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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To report this to OFSTED?

42 replies

ShiftLD · 14/10/2016 10:13

My daughter (6yrs) was "left behing" three times this year. Twice at dismissal times, me at the gate seen the whole class coming down and not DD. Teacher had no idea. I went inside school searching for her, teacher too, I finally found her crying at the playground with the late class teacher (she got down by one stair and I went up by the other). This happened twice, once because she went to the toilet close to dismissal time and the other because she was looking for her reading book. The third time happened yesterday, she went to the toilet and the teacher ' accidently' left her behind to go to gym class in another building outside the school. Luckly, even sobbing, she ask for help and another teacher went with her to the place, I can't immagine what could have happened if she decided to look for them on the street and left the school building by herself. Teacher said DD is distracted, I think I doesn't matter, in the end of the day we are the adults and is our responsability to keep them safe (phisically and psychologically), even a 'distracted' little one. Shoul I report this? Should I talk to the Principal? Do you think, honestly, that the problem is my daughter ?

OP posts:

NoFuchsGiven · 14/10/2016 10:17

She does sound distracted tbh, if the teacher has lined everyone up, done a head count then your dd decides to turn round and go the other way to the toilet/looking for her book etc, what is the teacher to do?

Does this happen with any other children in the class or just your dd?

ThatStewie · 14/10/2016 10:17

It's entirely possible she's distracted. She's a small child. It's quite normal for small children to be distracted. Misplacing her three times is simply not acceptable. Talking to the headteacher would be an appropriate response if it's happened three times.

BossWitch · 14/10/2016 10:19

I think your daughter probably does need to get the hang of the end of day routine.

But I also think that the teacher should be checking that the whole class is present before they lead them out. I'd contact the head and mention your concerns, as it seems to keep happening. Approach from the angle of 'how can we work together to stop this from happening' rather than 'you are failing to look after my child what are you going to do about it'.

Hope it gets sorted!

Onthecouchagain · 14/10/2016 10:22

That's sound entirely your child's doing.

someonestolemynick · 14/10/2016 10:22

How old does your daughter have to be until she had to start taking responsibility?
At 6 your daughter should be able to follow the class when they move around school and be able to ask for help if she gets split from the group.

Seeline · 14/10/2016 10:24

Do they not have to ask permission to go to the toilet?
It sounds very strange that they can just wander off to the loo without asking the teacher if they can. The teacher is then aware that certain children need to be waited for/chased up.

Keeptrudging · 14/10/2016 10:28

Why did she not leave with her class at home time (twice), but instead went (inside?) down another stairs? I'm struggling to visualise this. Whole class ready to be dismissed, teacher there dismissing them, whole class leaves, except your daughter, who ends up going a totally different direction. Twice.

The 'leaving behind' while they went to PE. That's more worrying, but again, I'm struggling to see how it happened. Whole class lined up to go to PE, whole class leaves. At that age (and much older), it's normal to do a head count before going anywhere.

I would talk to the HT as it's clearly a concern if it's happened 3 times. I would also talk to DD about not going wandering/leaving the building, and letting an adult in school know immediately if it happens again.

acasualobserver · 14/10/2016 10:28

Ofsted is not a complaints hotline for aggrieved parents. You need to contact the head, setting out your concerns in a clear and unemotional fashion.

cathaka15 · 14/10/2016 10:28

Maybe ask for a meeting with the headteacher and dd teacher.

Starlight2345 · 14/10/2016 10:30

My DS got in trouble at age 7 for running round in the hall when he should of followed the class back from PE..

This was completely my DS and his friends fault. He never did it again.

So no I do think you need to look at what is going wrong and what your DD part is.

I would expect a 6 year old to understand they don't leave school grounds without an adult.

steppemum · 14/10/2016 10:36

I am assuming the child is 5 or 6?

I don't thnk any teacher at dds school would say it is entirely the child's fault in this context.
They may get irritated that dd didn't follow the line, or be firmer about when she can go to the loo. They may wnat you and her to work on her 'distraction'

BUT, the child being left behind when the class leaves - that is 100% responsibility of the teacher. Is there a TA? Usually the TA brings up the rear. If no TA then there is usually some means of double checking. Counting and re-counting etc etc.

I think the class going to the gym building is particularly worrying.

Not sure why you are going straight to Ofsted though. Here are the steps you take

meet with class teacher, agree you will all work on her distraction, but in the meantime you need to know that your child is properly safeguarded, and at the moment she isn't. Ask what system they will put in place to ensure she isn't left behind.
If no result/negative response, make a meeting with the head. Put same question to her/him - how are you safeguarding my child. If no plan of action, then
letter to chair of governors, official complaint, same as above.

Then and only then Ofsted. They aren't that useful really, working with the school is faster and more effective. Unless school don't act and then Ofsted is your only way.

BathshebaDarkstone · 14/10/2016 10:39

This happened to DS 5 a week ago. He had multi sports after school for the first time, he'd forgotten, said "where's my mummy?" The teacher thought he'd said "there's my mummy?" She thought she'd seen the back of my head and sent him off. He was sitting crying on a bench in the playground until someone took him into the office and they realised he should be doing multi sports. He didn't have time to eat his snack or get changed into his PE kit and missed most of the club. I've made it clear to his teacher that this can't happen again.

If this keeps happening, that class needs a TA.

roundtable · 14/10/2016 10:41

Talk to OFSTED? No

Talk to the Head? Yes, to come up with a strategies for your child to stay where she should be.

Talk to your child? Yes. I would be rather concerned if my 6 year old was unable to line up without wandering off. If it's connected to an SN; a plan still needs to be made between the teacher and your child to support them. If not, you need to talk to your child quite seriously about the dangers of wandering off.

Isitjustmeorisiteveryoneelse · 14/10/2016 10:55

There is a set process for complaints like this. It sounds like you raised this with the class teacher already. Did she say DD was distracted just as a description of her character or was the teacher using it as the 'excuse' - if so that is not acceptable at all. The school safeguarding policy is either not good enough or this teacher is not adhering to it. Either way you first need to talk to the HT and ask what they are doing to ensure it doesn't happen again. If you're not happy with the response and you still think there is a safeguarding issue, your next port of call is usually writing to the Board of Governors to raise the complaint (check the schools complaints policy). Then if you're still not satisfied, raise it with the education dept at your Local Authority.

redskytonight · 14/10/2016 10:56

It doesn't actually sound like your DD was in any actual danger on any of the occasions though? If she's gone to the toilet/gone off to look for something and comes back to the classroom to find the class has gone, her only options are presumably following the class (if they are close enough) or going into another room.

With the gym class it's highly unlikely that she would have been able to leave the school building - schools are usually pretty "locked down".

With the best will in the world, the teacher can check she has everyone, but she doesn't have 30 pairs of eyes to check that no one then decides to wander off. By 6 your DD really should have "got" the concept of lining up and staying there - it's not like she has only just started school. That said, it obviously is an issue for her, so I would expect the teacher to keep an extra eye out/put some strategy in place.

crashdoll · 14/10/2016 10:58

YABU to go to Ofsted. YANBU to speak to both your child and the teacher and set up some strategies to avoid this happening again.

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 14/10/2016 10:59

Why would she go looking for them on the street and leave the school building? And sobbing?

Lots of unnecessary drama here.

Just talk to the teacher, or HT if you must, but it seems she's very immature for her age.

instantly · 14/10/2016 11:01

At 6 I would expect kids to be able to stand in a line after head count and follow the teacher.

The teacher can't split themselves into two so they can top and tail the line.

You need to be clear that your DD doesn't just take herself off from the main group. If she needed the toilet or had forgotten her book shoe MUST tell the teacher and await further instruction.

littlepippip · 14/10/2016 11:01

I think you should speak to the school and tell them your concerns, I also think you should take a bit of the responsibility for this. I would speak to your daughter about this and let her know that she needs to keep up with everyone and tell her the reasons why.

TinyTear · 14/10/2016 11:03

wow the kid is only 6
great victim blaming going on here...

OP i would talk to the head and see what they say, once is bad, three times needs addressing

Original poster

ShiftLD · 14/10/2016 11:11

Answering some questions:
1- On the secon time it happened with a boy too, it was me and the boy's nanny wondering where were they.
2- I love the teacher but indeed she started the conversation yesterday trying to blame DD distraction, I imediately said that understood but in the end of the day they are children and the gym teacher should have counted, she agreed immediately.
3- They always ask someone to go to toilet, teacher knew or should know that she was there.

OP posts:

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 14/10/2016 11:13

YABU to go to Ofsted. YANBU to speak to both your child and the teacher and set up some strategies to avoid this happening again.

This

instantly · 14/10/2016 11:19

wow the kid is only 6
great victim blaming going on here...

pmsl, where's the "victim" is this scenario?!?! Bonkers.

Original poster

ShiftLD · 14/10/2016 11:22

4- Teacher said she should have done the head count, maybe they don't usually do it at school just in trips, guessing...
5- DD is very obedient, loves rules, really. She would never simply leave a line, the school is actually very small they never line properly inside school, the outings are always a bit chaotic for a moment.

QUESTION:
I'm very uneasy with the situation but agree that I have to deal in a unemotional way, but , how?!? What frightens me more is that they do sports in a park blocks away from the school, what is they simply leave her behing?

OP posts:

Manumission · 14/10/2016 11:28

PPs blaming the 6 year old are being ridiculous.

A 6 year old being easily distracted is not a misdemeanour on the part of the 6 year old. There will be DC with various SN, EBD etc in the school, some of them throwing up more challenging issues than a tendency to be distracted. ALL of the DC must be kept safe my staff regardless of their personality, SN or stage of development.

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