to think my dd isnt overweight?

[marvelousdcomics]

So, my DD (14) has suffered ED's. Latest one was binge eating which was traumatising for her. Went to GP appointment yesterday (we do monthly just to check how she is), he weighed her. After, when dd wasn't in the room, he told me she is overweight???? She has put a bit of weight on obviously, due to the binging and everything, but she doesn't look overweight at all. Yes, shes gained a bit of fat but not so much that she looks 'fat'. I will not be telling her anything that was said while she wasn't there, I just want her to be happy and healthy. Is weighing yourself even accurate? She was 5'3" and 127lbs by the way. She really doesn't look fat, actually quite slim.

[marvelousdcomics]

Thank you cinnamal

Thank you everyone

[Highlandfling80]

Really xfactor I have just gone a calculation and it suggests that BMI is fairly meaningless at this age but states weight isvwithin an average range.

[Cinnamal]

OP, sorry I haven't read the full thread so apologies if I'm repeating something. Binge eating is extremely common after anorexia, I think the reasoning is that after a prolonged period of starvation the body does all it can to regain what it needs. Overshooting a healthy weight is to be expected as part of the recovery process and can be welcomed as a stage of recovery! As she continues to work on her recovery the need for binge eating should reduce and a normal relationship with food should hopefully develop, chances are her weight will stabilise then at a natural set point for her.

Having been anorexic she is probably acutely aware of the slightest change to her body shape, and any mention of excess weight gain at this point could well lead to a relapse, or bulimia symptoms developing.

It sounds like by not focusing on her weight you are doing everything right, and I really hope your daughter continues to be happy

[Wallywobbles]

To put the weight in perspective my 11 yo DD is fairly curved but slim and weighs 106lbs at the same height as your daughter.

I'm also the same height but in my late 20s I weighed 133lbs as a seriously fit swimmer.

It really depends on her build and fitness levels.

[marvelousdcomics]

Lightsoff, yes I suspect some weight gain will be due to natural/hormonal reasons. She is well developed and is still growing so it makes sense. Her periods have only just come back after her anorexia so her hormones will be all over the place anyway. Thank you

[Lightsoffplease]

Sounds like you're managing it all very well, op. Not sure what the gp was trying to say, maybe he was just implying you need to watch your dd's weight in case she puts on too much.

I was very skinny for most of my teenager years. Ages 14-15 I seemed to put on a bit of weight and then somehow lost it again but I am now just an average size 12. I've never had an ED but I was often teased for being 'stick thin' or told I was anorexic. It was just my natural frame. I realise your dd has had ED but thought it may be something to think about - that your dd is having/has had natural or hormonal weight fluctuations?

[dodobookends]

Children's BMI (girls) age 14 - the healthy range is from approx 16.5 - 23.5 so a BMI of 22 is approaching the upper end of that but still within the healthy range.

[marvelousdcomics]

Lightsoff, yes we are dealing with the MH issues and body image as a priority. She doesn't exercise much right now as we've been dealing with self harm, depression etc but it is beginning to increase. We don't keep that many processed foods in the house, no. We have a few things, but not a lot

[Lightsoffplease]

Firstly, you need to deal with your daughter's poor self-image and MH.

Secondly, is she exercising enough? Plenty of fresh air and long walks.

Thirdly, do you keep lots of processed, sugary foods in the house?

This thread saddens me

[foxtrotcharlie]

To all posters talking about bmi. Please do not use adult bmi charts for under 18s it will not be correct and potentially dangerous when treating an ed.

[madein1995]

No problem, I'm glad to have helped 😊

[marvelousdcomics]

Hi madein thank you! The sports classes are a great idea. She loves football so a club would be an option. I'll look around for anything else. We have 2 dogs so yes she could walk those, I never even thought of that. Thank you so much, your post is great and I appreciate it

[madein1995]

I agree with making sports fun, maybe boxercise classes? I've no real experience with ED but I did have a lot of anger in me as a teen and having something to channel that - boxercise- stopped me from taking the anger out on myself, if that makes sense? Doing sports classes rather than solitary activities like the gym or running would be better I think because itd be doing it because it's fun not just for the exercise part of it. Btw op that is a completely healthy and good weight for a woman or teenager of her height. I'm that height and my goal is 9 and a half stone. I find on here that lots of posters are near the bottom end of healthy bmi and seem to view their way as the right way. As a teen I constantly worried I was fat even when I wasn't, a size 6 skirt had to be taken in at age 14 yet I was convinced I was huge, so I think if you're doing it as a family it needn't be necessarily noticeable to dd - just buy healthier versions of things, get her involved in cooking meals which can only be a good thing, in regards to exercise classes maybe play it as getting her to go along with you? If you have a dog maybe you and dh are finding working and dog walking difficult so could she do it a few times a week? Maybe walks on the beach etc as a family with hot chocolate afterwards. I think making it incidental would be good - making it that her weight isn't the cause for upping the exercise but doing it matter of factly instead.

[crashdoll]

I'd be careful with the exercise and maybe encourage her to do things that are fun and sociable e.g. dance or Zumba. I took up ballet in my teens and it was an important factor in my recovery. It's very easy to get obsessed with running and going to the gym at this vulnerable stage in her recovery.

[Thefitfatty]

Running and lifting weights with a ficus on enjoyment and feeling healthy and strong, rather than weight loss, has made a huge difference for me as well. So I second Runninguphill with that. But do watch that she doesn't swap an ed for over exercising. It can be a fine line, but worth it if she can do it.

[marvelousdcomics]

Running, she isn't a runner but does like to run. Unfortunately because of all the problems, she hasn't been in a while. Shes really enthusiastic about sport though, so a programme like the C25K would be good. Thank you

[Runningupthathill82]

Your daughter's weight is fine, but what is not fine is her relationship with food and her self esteem, from the sounds of it.

I suffered from eating disorders as a teenager and the only thing that enabled me to get a handle on it was running.

Running made me to think about what my body could do rather than how it looked or how much it weighed. And as a side effect of that I'm the healthiest I've ever been.

Yes, the obsession with food is now an obsession with PBs and so on, but I have to channel that obsessive behaviour somewhere...and running works for me. Might a c25k programme be a good thing for you and your DD to focus on together? (Or 10k/ marathon training if she's already a runner?)

Very best of luck.

[marvelousdcomics]

Thank you everyone for your replies. Me and dd have done an online shop and ordered loads of healthy foods. We've also been to the park for a walk. All advice is appreciated and thank you to everyone

[OnceThereWasThisGirlWho]

czerny You can be fully developed and still slim! And you can be fully developed and have middle-aged spread / be overweight. Usually teenaged girls fit into the former category, in my experience (of working in a girls' secondary school).

So? What relevence does that have? You're basically saying that because adult are more likely to be overweight, it makes it more concerning that a teenage girl is a healthy weight.

[AyeAmarok]

Maybe the GP was just trying to give warning about trying to not let her continue to put weight on or it may become a problem.

I agree with the advice to focus on her eating healthy food, in controlled portions, and doing exercise she enjoys (as that will usually significantly help mental health). That should be the priority.

[GreatFuckability]

my dd is 13. she is 5ft and half an inch and weighs 8.5st. She has a 20 inch waist, but is curvy with big boobs. she also has a six pack and muscles from doing lots of gymnastics. she thinks shes fat, she wears size 6/8 clothes.

GP's are not experts on EDs.

[29redshoes]

I'd ignore the GP. Not sure what they were getting at, perhaps they were trying to tell you that her weight is going up and that maybe they think this is a symptom of bingeing? But it was really clumsy and unhelpful. Thank goodness they didn't say it in front of your DD.

Also anyone who says a BMI of 22 is "approaching overweight" is part of the problem IMO.

[madgingermunchkin]

BI was actually designed (but a statition!) to be used on a large scale for a popular average, so is a crock of shit on an individual basis.

I'd change GP if I were you.

[WeAllHaveWings]

She seems within the normal range for weight so I wouldn't worry yet, but if she continues binge eating it can change quickly. No-one here can see your dd and her build to determine if she is indeed overweight or not.

The usual obvious encouraging healthy eating choices, portion sizes and exercise however subtlety will be difficult and potentially have a negative effect on her MH due to her ED, you need professional advice to asses her individual needs and find out how to best support and guide her.

Perhaps a MNer who has been through this with their dc or even themselves may be able to offer an insight to the complexities of ED's, but others generic advice may not be applicable to your situation. Good luck in finding the appropriate strategies to support your daughter.

[Liiinoo]

CZerny

I suggested that GPs are often inexperienced in EDs and so his advice could be taken with a pinch of salt.
That advice was based on my own experience as a mental health professional and much more importantly, as the parent of an anorexia sufferer.

GPs in the UK are not trained to work with eating disorders any more they are trained to treat cancer or carry out open heart surgery. They are trained to recognise serious health problems and refer them to the appropriate specialists. This is not a criticism of GPs - they cannot possibly be an expert in every physical and mental health problem that they might encounter.