To fake a letter from the council?

[BrumBrumBishes]

Have 4 children. 3 boys in one room. From 6 am (sometimes 5.30am) they wake up shout, bicker, squabble.
Scare each other. Chase each other.

"Get out of my bed!"
"I'm telling mum!!"
"That's mine!"
....que tears .

I'm sick to death of it. Seriously.

I don't know what to do. I've lost my temper so many times because my wake up call everyday is a barrage of noise and fighting.

AIBU to fake a letter from the council about noise pollution or a complaint from a neigbour saying they have to stop all the noises in the morning or we will be evicted?

I don't know what else to do. It's really upsetting me.

My mental health is already in decline for other reasons and this is just making me hate waking up.

Midsummers she does have enough room for them all. They're all in the house aren't they? She hasn't had to decant one or two to the garden
She's asking advise on the behaviour, not on how to get a bigger house!

Midsummer what has your question got to do with this thread?

Could you have your daughter share with you and split the boys over the other two rooms?

How old are the children?

We have a screens off at 7am rule in our house. If the DC wake up early they are allowed to watch TV or play on a phone until 7am on a school day. Would that work for you? Could they have their tablets in the morning or watch TV provided they keep quiet?

Rather than a stick approach what about a carrot one.

Star charts in which stars count towards something positive? They can see how they are earning. Start off gently - so that they can actually earn something!

Whether it be toys, trips, sweets etc etc.

It'd have to be for all, your DD included.

A friend of mine did this to calm things down between her two sons, 4 and 2. I don't think she actually got them anything that she wouldn't have done anyway.

MidsummersNight Wed 19-Oct-16 09:38:28
How did you end up having 4 kids with not enough room for them all?

Because this question is helpful to the op in what way?

Op it was very similar in my house as a child, I am the eldest of 4 with 3 brothers all born within 6 years of each other. I was in the box room and the 3 boys shared. It was never dull in our house or quiet lets say! They ended up converting the garage and sleeping downstairs (think it was a relief for them to be downstairs!) My poor parents somehow coped and got us through to adulthood god knows how though, I do recall my dm breaking down and completely losing it with us on numerous occasions!

You have shot yourself in the foot by removing the tablets. I'd allow them to be on the tablets/TV as long as they are very quiet from 5.30am til 7, then everyone gets ready under your watchful eye, then if there's time, back on TV til school time. I don't think, if you are in a small place, that the very early morning is the time for boisterous play.

If banning the tablets for weeks hasn't worked yet, it's not going to work. I would incentivise them to be quiet by giving them the tablets. You have to do what you have to do when you are on your own with four very active children at that time of day.

God forbid children learn that sometimes less than desirable situations have to be lived with.

OP can they put the tv on or something? Make a plan before bed for what they do in the morning? I've also got three boys but they tend to get themselves up then watch DanTDM or something after they've had breakfast. Definitely not noisy. They share as well.

Thing is though if tablets etc are already gone then you've got no consequence - they've got nothing to lose.

I don't know the solution, though. All I've ever done is use consistency, if I say something it'll happen, I don't make threats I won't carry through and the kids know that (unlike with DH who shouts threats then gives up so they ignore him).

I also reward every tiny good thing whilst ignoring the bad.

I remember sardines ( 3 kids in a 2 bed house) so you have my sympathy.

(Sorry the first part of mine was in response to those saying OP needs to move the kids into different rooms)

I think there can be an issue with taking electronics etc away when there are 3 of them in the room. What if one of them is behaving himself and the other 2 kick off? You can't establish the facts fairly because the trouble starts while you are sleeping. I do generally think that earning electronic privileges is a good thing but in this case it would be hard to enforce fairly and potentially gives 1 child power over the other 2. It could cause more arguing.

I don't see a problem with a fictional letter or even just a pretend phone call from the council which means that now Mum has to establish new rules.

The tooth fairy rang me to let me know that my elder daughter wasn't brushing for 2 full minutes, Father Christmas let me know that the younger one sometimes got out of bed. I don't see much difference - especially if the council man gives you a call after a good week (or even couple of days) to let you know that the improvement has been noticed.....

Could you perhaps move Dd in with you and split the boys ?
Or get a sofa bed for yourself in the living room and move 2 of the boys into your old room ?
How big is your Dd's room. Coukd you put up a floor plan. Could you divide it with a temp stud wall ?

Hmm. Ages might help, OP?

The above poster who told a quite frankly appalling lie to get a house. You do realise you may have stopped a genuine victim getting rehoused by doing that ?
The op wanted help with discipline/living arrangements in current house, not what lies to tell to be rehoused.

user1476781406 what a horrible thing to lie about.

It just make it harder for genuine case.

But then what happens when your kids go to school and tell teachers they're being evicted?

Do people really ask the school to help with things like this, being noisy at home?? Surely the teacher doesn't have time to deal with that and if they're well behaved at school it doesn't affect them!

Oh and also HOW OLD ARE THEY???

CaspoFungin I have asked the school for help when dd wouldn't go to sleep at a reasonable hour which in turn meant she couldn't concentrate in school.

The school did a special assembly about the importance of having enough sleep as it recharges the brain and help them to learn in school.

Dd then went to bed and went to sleep without a problem.

Schools realise that problems at home can effect school life.

I would do as expat suggested and sleep in the living room/lounge.

Otherwise it makes no sense to have three crammed into one room.

user

caspo it's not the teachers that deal with these issues - many schools have family liaison officers (Auntie FLO's) who deal with the pastoral side of the DCs care so that the teachers have the best possible chance of progressing learning in the classroom. There are some studies showing the benefits of such an approach.

Early waking, fighting and being yelled at by mum before school will all impact on their ability to learn. The OP says they are doing well at school - imagine how much better they'd do if this was resolved!

I pretended to be the victim of domestic violence to get my council house. - I cannot believe you're admitting that even behind a false username. Are you not completely fucking ashamed of your behaviour? if not then you should be! What a wonderful example to set for children!

It seems MNHQ think user1476781406's post is acceptable, since reports have been ignored for 5 hours.

Oh, hurrah, it seems from AS that user1476781406 is a new poster, a social worker, and a sexual assault/rape victim.

Or a bullshitting Goady Fucker.

But it's my post that'll be deleted, because 'troll hunting' is against Guidelines