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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If 111 say you need to take your DC to A&E within the hour 'I have plans, that'll take too long'

31 replies

WhoKnewSeamus · 12/10/2016 20:50

Is NOT the answer! Unless he is an international man of mystery under the guise of a fuckwit (which he plays incredibly well).
I am appalled and sadly not suprised in equal measure.
Is this normal? I wouldn't mind so much if it could be acknowledged that he really is a selfish shit of a parent.

OP posts:
Eevee77 · 12/10/2016 20:51

Not normal. What the hell?

deathtoheadlice · 12/10/2016 20:53

Totally agree.
But my a&e said that the thing about 'within an hour' is what they always say! why?? Why not give good information about how urgent it is so we don't move mountains to get there within the hour only to wait for four hours, and be told they didn't mean it? Don't they know people might not listen when it really is urgent one time?

Northernlurker · 12/10/2016 20:55

Are you still with this man? Because somebody who puts their plans above their kids health needs kicking to the curb pronto.

Duckyneedsaclean · 12/10/2016 20:55

To be fair, 111 tells everyone to go to a&e as far as I can make out.

But that reaction is not normal, no.

idontlikealdi · 12/10/2016 20:56

111 wanted to send me an ambulance when I had a chest infection. It's shite.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 12/10/2016 20:56

111 say that to everyone though.

I work in a nursing home and if I ring 111 they always send an ambulance.

BusStopBetty · 12/10/2016 20:58

Was he serious?

Although I would take any 111 advice with a shit ton of salt. Got a sniffle? Ambulance is on its way.

Original poster
WhoKnewSeamus · 12/10/2016 21:02

No I'm not he's impossible.
I agree re 111, but she's a toddler and they were concerned she might have chemical burns in both eyes (she's fine), if it was for me I wouldn't have bothered to go, but I wouldn't take that risk with her plus how would it look if you ignored the advice and then there was a problem?
I just can't fathom the lack of care/concern/impetus to you know, parent.
But on the other hand I could kick myself for having bothered to call him in the first place, he was no where to be seen when DD could taken by ambulance for suspected meningitis. He did offer to transfer me £10 to take the 4 DC under 8 on the 20 mile journey to sit in A&E though, so that was thoughtful Hmm

OP posts:
BastardGoDarkly · 12/10/2016 21:05

He's a cunt. Make sure you never have to rely on him, except for maintenance.

Glad DD is ok Flowers

Goingtobeawesome · 12/10/2016 21:16

111 don't always send you to A&E or send an ambulance but I will concede they sometimes send when it turns out not to be necessary.

potentialqualms · 12/10/2016 21:17

Why did they suspect she had chemical burns to her eyes? I would have thought in that situation it would be fairly obvious if she needed the hospital.

As she's fine he was right though. (sorry Grin)

Glad she's OK. I do wonder what 111's for.

YuckYuckEwwww · 12/10/2016 21:17

fucking hell YANBU

(although FWIW I assume "within the hour" is what they say to everyone who doesn't need an ambulace, so that they don't go and ring for an ambulance saying they were told to go "straight" to A&E and defered from that that they are entitled to be whizzed there through red lights in a nee-nar to save them the taxi fare which they can easily afford, cause only people with money are that tight/entitled IMO)

Happyhippy45 · 12/10/2016 21:23

111 once asked me if I was breathing and conscious.....I had phoned them and had just answered a previous question........

Op, he sounds like a right twat

Pseudonym99 · 12/10/2016 21:31

They tell you that just to cover their arse. If you are not prepared to take them to A&E, then its probably not worth ringing 111 either.

BlackeyedSusan · 12/10/2016 21:42

last time we were told to go to a and e by 111, we were in and out before 20 minutes. the triage nurse could not tell us to go home, but we got the message anyway. she seemed a bit annoyed at 111. we were in and out before we needed to pay for a parking ticket.

Original poster
WhoKnewSeamus · 12/10/2016 21:44

She got sprayed straight in both eyes with perfume, so they thought she could have some sort of chemical burn from it's ingrediants (no idea what they are, not listed on the bottle and not my perfume). She is fine, I thought she probably was but I didn't know what I should do/look out for so I rang 111 for advice and their advice was take her to A&E. I actually took her to minor injuries in the end and someone else watched the other 3 for me, I couldn't really leave the baby for hours and didn't want to take him to A&E and figured if we needed A&E minor injuries would direct us there.
I just think it's a shitty response from a parent, he didn't say he didn't think she needed to go, just that it would take too long to for him to take her as he had plans and didn't want to cancel them.

OP posts:
timefortea33 · 12/10/2016 21:56

Ah yes, 111.... when my DC cut his toe badly at 2, and was screaming, they (111) asked me to get away from the noise (I couldn't really leave him alone, but they didn't seem to get that!), then when i explained he was the 'patient' and had to stay with me, they asked if he was unconscious, or his lips had turned blue....
They decided I should take him somewhere, but couldn't tell me which places near me were open at 6pm (e.g. small injuries unit), because, they said, they weren't in my area, so how would they know a thing like that!
I'll probably make my own mind up what to do in future.. :-s

Original poster
WhoKnewSeamus · 12/10/2016 22:38

Well I might ask 111 for advice again, but I certainly won't be asking the DC's father for any assistance.
On the plus side, I don't feel cross anymore. Same old and DD's OK so all's well.

OP posts:
Memoires · 12/10/2016 23:01

I always found 111 quite helpful, though they have sent ambulances once ortwice (for me when someone else called). I did need it once. Otherwise, they've given good advice to me when dd was small on several occasions and once sent a doctor round to have a look at me when I did need it.

The idioy and lack of care on your ex's part is quite extraordinary.

YuckYuckEwwww · 12/10/2016 23:06

Why are people always critical that 111 initially ask everyone some of the same standard triage questions?

If they guessed or assumed based on background phone noises how bad would that be??

Chocolate123 · 12/10/2016 23:15

This happened me too my ex was busy on Christmas Day while his child was having surgery Angry

hopelesslycynical · 12/10/2016 23:16

timefortea your being unfair there. It is incredibly difficult to hear what someone is saying on the phone if there is a kid screaming in the background, and if the call handler/nurse misheard what you said and an adverse incident resulted, then their job/registration would seriously be at risk. You're correct on being asked if they were conscious and breathing, the screaming would have told them that, and it would be unlikely that their lips were blue, but as 111 is an over the phone service and obviously cannot see the patient, it is sensible to make sure.

ZuleikaDobson · 12/10/2016 23:28

111 told me I absolutely had to get my mother to hospital. However, when I said that I had no means of getting her there, they were reluctant to send an ambulance. Eventually they got a doctor to call us and, after putting a few questions she decided, correctly, that hospital wasn't needed. My mother was fine the next day.

Original poster
WhoKnewSeamus · 12/10/2016 23:33

I don't think 111 gave bad advice tbh, I was happy to get her seen.

It's the lack of care on her fathers part that pissed me off, not just for her but the other DC's. The expectation that they should go and sit in A&E for hours on a school night rather then disrupt his plans. He didn't know how DD was anymore then the operator on 101 did (infact less as the operator asked a lot more questions) as neither could see her, but somehow I did stupidly expect him to care and want to help in the care for all of his DC.
Chocolate does he 'love his kids to bits' too? It's easy to 'love them to bits' when it doesn't actually impact in anyway on your life other then letting other people know how bloody fantastic you are.

OP posts:
Original poster
WhoKnewSeamus · 12/10/2016 23:35

There's no way she needed an ambulance, I'd have refused if they'd offered. But, if I call them for advice re DC and they say she needs to be seen, by hook or by crook I'm getting them there.

OP posts: