worried hysterical I was haemorrhaging.

Mattress was two days old

It's still broken now, at least if we ever get divorced he has something to remember me by.

Also DH the poor man got an infection in his tubes and one of his balls swelled too 3 times the size of the other one. I couldn't stop laughing whenever he got naked. I didn't dare go in the hospital room in case I laughed.

He's fine now I'm a horrible horrible wife and he is a saint for putting up with me.

Lying back and suggesting DH 'hop on'!! Not sure what came over me.