To be pissed off with anti-child threads on a parenting forum?

[ItShouldHaveBeenJessMass]

I love Mumsnet. I love the diversity on here. However, lately I have seen more and more threads appearing (possibly from trolls) about how awful kids are, how the OP is so glad they are child-free, how they dont want kids etc, etc.

It's a parenting forum. I'm not suggesting for a minute that anyone should be excluded from any internet site, but the judgement of parents by non-parents on here is becoming more prolific by the day. You don't want kids? Cool. I hadn't planned on becoming a mother either, but here I am! I honestly don't care who joins MN, and I'm love learning about different viewpoints/lifestyles, but the anti-child crap? Why join in the first place?

AIBU?

Also, even those of us who have kids, some have older kids and are now at different stages of our lives. My BF has four children. The youngest is 14, the oldest is 22. I have one who is 16. We actively avoid child friendly places,- even when we go out for coffee, and certainly when we go out to eat in the evening.
My other good friend has no children. It's actually really refreshing to have a friend who has no children ( by choice by the way)
I have little interest in younger children, and in fact find them irritating a lot of the time.
My interests are wide and varied.
You need to understand that not everyone loves other people's kids and finds them interesting.
This site is about so much more than kids and parenting.

Firstly, I love my DS and this is not a 'jealousy' issue! [sceptical]

I was in fact referring to the plane thread, but also a thread the other day where someone posted that they dislike children. It just seems a bit off to me, that's all. Of course you don't have to like kids to join MN, but posting about how you actively dislike them on Mumsnet is a little strange to me.

Clearly I'm in the minority!

creampastry. 'You're saddled with a kid'. Kind of proving my point, there...

Its not a parenting forum any more

Oh. Ok. My mistake.

Yanbu. I would love to be able to hide threads without having to click into them. Weekends are always worse on mn because the schools are off.

I can't say I've noticed a lot of those threads (or maybe I've just not read them) but Mumsnet does have the byeline 'by parents for parents' at the top left of the page. So I can see why people assume it is parent-and-child focused.

...well yes, that and the name

petit I've been on Netmums, hun 💞 . I hated it!

This isn't a post about child free people being on MN. It's a post about child-free people (or at least those who claim to be - you can never be sure, i.e the plane thread) making unpleasant remarks about parenting styles and Other People's Children. Until you've done it, please don't judge us. I get that children can be noisy and irritating (my DS is currently doing some sort of indoor Olympics involving sofa cushions and a lot of shouting), but snide remarks about parenting from people who are not parents kind of annoys me. Walk a mile in another peson's shoes and all that jazz...

jelly. Exactly. This afternoon, I will join a Minecraft forum and tell them all what a bunch of dullards they are. I'll report back.

'By parents for parents' does rather suggest that actively being derogatory about children and parenthood isn't really on.

Childfree people posting about various things perfectly politely is obviously not an issue.

" you're jealous because you're saddled with a kid" or " I hate children, they're basically pets but geekier and less cute" ( I paraphrase but that's a real one), not so much.

Yanbu

manu. Yep. This is the point I'm trying (and clearly failing) to make! It's not about parents versus non-parents. It's about judgemental remarks from those who haven't done it on a parenting forum (although apparently, it no longer is).

Yep, I'm right with you.

I think maybe some people haven't seen the rash of child- hate threads, TBF.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2747033-MNHQ-here-step-this-way-to-support-your-favourite-website-for-parents-no-not-that-one-duh?reverse=1

Manu. I think you have a point. I guess I notice them more because I am a parent, and can't help wondering the motive behind them. Perhaps PPs are right and I'd be better off on Netmums you can't fucking swear on there, though, bollocks

I have no problem with non parents on the site but I think it is still first and foremost a site for parents, and I find it incredibly rude when non-parents post stuff that is unsupportive and unpleasant about children. It's not the same as coming on and moaning about your own kids, IMO.

It's about judgemental remarks from those who haven't done it

Sorry, so you are now judging those who 'haven't done it' and trying to police what people say.

As long as it hasn't broken MN rules posters are free to say what they like.

If you don't like it, don't click and read it.

Parents aren't a homogeneous mass. Not everyone is the same. Nor are children.

oh and the statement haven't done it is extremely patronising to those that are unavailable to have children for whatever reason

This thread is becoming funny :)

Manu. Thanks for the link. I really do love it, and it deserves to win. Might leave the 'comments' box empty though...

But piglet the militantly, nastily anti-child brigade are inviting truisms such as that by being so vile in the first place.

A handful of posters seem to want blanket permission to be downright nasty because they'll start screaming 'infertility' if anyone dares call them on it.

It can all be avoided by everyone posting civilly about their differing views.

YABU

Nearly all the anti-child posts I read on MN come from parents who come out with the 'love my kids, hate everyone elses'.

Also, it's an internet forum. If you don't like it just keep on scrollin'. Unless it's offensive (as in legitimately offensive) thread, in which case report it.

Do you think describing parenthood as being 'saddled with a kid' is offensive *pompom'?

What about 'children are basically pets'?

I can see the phrase 'saddled with a kid' being offensive to some people. No idea about the pet one, I'd need to read it in the context of the thread it is on.

piglet. My DS has ASD; I'm used to being judged on a daily basis when he has tantrums in public. It's par for the course. I'm not 'policing' anything. I'm asking for a bit of respect from posters without children (and Im not insensitive enough not to understand that this is not necessarily by choice; please dont patronise me) who eeem to think its acceptable to criticise parenting styles on a parentimg forum (except it's not, apparently)

I've read posts on MN where people refer (affectionately one assumes) to their child as being similar to a labrador in terms of watering and exercise needs.

Nearly all the anti-child posts I read on MN come from parents who come out with the 'love my kids, hate everyone elses'.

Yes. This. ^^ Barely a thread goes by without this gem cropping up.