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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or a weird busybody if I report this to the school?

15 replies

SleightOfMind · 12/10/2016 14:43

DD, 6, mentioned yesterday that two of her friends were being 'gross' in the playground.
I asked what they did and she said they 'got sticks and put them in their bits and said they were being sexy'.
We were walking to the car with younger sibling so I just said, 'That sounds very silly.' She agreed and said they could have got splinters!
Later that evening I asked her very casually who had done it and if she'd seen it. She said she wouldn't look but they wanted to tell her all about it - so didn't actually witness this.
She also confirmed the sticks are going in their underwear and 'inside their bits'.
These girls are only 6. AIBU to have a word with the teacher?
What should I say?

OP posts:
Imnotaslimjim · 12/10/2016 14:44

I'd definitely mention it, yes. at 6, they must have seen this behaviour somewhere else so it would have me wondering where from!

noimaginationatall · 12/10/2016 14:45

I would, it might just be silly Childs play but doesn't sound natural to me. They have watched or seen something they shouldn't have. This is a safeguarding issue!

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 12/10/2016 14:45

Yes, please report it.

Simply say exactly what your dd has said to you.

LockedOutOfMN · 12/10/2016 14:47

Yes, please tell the teacher. As the other posters said, one or more of the children must have got this idea from somewhere.

I'm not usually that parent and I'm a teacher myself but I am quite surprised that the supervision in the playground would be so poor that the children could be putting things in their underwear. (Not that I don't believe it happened. But I would hope at 6 they are supervised sufficiently in the playground).

Keeptrudging · 12/10/2016 14:48

It's beyond the scope of general 'normal' behaviour for that age, I would report so it can be checked out.

ErrolTheDragon · 12/10/2016 14:48

I'm inclined to think that you should have a word, not because there's anything wrong with two six year olds playing 'sexy' together (normal curiosity) but because using sticks might indeed give them splinters or some other injury.

Maybe phrase it something like, my DD told me two girls were playing with sticks and it sounded as though they could potentially hurt themselves and then be embarrassed to tell anyone.

BowieFan · 12/10/2016 14:51

If it was lads, I'd say it was them putting sticks in their underwear and pretending they have erections (they all do this, and I have no idea why, but they find it hilarious from about the age of 5 until about 80 )

But yes, with girls it does seem a bit odd. I'd just say what your DD has said to you, and let the school take it from there.

myownprivateidaho · 12/10/2016 14:52

Yeah, safeguarding issue imo.

Sunshineonacloudyday · 12/10/2016 15:22

Maybe they were pretending to have willy's I would mention something to the teacher incase they do hurt themselves in the future. If your brave enough talk to the parents and tell them what your daughter said. I would want to know if my kids were playing up at school.

Peach9876 · 12/10/2016 15:23

As everyone else has said, yes definitely inform the class teacher.
As someone who has worked in a school supervision at playtimes isn't always great. Some schools are really strict about having all the children where they can be supervised and enough staff, others may have 1 teacher or 'lunch time supervisor' (aka dinner lady) watching a playground with 100+ kids with various places to hide (eg behind sheds, under climbing apparatus, behind walls etc).

You wouldn't be 'one of those mums'. If you complained about a child talking about fannies or something then I'd tell you to get a grip. But this could harm one of these kids, and while some kids do naturally explore this sort of thing, acting 'sexy' and showing others isn't normal at all. Sounds very strange to me. I would try to write down everything DD has said, and give it to school. Don't add to it, or try to explain what she has said, just her words as best you can. Someone at school might also want to talk to her about it.

statetrooperstacey · 12/10/2016 15:35

I can't imagine they were simulating sex with a stick, I think as a pp has said they were probably pretending to have a Willy! Bit like sticking satsumas down your top.

Peach9876 · 12/10/2016 15:40

I would like to think they were just pretending to have a willy. But it's the 'being sexy' part whilst doing it that just doesn't sit right with me.
Hopefully the teacher and parents can get to the bottom of it all, inform the girls it's not a good idea to put dirty sticks in your knickers due to health reasons and have a chat about private parts should be private. Don't show anyone or let them touch you there.

Original poster
SleightOfMind · 12/10/2016 15:43

Thanks all!
Sorry for late reply. School run.
Have spoken to class teacher. Just reported what DD said. She was quite shocked but pleased I'd told her.
I also said I had not spoken to anyone other that DD & DH and would now wipe it from my brain.
Unfortunately DD did confirm they were inserting the sticks to 'be sexy'.
Bit upsetting isn't it. Glad I said something.

OP posts:
Mishaps · 12/10/2016 15:47

If I were the staff I would wish to know about this. They can keep a bit of an eye on what is going on then.

Original poster
SleightOfMind · 12/10/2016 16:40

I think it's more like boys putting sticks in their anuses 'to be sexy' iyswim.
Hopefully just an older cousin/sibling said something in their presence and it's normal experimenting based on an inappropriate comment.
Anyway, all in the school's hands now. Thanks for the perspective Vipers!

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