If I read one more post about how some poor little man should be sat down with a rota, an explanation, and a plan re running THEIR house and looking after THEIR kids I think I'll explode.
Nobody did this for me, and I wasn't born with the blueprint for it in my brain. Women do it because they see it's important and it needs doing. They don't judge their worth on whether they have to clean a toilet or change a nappy. They don't see it as women's/men's work, just normal day to day life. They respect their surroundings, want to care for their children and make life run as easily as possible.
If men had the above view, the OP's children would now be dressed and washed, the house would be reasonably clean and tidy, and nobody would have missed out on anything. The OP is very organised, all her dp has to do is read a list, ask her the odd question and use his bloody common sense. And get off his bleedin' phone.
My ex could basically dismantle a car and rebuild it. Couldn't work the washing machine though, or iron, or keep things together if I was ill. Funnily enough he now irons, washes, does all the women's work I used to do, but on his own, in his own house. Funny that.
When you're better OP tell him how useless he's been since you've been ill. Remind him that it's a deeply unattractive quality, and few women feel sexually attracted towards a man child. Tell him you won't be drawing up a chart, but expecting him to do what he does at work. That is, have some self respect, take the "job" seriously, notice what goes on, get involved, pull his weight and stop taking the piss.
If he chooses not to, stick his phone where the sun doesn't shine and ask him to shut the door on his way out.