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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

...to ask if this word is only used but some bigoted old fart?

25 replies

NoobThebrave · 14/10/2016 06:10

My son has been receiving quite a lot of hassle at school which has been dealt with but is not receiving nasty text messages from a 'pay as you go sim'.... Not traceable etc. This has all been dealt with, my question.......child in question and text messages both call my son 'faggot', now I have only heard this used by bigoted old farts in the early 80's! Is it so rare now that it is likely to be the same person, or has this hideous name become commonly used again? ( obviously only within school child mentality/bigoted old farts). Not doing anything with this, just curious if dinosaurs do exist?!

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Original poster

NoobThebrave · 14/10/2016 06:11

Oops bit early *by

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HallowedMimic · 14/10/2016 06:14

It's very commonly used amongst kids.

Homophobic insults are quite the thing at some point in many schools, but bizarrely I've heard the same expressions used as terms of endearment in a matey way.

phillipp · 14/10/2016 06:15

I am in my thirties and I remember some people using 'faggot' at school. Dd told me that someone in her class was placed in isolation, just before summer, for saying it. This was year 7.

Not sure why you are under the impression only older people would use it. My parents are in their sixties and would never say it.

Some people use awful words, it's not age dependent.

Original poster

NoobThebrave · 14/10/2016 06:16

Just seems so old fashioned?! This is definitely not being used in a friendly way!!

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SpaghettiMeatballs · 14/10/2016 06:18

As part of my work I have the misfortune to go through various written communication exhibited in criminal cases and written by some very nasty people.

Now that you've pointed it out yes, it is unusual for teens. Not unheard of but not what I'd expect to see. I think you may be right that it is the same person although once a phrase 'catches on' in a school lots of children tend to copy.

I'm sorry your son is having such a hard time. I assume the police are involved?

Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 14/10/2016 06:22

Faggot was used a lot when I was a child but it was used as an insult and is actually very insulting.

GunnyHighway · 14/10/2016 06:24

I think the younger generation probably get it from American teen movies. That insult along with fag seems to be more common there than here.

phillipp · 14/10/2016 06:24

I have never heard heard it a 'matey' way. I have only ever heard it as an insult.

It's can't possibly be something friendly.

Original poster

NoobThebrave · 14/10/2016 06:26

I find it very insulting and cannot believe it is something teens are using but as you say the novelty of a 'new' word may appeal 😳. In my mind it is a horrible word stuck in the 70's (and good riddance!). The police are involved (also graphic pictures) but do not trace payg sims - difficult and need court permission (only used for missing minors apparently).

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Original poster

NoobThebrave · 14/10/2016 06:29

now 🙄☕️☕️

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Original poster

NoobThebrave · 14/10/2016 06:32

Philli, I agree it is some people but there was an era when I was a child that was quite un PC!!

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phillipp · 14/10/2016 06:54

It was in PC when I was young too. People still use them.

Sadly it's not the worst one dd has heard at school. 2 boys were expelled in year 7 over repeatedly using racist insults. Sometimes I feel nothing has changed.

KaosReigns · 14/10/2016 06:59

It is one of those words that will always be around. But modern usage is not nessecarily a homophobic slur. In the past it has also be used for old people etc. It's a word that while technically an innocent word (faggot = bundle of sticks) has been used as an insult for various groups over the decades.

South Park has a rather interesting episode on the subject actually.

Of course that does not excuse it's use in any way. Although it is only through continued use that its connotations as a homophobic slur can be removed and it can move on to its next incarnation... still not condoning it though.

Lifeisontheup2 · 14/10/2016 07:14

I have heard it used quite often by gay male friends, none of my straight friends use it and interestingly neither do my gay female friends.

My DC's have never used it but they are the type who are very hot on inappropriate usage of language and would call anyone on using it from their friends to their 90 year old Grandfather.

BertrandRussell · 14/10/2016 07:27

It's a homophobic insult.

Don't put up with it.

However much some people's "gay friends" might use it.

Original poster

NoobThebrave · 14/10/2016 08:31

It was used very much as a homophobic insult with accompanying pictures and suggestions aside from the nastiness I was just amazed it was still used as an insult. Sadly most of the phobias and bigotry is learnt from 'role models'. I guess I will never know but sort of reassuring that it could be random rather than sinister stalking behaviour!

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Matchingbluesocks · 14/10/2016 08:32

I also think it's a very unusual (not even sure if old fashioned, just not common) insult which means little in the UK but is a common insult in the US. I wonder if a person of any age would pick it up from there
I'm sorry to hear about your sons problems, how very stressful

ToastyFingers · 14/10/2016 08:41

Ugh. What a horrible hateful word.

If you find out who it is, I'd report it. Inciting hatred towards gay people is not a joke. Ever.

MetalMidget · 14/10/2016 09:03

It's still a very common insult in the US.

A lot of hip hop acts used it (Lord Jamar, who's also an actor, recorded a diss track calling Kanye West a fag and a faggot, for example). A few nu-metal bands used the term, but usually in the context of saying how they themselves are called faggots by abusive people.

I was a bit gobsmacked watching Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey the other week - the term fag was used a couple of times!

sonlypuppyfat · 14/10/2016 09:08

Kids use it to describe someone who's a bit soft, doesn't want to be one of the lads or go out because it's cold etc

Lifeisontheup2 · 14/10/2016 09:11

Bertrand Of course it's a homophobic insult which is presumably why my children would never use it. My point, although obviously rather clumsily made, judging by your inverted commas, was that it seems to be one of those words like nigger. Totally unacceptable and rightly so unless it's used by black people.
The word faggot is equally totally unacceptable unless used by gay males as I presume they cannot be homophobic or can they?

derxa · 14/10/2016 09:29

In my mind it is a horrible word stuck in the 70's I grew up in the 70s and 60s and nobody ever used it. It's a US word.

wasonthelist · 14/10/2016 10:27

It's an unwelcome import from Redneck USA.

Although like a lot of their unwelcome terminology we probably sent it there.

Kids use it because almost all TV and social media is US centric/originiated.

wasonthelist · 14/10/2016 10:29

US Kids TV shows like Victorious freely use "Spazzy" as well. Their standards are different.

Original poster

NoobThebrave · 15/10/2016 08:50

Thank you for your comments. The US link would make sense, we don't really watch TV weirdos so I hadn't thought about that side. It does make it more likely to be same child though which is sad. Police can't do anything but let's hope it's an end ...........and that we de-americanise our culture!

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