To Think There are Worse Things I Could Be Than Fat??

[SlimbobJones]

RAGE!

My colleagues were having a very loud conversation this morning about things they dreaded being "when they grew up"... 6 out of 10 of them said "Fat and ugly" or "fat" or "old and fat" etc etc etc...

I'm fat and always have been. I'm not channel 5 documentary standards yet but I'm currently in the process of shifting about 9 stone (1.5 stone down, whoop!). I'm also their line manager although we have a pretty relaxed office environment.

AIBU to think there are far worse things to be than fat?? I have a lovely life and haven't been held back by the fact I'm overweight one little bit. I also have no health issues but completely recognize this might change in the future, hence the weight loss efforts.

Anyway, the discussion continued onto how awful it must be for all those fat people and I casually asked what they considered "fat"... SIZE 16! I'd bloody love to be a 16 (I'm in 20's at the moment). I could understand their point if they were on about the morbidly, life limitingly obese and yes, that must be awful but a size 16??

Some of the most awful things they said (they knew I was in ear shot)

"How do they have sex?"
"I can't imagine hauling that much weight around"
"Why don't they just stop eating, it's killing them!"
"They can't do anything other than sit at home eating"
"I saw a fat girl at the gym and she was panting after 3 mins walking on the treadmill"

I think it's the "THEY" I object to, I'm not part of a different species!

As a team we get on pretty well, they are all under 30 (as am I) and from their feedback are pretty happy with me as a manager, so I'm loathed to pull them up on it :( should I?

Now I can't help thinking they all think those things about me and that I'm a big fat lazy lump they all feel sorry for

I don't understand why society thinks it's ok to pick on and make fun of overweight people. I'm not overweight myself but my Mum has struggled with her weight over the years, yes she was overweight but she is a bloody lovely, warm and kind women. Mum has lost the weight now and she still lovely but the people that said cruel things to her will always be nasty fuckers!

There are so many worse things to be than overweight. I'd take being overweight any day rather than be a Nasty fucker and pick on people, and make them feel bad

While a discussion about obesity is not wrong in itself, comments like "how do they have sex" are out of line and fucking rude

OP all the best with your weight loss

While a discussion about obesity is not wrong in itself, comments like "how do they have sex" are out of line and fucking rude

I did have to bite my tongue to stop myself from saying "Hanging from the ceiling, covered head to tow in margarine basted like a turkey"

Whatever floats your boat, Slimbob

I try not to think of myself as "fat". I prefer the term "bouncy".

You're entitled to have opinions about "the obesity crisis" as a general issue. You're never entitled to mock, scoff or sneer at people.

You seem to be on it regarding your weight, and that is fantastic. I am pretty shocked at your colleagues' behaviour though. They were being directly and quite devastatingly rude and HIGHLY unprofessional.

If you had been a client, within earshot of all of those comments, I think it would be safe to say that you would be removing your business and any future business from the company, right? And under those circumstances I think the staff in question would be facing a disciplinary of some kind.

They were behaving like little children on a bus who loudly ask WHY DOES THAT MAN HAVE NO HAIR? and much like little children, they need to be educated on what is appropriate and what is bloody not.

I know you are reluctant to call them on it because you get on well, but as a line manager, you have the authority to turn this into a lesson on professionalism in the workplace, and I think you should use it.

I'm really cross on your behalf here. You're taking it good humour, but it's okay to be a bit pissed off, and to act on it, I think.

I cannot bear ignorance towards weight or any other personal attribute....I really don't see how it is ever ok to personalise any concerns in regards to issues such as obesity
...ultimately the concerns about the "obesity issue" is the impact on health services....then campaign for more money into the NHS and better efficiency not target people who may be overweight (plus bugger the arbitrary guidelines of what size is fat....that's ridiculous.....one set of random people agreed on clothes sizes ...they do not define someone's health)

I have recently lost 5.5 stone and have gone from very overweight to a body that personally suits me....I love wearing different clothes and feeling better.....but woe betide any "fat" shamers in front of me

I had some in my team (op I'm a manager too) who amusingly decided to try to cosy up by considering me on the "thin" team....I have to say it didn't end well for them and they got a flea in the ear

If you are a close group then I get why you might choose your time and way of dealing with it but grrr I really have no respect for fat shamers....I would personally query their work attitude .....if they discriminate once then would they do it over something else as well?

YANBU! I'm sorry you heard all of that You sound like a wonderful person! I am completely against body shaming. People seem to only notice that obesity is on the rise, and turn a blind eye to eating disorders as a result of comments like that. My DD has a history of eating disorders (has one at the mo - binge eating), and the amount of body shaming she hears around is horrible for her. Of course there's worse things than being fat. Regardless of body shape/size, i think all people have amazing unique qualities and are beautiful in their own way. Hope you're okay OP, and well done on the weight loss!!

Regardless of body shape/size, i think all people have amazing unique qualities and are beautiful in their own way.

Exactly. It's a bit late for me to talk about what I don't want to be when I "grow up" but if someone asked me what I don't want my children to be when they grow up I would say vain, obsessed with their looks, judgemental, and bullying.

I would rather they be fat and confident, kind, and open minded than thin and vain, bullying and judgemental.

I am fat - size 20/22. I am beautiful. I don't enjoy discussing anything to do with weight with people that are not a similar size to me. I work very hard to love my body and myself, "I'm so fat" and "I need to lose weight" from people that are almost half my body size can wait until I'm not around.