DH being U about baby in restaurant?

[StripedSwad]

We are on holiday with 3 month BF baby. There's a fancy restaurant on site which we are booked in to

we have his mother with us, who will babysit, but she would need to bring baby down to us if he needs to be fed. Restaurant has said no to this as is adults only.

DH thinks this is terrible and wants to complain as baby will only be down a short while and purely for feeding, whereas I think it's just one of those things you accept with a baby and we will just have to eat elsewhere. So who is right?

If I had indulged that attitude I would have been sidelined for over a decade and my oldest children would never have seen the inside of a restaurant or a museum.

I would love to know which part of the America you live in where its frowned upon to take babies or young children in to ALL restaurants and museums.

If I had indulged that attitude I would have been sidelined for over a decade and my oldest children would never have seen the inside of a restaurant or a museum.

Nothing like a bit of exaggeration is there....

There's "more than a whiff of the emporer's new clothes" about your entire argument math

Shall we just leave math to her monologue? she's not engaging in any rational argument or discussion, just rambling. It's too much like reading a poorly constructed essay by a lower grade pupil, thinking that if they keep repeating the same thing, their grades might improve

I don't post often but have to here. Math - you are being ridiculous. There are very few places which don't allow children compared to the thousands that do. If you want to take your kids out for a meal, go to one of these family friendly places. If you want a child free night go to a child free place. Simple really.

Hahaha Mathanxiety! Seriously? Respecting other people's wants is a feminist issue? You do realise that a man wouldn't be allowed to bring a child into an adult only restaurant no more than a woman would be?
And the relevance to living in major US city is what? I have lived in a major US city for over 15 years although I have now returned home, I still don't think my rights trump anyone else's!

Mathanxiety - You CHOSE to have a larger than average family, no one forced it on you. So why should the rest of us have to put up with your rowdy kids?! If I choose a child-free restaurant, I expect it to be child-free, hoity-toity or not. There are plenty of places that welcome children, especially in major US cities. YOU go there and work on your PND there! And let the rest of us have a peaceful, child-free meal.
Sheesh... talk about entitled.

Munstermonchgirl math never does, threads always go this way.
She doesn't care about childless couples.
God forbid a woman who can't have kids wants to go places and not be surrounded by them, what a bad person
It's hilarious that all kids can be taught to behave from an early age clearly kids that can't behave were just never taught

I posted on this thread a couple of weeks ago and it's just popped up in 'active threads' and that math is still dragging this out especially as the OP hasn't been back.

Fucking hell, I think that Math is the weirdest poster I've ever encountered on MN. She's obsessive.

Bingo!
Misshelena, you have just won me a bet.

I made my bed and now I must lie in it.

The same punitive attitude that I saw here earlier. "You choose to have a baby and now you have to suffer the consequences."

It is very sad that you see your fellow women in this way, as people who are somehow less than human and who should keep themselves and their horrible children invisible and unheard (because in your eyes they seem to all be rowdy, screaming, smelly hooligans whose very presence ruins a night out for civilised adults). Seriously, I weep for you.

Do you think women who have children should stay home and not work? What about paid maternity leave? Why should people who choose to have a baby be entitled to time off with pay? Surely there should be some means of compensating the child free for the inconvenience their breeding colleagues put them through?
Do you think breastfeeding women should not have access to rooms to pump milk in, or break periods to pump, or space in the company fridge to store milk in when obviously it could be used for the food of people who clearly take their work more seriously?
I would really like to know your opinions on those matters.
You want to live in your own little bubbles at a time when this planet has billions of people?
You want to sideline breastfeeding mothers so you can indulge the fantasy that you do not have children?
And you call others 'entitled'?

No matter what you are paying for your 'adults only' night out, it is not enough to warrant the rarefied air you think you are entitled to.

And I just love the posters who keep on responding and responding and responding and then calling me 'obsessive'.

I think maths' head will explode in a minute

Math needs to take that straw person, find a cowardly lion and a tin man, and go see the wizard for a brain.

Or at least a reality check. Literally not one person on this thread is advocating "never let children go anywhere, ever", which is the position math seems to THINK we are taking. The overwhelming position here ACTUALLY seems to be "hey, neat that you want to take your kids out - there are myriad places to do that! But not all places welcome kids, so perhaps don't take your kids to those places".

Math, I don't care that you have five kids. I don't care that you taught them to behave. I don't care that you seem to be on a crusade to make sure women's rights are respected. What I care about is what you are PRETENDING to care about: the right to choose what kind of night out I have.

If you are so hot on women's rights, try remembering that as well as the right to choose to take our kids where we want to, we also have the right to choose NOT to take them. And when I CHOOSE to have a night out without my children, if I CHOOSE to go to a place where children are not invited, it's pretty rank for you to CHOOSE to ignore all of that and do exactly as you please. Because then you're not championing a woman's right to choose how to spend her evening. You're trampling over my rights in the pursuit of your own.

Undoubtedly you will skim this comment, pick out the parts you can twist, and then write a lengthy, wordy reply that addresses none of my actual points and instead only furthers your manic agenda. You should know, however, that your antics are not winning your cause any supporters. Instead you are merely amusing and aggravating us by turns. It is time to take your faux-women's rights campaign somewhere else. It is not wanted or relevant here.

MN a place of extremes.

"If you don't want to listen to/put up with children when you eat, go to a child free place"

"Adult only restaurants shouldn't exist because they discriminate against those ebf"

jayisforjessica i love that kids can be taught to behave from an early age...blanket statement.
Well yes possibly some can but not all.
That will def make some mothers whose kids aren't like that feel wonderful

If you can't have kids and don't want your nose rubbed into it, tough there are no places for you you don't count

kali110 She's also completely ignored the fact that we don't care how well behaved or well trained these hypothetical children are in the child-free restaurant. They could be the most well-behaved children in the world and they still wouldn't be welcome in a child-free environment - because heaven forbid we have an adult conversation about sex drugs and rock n' roll politics, books we've read and movies we've seen without having to keep it all at a child appropriate level!

And when I say "child appropriate level" I'm not talking about a Helen Lovejoy, clutching my pearls shrieking "please think of the children" child appropriate level. I mean child appropriate in the sense of not having to interrupt our flow to explain concepts that are over the childrens' heads, or stopping altogether to take the children to the washroom, or sitting patiently while the children relate tedious tales of elementary school life.

I do love my son dearly! And I think he's a sweet, funny, well spoken little boy! But he is a little boy, and sometimes I'm just in the mood for talking to people who aren't little boys! And that doesn't mean I love him any less, just that a change is as good as a rest! Am I right, people??? (Not you, math. I know you think I'm wrong. I hope you also know I think you're barking.)

kali110 She's also completely ignored the fact that we don't care how well behaved or well trained these hypothetical children are in the child-free restaurant. They could be the most well-behaved children in the world and they still wouldn't be welcome in a child-free environment - because heaven forbid we have an adult conversation about sex drugs and rock n' roll politics, books we've read and movies we've seen without having to keep it all at a child appropriate level!

And when I say "child appropriate level" I'm not talking about a Helen Lovejoy, clutching my pearls shrieking "please think of the children" child appropriate level. I mean child appropriate in the sense of not having to interrupt our flow to explain concepts that are over the childrens' heads, or stopping altogether to take the children to the washroom, or sitting patiently while the children relate tedious tales of elementary school life.

I do love my son dearly! And I think he's a sweet, funny, well spoken little boy! But he is a little boy, and sometimes I'm just in the mood for talking to people who aren't little boys! And that doesn't mean I love him any less, just that a change is as good as a rest! Am I right, people??? (Not you, math. I know you think I'm wrong. I hope you also know I think you're barking.)

kali110 She's also completely ignored the fact that we don't care how well behaved or well trained these hypothetical children are in the child-free restaurant. They could be the most well-behaved children in the world and they still wouldn't be welcome in a child-free environment - because heaven forbid we have an adult conversation about sex drugs and rock n' roll politics, books we've read and movies we've seen without having to keep it all at a child appropriate level!

And when I say "child appropriate level" I'm not talking about a Helen Lovejoy, clutching my pearls shrieking "please think of the children" child appropriate level. I mean child appropriate in the sense of not having to interrupt our flow to explain concepts that are over the childrens' heads, or stopping altogether to take the children to the washroom, or sitting patiently while the children relate tedious tales of elementary school life.

I do love my son dearly! And I think he's a sweet, funny, well spoken little boy! But he is a little boy, and sometimes I'm just in the mood for talking to people who aren't little boys! And that doesn't mean I love him any less, just that a change is as good as a rest! Am I right, people??? (Not you, math. I know you think I'm wrong. I hope you also know I think you're barking.)

I am so sorry, I don't know why that posted twice D:

I am so sorry, I don't know why that posted twice D:

My DCs were not 'naturally compliant'. It took a lot of work to get them to behave themselves, and a lot of practice. You do indeed have to start somewhere.

And to hell with the other diners while you're doing it.

Acceptable in family restaurants. Not so much in fine dining/expensive ones.

Same goes for the cinema and theatre. Start with children's shows. Don't take them when it will ruin an expensive night for others.

jayisforjessica you wanted to get your point across that much!

Why are some people absolutely incapable of accepting that some people want to eat out, sometimes, in a child free restaurant. Surely these places are in their minority anyway, so why go on and on about it? I'm sick of hearing it. Can you not just see it for what it is? There is no malice or underlying thoughts behind it. Most of the places I eat in are child friendly, I don't even give it a second thought, but if I was going somewhere that was adults only, then for goodness sake allow me to enjoy that without your arguments going into oppressing mothers, rights etc, etc,I am a mother myself before anyone says anything.

Math -- just fyi, I have 2 kids, 16yo and 13yo. I also live in a major US city... breastfed 6 months each...took 7 months maternity leave for each one and extremely appreciative of the fact that 4 of those 7 mos were at full pay (though I wish it everyone could have this)...

Hmmm what else? oh, I also want to go out to dinner once in a while w dh in a CHILD-FREE restaurant. And I support anyone's right to NOT have a child, if so she/he chooses.

Oh and as to , "I made my bed and now I must lie in it." -- YES.