to think my dd isnt overweight?

[marvelousdcomics]

So, my DD (14) has suffered ED's. Latest one was binge eating which was traumatising for her. Went to GP appointment yesterday (we do monthly just to check how she is), he weighed her. After, when dd wasn't in the room, he told me she is overweight???? She has put a bit of weight on obviously, due to the binging and everything, but she doesn't look overweight at all. Yes, shes gained a bit of fat but not so much that she looks 'fat'. I will not be telling her anything that was said while she wasn't there, I just want her to be happy and healthy. Is weighing yourself even accurate? She was 5'3" and 127lbs by the way. She really doesn't look fat, actually quite slim.

[Czerny88]

I agree that too much focus on diet / weight is probably a bad idea for a recovering anorexic, but am a bit about the advice to ignore the advice of the GP with their ten years' medical training in favour of the opinions of a few dozen randoms on a website.

9 stone plus for a teenaged girl of that height (given that girls are usually quite slim at that age) is on the heavy side (I'm also 5'3" and weigh quite a bit under 8 stone - no eating disorder - and I'm in my 40s). Whether she is "officially" overweight I don't know, but I'm surprised at the almost unanimous advice to dismiss the opinion of the GP who, I'm assuming, doesn't have any vested interest in expressing this opinion on your daughter's current weight.

I realise doctors don't always get it right and I'm not dismissing the OP's judgment, but surely a qualified medic who has actually met your daughter is in a better position to judge than a poster on mumsnet?

[ihatethecold]

As a 14 year old with that height and weight then yes, she is overweight

wtf is wrong with you??

[Thefitfatty]

wtf is wrong with you??

I asked that and my post got deleted.

[NoahVale]

i think you swore At a poster fitfatty?

[Thefitfatty]

i think you swore At a poster fitfatty?

Since when is swearing not allowed on Mumsnet?

[NoahVale]

perhaps the GP was just showing concern op, and is less knowledgeable about ED than you would wish, BUT you are under CAMHS, they are the people you need to take the advice from on this matter. and if you have thrown away the scales at least you Know the current weight

[NoahVale]

well fitfatty perhaps the poster took offence. it is not important to this thread though imo

[marvelousdcomics]

Thank you bibbity, you speak sense

I'm not sure if I specified (probably missed it out if the OP ) but dd is currently on period and she does get quite bloated, water weight, cramps etc. Not sure if that could impact her weight but for the past 2 months she has maintained 122lbs.

[ihatethecold]

9 stone plus for a teenaged girl of that height (given that girls are usually quite slim at that age) is on the heavy side (I'm also 5'3" and weigh quite a bit under 8 stone - no eating disorder - and I'm in my 40s).

Again, how is this comment helpful?

[NotAnotherUserName1234]

Is a monthly GP appointment still appropriate as she is now a healthy weight and getting help from camhs?

[Thefitfatty]

9 stone plus for a teenaged girl of that height (given that girls are usually quite slim at that age) is on the heavy side

No it isn't. It might SEEM to be for you, or to girls with a small build. But it is not heavy or unhealthy. And with ED's surely the focus should be health not appearance?

[marvelousdcomics]

Thank you ihatethecold and thefitfatty. You are both being helpful, I agree with both of you and I want to say thank you for actually helping address my op.

NotAnother, I think we have to have monthlys til the end of this year, so 2 more to go.

[marvelousdcomics]

Czerny, if I'm honest I don't really find your post helpful but thanks anyway. As I said, dd has maintained 122lbs for 2 months now, and it has only gone up this month. Shes happier now and tbh, I'm more worried about her mental healthy than trying to alter her body (which is perfectly fine, thank you)

[youarenotkiddingme]

Natural body shapes will have an effect on weight.

My friends DD is 'muscly'. Yes, she was a chubby child with a belly but ate the same diet as her younger stick thin sister.
From an early age she felt bad about this. Remember going to science exhibition and using the giant swing scale and her DD at 6 being mortified at her weight.
Now at 12 she's 5"6 with muscly legs and a wash board stomach! She still thinks she's fat she does sport everyday.

I'd go with your instincts OP you have personal experience of ED and know the mental and emotional stresses and that's something I suspect the GP has no actual first hand experience of.
If her bmi is healthy then it's fine.

[marvelousdcomics]

Thank you, youarenot. Shes always been muscly and quite 'solid', but slim at the same time, IYSWIM? Shes also extremely well developed, she hit puberty at 10.

[NoahVale]

is your DM around op?
does she have any words of wisdom

[user1471545174]

How awful that she was skeletal at 93lb but is still writing goal weights of 70lb, poor girl. 127lb is a good weight to maintain as she grows and BMI of 22 is a nice healthy target if she really likes targets. I had a youth filled with weight fluctuations and near-anorexia and now find BMI a safer target for my monthly weigh-in. Currently 23.1 so could lose a few pounds, but not panicking any more.

Good luck to you both with achieving a healthy relationship with weight

[crashdoll]

Czerny Did it not occur to you that GPs get very minimal training on eating disorders? Even mental health teams refer to tertiary services to provide specialist eating disorder support and treatment as they know it needs very specific and targeted support. There'll be a not insignificant number of us on here who do have more knowledge, understanding and experience of how to manage an eating disorder than many GPs.

I think OP is very well placed to help her daughter as she's been there herself. Eating disorders are very serious mental health problems with anorexia having the highest mortality rate of all mental illnesses. A GP should not be giving poor advice like that to an adolescent who is very vulnerable and it is very poor advice. It is perfectly normal to struggle to regulate your eating and weight when recovering from anorexia.

[OnceThereWasThisGirlWho]

Czerny surely a qualified medic who has actually met your daughter is in a better position to judge than a poster on mumsnet?

Gosh yes, it's not like there are any doctors on MN. All SAHMs with no previous career, obviously. And all that info out there from specialists - pfft! No, the GP is god and cannot be wrong.

9 stone plus for a teenaged girl of that height (given that girls are usually quite slim at that age)

What does this even mean? At 14 plenty of girls are almost fully developed.

[Czerny88]

Czerny, if I'm honest I don't really find your post helpful but thanks anyway.

So basically a post is only "helpful" if it states that you are right and your GP is wrong?

I'm not an expert, so I agree that I probably shouldn't have given my opinion on your daughter's weight - which may be absolutely fine - but I stick by what I said re. ignoring the GP's advice.

[marvelousdcomics]

Thank you user. Yes, it's been extremely hard and dd still struggles but it is improving quite a bit. Thank you

[youarenotkiddingme]

marvel friends DD started her periods at 10 so had gone through puberty too. I really do think it's hard for these young girls to have a woman's body at a child's age.
Also be careful of what her friends are saying. My friends DDs friends weren't meaning to be unkind I'm sure but not being able to wear NL teen range clothes at 11 and needing a size 6/8 really did have an effect on her.
My friend and I switched it around by pointing out the better choice she had now she could buy from top shop etc. i bought her a gift card and put £20 on it so she could get herself something.

[Bountybarsyuk]

In my opinion (and yes, I am not a medical expert, if anything this thread shows the OP needs to seek the advice of experts in ED which GPs most certainly aren't in the majority of cases), happiness in life comes from self-acceptance and avoiding or dealing with mental health issues. I think by far the most important thing here is that your dd feels happy with herself, and likes herself and is no longer at war against her body. Her weight is less important IMO although it sounds like it's fine anyway. Well done on getting her to this stage, helping her have a healthy diet and lifestyle and more importantly, to move on from thinking weight is her enemy or defines her to the extent that she abuses her body. Weight is not the most important thing in the world, despite what some posters seem to be implying, and jeopardising recovery from an ED by banging on about it and limiting food would be madness. I'd try to seek advice from experts on this, and not your local GP.

[Bountybarsyuk]

I get by the way, that this is still an issue for her, but she has moved on from the actively hurting herself and her body stage. This is a huge achievement and I wouldn't for one second pass on what the GP said or limit food for a normal weight 14 year old who is doing sport.

[Czerny88]

Gosh yes, it's not like there are any doctors on MN. All SAHMs with no previous career, obviously. And all that info out there from specialists - pfft! No, the GP is god and cannot be wrong.

Crikey, chip on your shoulder, much? Where did I make any assertion that MN posters are all SAHMs? Or indeed that GPs can't be wrong? All I said was that the GP has medical training and has met the girl in question.

What does this even mean? At 14 plenty of girls are almost fully developed.

You can be fully developed and still slim! And you can be fully developed and have middle-aged spread / be overweight. Usually teenaged girls fit into the former category, in my experience (of working in a girls' secondary school).