DP and I have been together a few months and at the time of meeting, had both come out of short lived marriages which had ended a couple of years previously. We have been talking about planning our first holiday together. As somebody who loves travelling, I have been looking forward to planning new adventures with him. My ex husband had a lot of debt so we didn't have much cash for holidays so didn't go to many places.
The problem is that one or two places that are top of my list to visit and places that I have always wanted to visit are places that he has been to before with his ex wife. Places where he proposed, they honeymooned together, had romantic trips away etc. On Facebook I have seen him tagged in stuff detailing all the things they did. It's annoying hearing about a proposal and a honeymoon in places I want to go to.
I know full well I am being ridiculous. It is in the past, he doesn't love her anymore and there is nothing I can do to change it. Everybody has got a past and baggage. There are places I have been to with significant exes etc etc etc.
I just can't help the thought that I REALLY want to go to these places but now feel like they've been tainted. There is a particular city that I now feel I can never go to. How can I go there with him and not feel that he is not seeing things with fresh eyes for the first time and will be reliving memories of his time with her? Especially the places where they got engaged/ went on honeymoon?
I KNOW I am being utterly ridiculous and expect to be told so. I am becoming a bit obsessed by this and can't stop thinking about it. I just want to know if anybody has ever felt like this and how you overcame this irrational jealousy of a past you can do nothing about.
Should I avoid these places altogether and never experience them? Should I go to the same places with him and overwrite them with our own memories or would that just make me sick with jealousy that he has done it all before with her? It's strange because the fact that he actually has an ex wife does not bother me at all. It's just the travel stuff.
I'm prepared to be told I am being stupid. The past cannot be changed and he is with me now. That's all that matters. I just can't get it out my head and need somebody on here to lend me a massive grip.
Ta.