to think my dd isnt overweight?

[marvelousdcomics]

So, my DD (14) has suffered ED's. Latest one was binge eating which was traumatising for her. Went to GP appointment yesterday (we do monthly just to check how she is), he weighed her. After, when dd wasn't in the room, he told me she is overweight???? She has put a bit of weight on obviously, due to the binging and everything, but she doesn't look overweight at all. Yes, shes gained a bit of fat but not so much that she looks 'fat'. I will not be telling her anything that was said while she wasn't there, I just want her to be happy and healthy. Is weighing yourself even accurate? She was 5'3" and 127lbs by the way. She really doesn't look fat, actually quite slim.

[crashdoll]

YANBU! Binge eating and even getting overweight (not saying your DD is though!) is not uncommon when recovering from anorexia. It's common to swing between eating disorders. I think the GP wasn't wrong to suggest she may be gaining weight more than she needs to but the other advice was crap. It will take her some time to regulate her eating after starving herself, so taking food away is the worst thing to do. Keep an eye on her weight but don't mention it. Just encourage her and support her to keep working on her mental health and emotional issues....it sounds like you already are though. You sound like a lovely mum who really gets it, she's lucky to have you. :)

[marvelousdcomics]

Noah, no she isn't. We threw away the scales after her anorexia. She's happier now. When she 'recovered' from anorexia, she was 93lbs and still looked like a skeleton. GP said that was a good weight, even though she ws only eating around 1500 calories a day and over exericsing. She wasn't happy then at all.

[NoahVale]

good luck op

[marvelousdcomics]

Thank you so much crashdoll. I also suffered eating disorders in my teens, swinging between them. I'm now a perfectly average sized woman, and I'm sure dd will be too. Because I've been there, I know how dd feels and I think the GP was totally wrong to suggest cutting her food down. Thank you

[iloveeverykindofcat]

No judgement on whether she is overweight or not, but I don't think BMI charts apply to 14 year olds.

[marvelousdcomics]

Thank you Noah

[Thefitfatty]

*A bmi of 22 is approaching the upper end of normal which whilst nor a problem now, might make her overweight as she gets older"

See statements like these are what gives young girls eating disorders in the first place.

She has a healthy BMI. She's at least a stone away from being anywhere near classified as overweight and if she's active and very into sport as the OP says, than she's probably carrying quite a bit of muscle as well, which means that with a BMI of 22 she's a perfectly healthy weight.

She shouldn't be told that she "may get overweight" as she gets older, or that she needs to watch her weight at all, she should be encouraged to be healthy, both physically and mentally, and that should mean banishing the scales and focusing on good food, sport and her self esteem.

[Liiinoo]

GPS are often shaky on EDs so I would take his advice with a pinch of salt. At least he had the awareness not to say it in front of DD.
When DD1 had anorexia her GP retired and DD was the first patient her next GP had encountered with the condition. By then DD was in recovery and she spent most of her GP check-ups educating the GP about the illness.

[Thefitfatty]

GP said that was a good weight, even though she ws only eating around 1500 calories a day and over exericsing.

Can you make a complaint against this GP? At 5 ft 3 and 93 lbs here BMI would be 16.5, that is very underweight. :( It's worrying that he thinks that's an ok weight....

[Lancelottie]

Can't scroll to see who said it, but some girls do grow much taller in mid teens, even after starting periods. Did has gone from 5'3 at 12 to about 5'8 at 15.

[marvelousdcomics]

Thank you so much thefitfatty! I completely agree with you. DD is nowhere near 'fat', and even if she was i would still concentrate more on her mental health first, which is my main concern. I agree with your last sentence too. Maybe if everyone did that then the incidence of eating disorders would decrease. Thank you so much, your advice is always amazing.

[marvelousdcomics]

Thank you Lillinoo, that's basically what dd and I had/have to do too.

Thefitfatty, I think I might do actually. At that point I could see she was struggling but he insisted she was fine. She was like that for about half a year and then the binging kicked in.

[theXfactor]

As a 14 year old with that height and weight then yes, she is overweight...

[Thefitfatty]

marvelousdcomics I'm glad I can reassure you. :) I had a GP very much like yours when I was growing up. She used to praise me when my weight came in as underweight and tell my DM how wonderfully thin I was going to be (in front of me). She'd start telling my DM that she had to watch my weight when I hit 125 lbs (at 5'6), to the point that my DM became very vocal about any weight gain and I would start starving myself if the scales went about 125.

It's not a way to live or to think about yourself. :(

[theXfactor]

Although the parents are often the last who will accept it

[marvelousdcomics]

Thanks for that, theXfactor 😒

Thefitfatty, I used to live like that too, although I'm glad my DM was supportive and helped me through it. I just want dd to be happy, healthy and to feel good. Thank you

[ageingrunner]

Is it helpful to keep going to that particular GP and having her weighed? Also, just a suggestion but I've read a book called Brain over Binge by Kathryn Hansen and it's the story of how she became anorexic as a sporty teenager, then developed binge eating disorder and a form of bulimia where she didn't make herself sick, but instead compulsively exercised after bingeing. It also explains how this pattern gets set in place as a reaction to the previous starvation, and explains how the brain works to try and encourage bingeing as a survival method.
It could be worth you reading it and perhaps sharing some of it with your dd. It's a really well written well referenced book and it's helped me to stop bingeing anyway. Good luck and hope your dd manages to find an equilibrium

[marvelousdcomics]

Ageingrunner thank you for that! I will check it out. I've also heard about binging to make up for the calories cut previously. DD would find that interesting and it would probably put her mind at rest a bit. Thank you

[TheCuriousOwl]

How the fuck is BMI 22 'approaching overweight'?? It's right in the middle of the healthy range?

So is 51% on an exam 'approaching 100%'? Utterly ridiculous.

[marvelousdcomics]

Thank you for that TheCuriousOwl Totally agree, thank you

[ageingrunner]

No problem marvellous I hope it is useful to you both

[PresidentOliviaMumsnet]

AHEM

[bibbitybobbityyhat]

Cringeing with embarrassment of the ignorance of posters on here who are missing the point re. whether the girl is overweight or not (and she isn't) and the far more crucial point that this is a child recovering from anorexia - and of course the GP is a twat!!

[Thefitfatty]

As a 14 year old with that height and weight then yes, she is overweight...

No she is not. Under no measurement, child or adult, is she overweight or even close.